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falling-star


				

				

				

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joined 2024 June 02 04:58:53 UTC
				

				

				

				

				

				

					
				

				

				
				
				

				
User ID: 3087


				
				
				

			

		

	














	


		


			



	

		

			

			

				

					

						

							
						

						

							
							

								
falling-star


								

								

								
								
								

								
							
					
 
				


				

				
				
				

				

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					joined 2024 June 02 04:58:53 UTC
				


				
					

					
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				Wellness Wednesday for August 20, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Hello Motte Friends!


I've been getting more involved in my local rave scene as part of my effort to get a girlfriend. This post is part an anthropology post like @self_made_human's, part progress report, and part discussing strategy


What the scene is like


    

  • The motto is Peace, Love, Unity, Respect (PLUR). A general attitude of being accepting, vulnerable, and spreading positive vibes prevails. Drug use is common, but not nearly as universal as outsiders think. It only takes a minority of people to completely change a groups vibe (IMO for the better). Contact high is real.
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  • The accepting attitude means you get a wide range of people and subcultures. You'll often see PhDs and tradesmen chatting. It's extremely internet influenced. I tell people the main way to tell if an event is a rave or just a club night is the presence of animal ears. God bless neko girls.
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  • The music and dancing is nominally the main reason everyone's there, but half the action is floating around and chatting with people off the dance floor. Most people are way more open to conversation and connection than normal.
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  • There are different tiers of events (duh). The biggest ones have the most single girls, but they're so loud and crowded it's hard to talk to them. The smallest ones are mostly attended by the people that go to every event, almost all the girls there are taken. There's a real goldilocks zone in between the two.
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  • Lots of events are invite only or minimally advertised. The people that go to every event are often part of the crew for these. These are often ideal places to meet people. Almost every event has an after party. Getting invited usually requires knowing someone on the crew.
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What I did, how it turned out


    

  • I went to every event I could and brought a polaroid camera. I went around, walking up to random people and offering to take people's pictures. The acceptance rate was around 95%.
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  • This almost always lead to a follow up conversation and me becoming friendly with their circle for the rest of the night. I would be gifts or invites to other events.
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  • I tried using this as an in to talk to the beautiful girls in elaborate costumes I saw at every event. They all ended up asking for photos with their boyfriends, which I obliged. Rule of thumb I learned was the more complex the outfit, the more likely they're taken.
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  • In terms of romantic results, I made out with one girl after taking her picture. That didn't go anywhere after I learned she was poly. I used polaroid as an icebreaker on behalf of my friends, resulting in one hook up and one date. Girls who I'm not interested in sometimes flirt with me.
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  • I made friendly with one particular crew to the point I'm invited to every event they're involved with + after parties. In that social circle way more people know me and my name than the other way around. Is this the social proof thing people talk about?
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  • I got cool with their organizer, who unironically knows hundreds of people. I asked him to introduce me to potential partners and he agreed. Hasn't happened yet but he says he's looking.
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Advice/Difficulties


    

  • I don't know how to dance with other people, especially how to dance up to a girl to get her attention. Any advice here? I often find myself dancing faster than everyone else.
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  • At these events I'm talking to a lot of people, but it stays surface level, light hearted. I don't really know how to flirt. I've been told I'm attractive when the conversation gets passionate or philosophical, but I don't know how to guide a conversation there.
    • 



				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of August 11, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I'm a cum boy. I think there's at least 5 other regular posters that are too.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of July 14, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
If the guys telling me there's no fire smells light gasoline and has ash on his shoes, yeah I won't believe him.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of July 7, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
The average hard (cocaine or worse) drug consumer generally doesn't have the patience to wait a few weeks for an order to ship. They likely also lack the IQ, agency, or tech ability to figure out how to use the dark net market and crypto.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of July 7, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
The McVeigh story as understood in the popular consciousness is incomplete at best and outright wrong at worst. I'd recommend anyone wanting to learn more to read Aberration in The Heartland of the Real.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Culture War Roundup for the week of June 9, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Probably 90-95 mph. I don't have a great car though.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for May 28, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Naw bro I'm a white guy from New England.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for May 28, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
IDK man, every girl I've been with has enjoyed the info dumps. I think if they think you're cute they're down for the excited babble.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for May 28, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
Christ. How does the kid even come back from that situation. The default answer is "therapy", but I don't have high hopes.


				

				

						

							

								
							

						


						
					

				
			


			

	


			
			
				

			
		

	






		

			
			
				Wellness Wednesday for May 28, 2025
			
		

	

	

	

		
			

			

				

			

		

			


				

					
I'm out of the startup accelerator program now. I grew up a lot and got disabused of a lot of delusions over those months. I might have developed the smallest sense of pride in my accomplishments. Now I'm back in my home city and old bad habits are creeping up on me again. They're not as bad this time though. 5 steps forward, three steps back.


My big thing for the foreseeable future is to try and find a girl. I would appreciate feedback and advice on my plan below.


My current theory (based off when I got past gfs/hook ups), is that I'm at my most attractive when I feel full of will and energy. So for the next month I'm going to focus on building that up through good sleep, regular exercise, and other good habits. I'm also trying to improve my appearance through starting a skincare routine, lifting, and buying more fashionable clothes.


Once the month is up, I'll start trying to get dates. I'm thinking a two pronged approach. First I'll try making a profile on Hinge, with professional photos and advice from my Chad tier friends. Second I'll attend every rave/EDM event I can and talk to girls there. I already have a few connections in that scene. Last time I went to an event I brought a polaroid camera and went around offering to take free pictures for people. This gave me an excuse to talk to anyone and seems to be building a positive reputation. I'm going to keep doing it at all future events.


I wear glasses, in the past contacts have been too irritating to feel worth it. Should I just suck it up?


The two recent top level CW posts about dating have been kinda demoralizing, but I'm keeping my chin up.