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PaperclipPerfector  2d ago (text post)   1050 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for October 22, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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My visitor visa to the States was denied. After an hour spent queueing out in the rain in London and several more queuing inside. Fuck me.

I don't think there's any hope for attending Inkhaven this time, and I was really looking forward to that. I would have met Scott, Gwern, and even Aella (academic curiosity only). I'd have gotten so much done. On the plus side, I guess I can publish the essays I was holding out on.

Despite advice given to me here to the contrary, it turns out that American visa officers are bemused by claims to be attending an unpaid writing retreat. I was asked why I hadn't applied for a J1 (uh.. because it's not applicable here?), and other nonsense that showed a questionable grasp on the situation. They didn't ask for the documents I had brought as supporting evidence, and I was handed the denial before I could even proffer them myself. Is a single, young Indian male a flight risk? Probably. But I haven't heard of many doctors jumping fences. Absolute misery.

I am considering going through this ballache again, as I said, it won't suffice for Inkhaven, but I do want to make a wedding in Texas. I might even try and hit up a few Mottizens and other people I know in the country, it's not like I have a shortage of annual leave now. Or I might give up and apply for a Schengen instead, Spain and Greece seem awfully inviting when I know what the Scottish winter entails. We'll see.

I’m sorry to hear it.

Maybe consider talking to Scott, if you haven’t already? It may be that they can request a temporary visa for you in some way, or at least go through some process to make clear that there is a genuine pull coming from the American end for you specifically, which I imagine might carry more weight with an American visa office.

I'd feel bad asking Scott for something like that, while I idolize him, I can't really expect him to be more than dimly aware of my existence at best. Just as importantly, I doubt that he would be able to arrange something like that, unless maybe Vance is following him on Twitter. I've yet to hear back from Lighthaven given the awkward hours, but if they suggest some kind of solution themselves, I have little to lose by trying.

I did tell them that next time, it might be worth sending a formal looking letter of invitation as opposed to an email. That's all I really had to hand the visa officials :(

(Thank you, I'm still in town, so let me know if you'd like a drink Saturday afternoon or later on Sunday)

I thought it was Scott-run, and that he would want to know about attendees having difficulty attending. Talking to Lighthaven sounds like the right move.

A drink tomorrow afternoon sounds great! Same place as before, or different?

Scott is affiliated with Inkhaven, but he's one of the Big Name attendees/mentors, I don't believe he's responsible for the day to day management or organization, which is run by Lighthaven staff (most of them are LessWrong mods or in that circle). I left a message in the Slack too, so if Scott sees it and feels like offering help, I'd be touched, I just don't feel right in bothering him about it.

A drink tomorrow afternoon sounds great! Same place as before, or different?

Can't go wrong with a Spoons, I'll send you a text, let's say we meet anywhere between 2-5? I will likely be attending a speed dating event later for the hell of it, and you could come along if you have £22 to burn!

Brilliant, sounds great.

(academic curiosity only)

Likely story buddy.

Joking aside, I'm sorry dude, that's a nuisance.

She's the world's most renowned/infamous sex researcher! I had to see how she did the data collection on important metrics like "came in fluffer", ideally via a practical demonstration.

Joking aside, I'm sorry dude, that's a nuisance.

Thank you. I'm trying to look at the bright side, which is fucking off for a vacation somewhere nice and warm. I knew the visa approval wasn't guaranteed, but I still thought it was more likely to go through than not. I'm as squeaky clean as it gets, but alas, not clean enough.

I had to see how she did the data collection on important metrics like "came in fluffer",

At least you know how that data was displayed, unlike the poor Mottizen you responded to.

I recently went to Greece for the first time and stayed for a week. I had a fabulous time, I enjoyed it more than Italy. Ate my own body weight in gyros, drank loads of cheap red wine, didn't see a drop of rain the whole time I was there. Highly recommended.

You had me sold at no rain. The winter here is bad enough without the constant drizzle that can't quite be arsed to turn into snow.

I can't speak to the particulars of your situation with Inkhaven, but from my experience watching CBP reality TV shows (not by choice, a travel buddy loved to put them on), generally they assume that anything that sounds remotely like working probably is work and you therefore need a work visa and [DENIED]. A regular tourist visa to meet up with some people you know should be fine, though schlepping down to London is a real pain. Condolences and good luck.

Thank you. In hindsight, I should have prioritized the wedding, and probably avoided describing Inkhaven as a "residential" writing workshop. Apparently, a first time (at least in several decades) visitor visa has the standard where you have to convince the officers that you won't abscond, with the presumption you will by default.

Coming down to London is indeed a massive pain, as is the rather severe chest infection I seem to have caught from an hour of exposure to the elements. Next time, which might well be in the dead of winter as opposed to an abysmally rainy day, I'm going to put on my best Eskimo cosplay.

Yeah, the thing is, angloid legal bureaucracy is a bunch of magic words, and saying any of the magic words can either save you or doom you. The human stuff is in between, but both "residential" and "work"shop were probably the wrong incantations. Lawyers are a fae court, and that amplifies down to the guys who kind of vaguely hear their instructions seventh-hand.

Surprised it's got that bad in London so quickly. Earlier this week was drizzly and vaguely chill, but par for the course for the season. Good luck and, look, if you need the strong stuff to kill that infection, nobody who haint a doctor can tell any of youse' lot's writings apart.

Its just front line public service workers. They aren't that smart. No one makes a career out of these front line positions (although some work in them for 20+ years).

I remember applying for a professional accreditation and initially being rejected because the requirement was a trade school equivalent certificate and I had a bachelor's degree in it. Arbitrary box ticking.

Does anyone else feel guilt over not working the full 8 hours in a laptop job?

Even though I do something very provably useful, and bring in millions for the company while being paid basically entry level, doing something that requires (imo) rare talent, I still feel a lot of guilt that I tend to work only 4-6 hours a day.

Most people I’ve talked to fall into two camps, either telling me it’s fine and I should slack more, or that I have a fake email job and should join a startup instead. Sadly I did the startup path for many years and got burned pretty hard.

Anyway, seems like most others in my corporation also don’t work a full 40 hours but, I detest this sort of fakery most of us feel forced to do. I wish I could be honest about how I do the tasks I’m assigned, often going above and beyond, but it just doesn’t take me 40 hours.

Does anyone else feel guilt over not working the full 8 hours in a laptop job?

I rarely work more than 2 hours. That includes Zoom meetings. I am in big corporate with amazingly terrible development process.

So do you feel guilty about it??

Absolutely not.

How come?

They decided to have a byzantine waterfall with absurd security policies that mean you are always waiting for someone else. Not me. It is not my job to educate the stupid while they pay me.

Getting paid by the hour is fakery no matter what, unless you literally keep pace with an assembly line or man a human-to-human interaction post for the entirety of your workday. I try to fulfill my obligations exactingly, putting in the hours specified and the effort to match...but what exactly is the expected level of effort? Nobody quantifies it. It's a nebulous "so long as deadlines are met, you did your part, and if not, then it's down to the quality of your excuses". Does it matter whether I do it in 4 hours or in 8? Does it matter whether I'm available to my co-workers for 8 hours a day? Does it matter whether I put effort in at a constant rate, or can it vary over the course of a day so long as the overall effort matches expectations? And again, how to quantify it? Are my colleagues shirking, faking their hours, when they do small-talk in the office? Am I shirking when I lean back, look outside the window and daydream? Are we all shirking when we take circuitous routes through the building to get a little exercise? OTOH, am I putting in overtime when I think about work in the shower, while driving, or in bed?

In the end, getting paid by the hour is a gross oversimplification, albeit perhaps a necessary one, and the only thing that matters is whether your superior is satisfied with your performance.

My company is planning to adopt MS Team, any tips on gaming it so I appear more active than not?

Any of the following:

  • Build a physical mouse-jiggler (works best when you just click the MS Teams UI directly; interacting with other programs doesn't always register as activity).
  • Schedule meetings and focus time that will make you show up as busy. You can go the extra mile and join your fake meeting with no participants and have the video call run while you're absent. Just make sure you don't invite anyone and keep your camera off; would be embarassing if they joined and saw you snooze.
  • Actually work 8 hours, go above the above and beyond the beyond, and leverage the additional performance for a higher salary OR the same salary with fewer nominal hours.

Get the app on your mobile phone so you can quickly respond (and/or buy time). While I'm a contractor I spend most of my time at home doing whatever I like unless someone needs doing. This might not work in larger company's that actually monitor mouse movements/keystrokes per hour or something.

If you put meeting blocks on your calendar it takes longer to show you as idle.

Does anyone else feel guilt over not working the full 8 hours in a laptop job?

Mostly I feel bored and that I'm wasting my life on the days I don't put in a solid day of work. Why be here and put up with all the nonsense of being in an office if I'm not actually accomplishing something? I'd be better off doing a solid 4 and going home, but that's not an option.

Ahh yeah, I am blessed to work hybrid and be able to leave early. It's worth looking for a job like that, trying to pretend to be busy at the office is horrid.

I gave up on my previous startup. I'm trying to do some direct to consumer AI bullshit mobile app now. I didn't get paid for a while at the last business and my savings are almost out. Going to have to find a part time job to sustain myself. I'm bumming pretty much anything I can off my friends at this point. At least they care about me.

I'm starting to recover my gains at the gym. That feels nice. Between that and trying to eat healthy, I have something holding me together. I'm not really thinking or feeling much, even though I should. That was my life's work for years. My mentality now is "just keep walking, if you stop you die."

I'm starting to take stimulants again. They're pretty bad for my mental state and social skills. Once I get decent progress towards an MVP on this app I'll get off them. If any motte bros have experience in consumer mobile apps or game design I'd appreciate the chance to pick your brains.

A few weeks ago I had the thought that I was ready to start dating. I guess I'm mentally ready, but no money is rough. I do feel way better about my sex appeal developing a mobile app than a b2b healthcare whatever. Once I get some part time work I'll finally pay for professional pictures and get on the apps. Hopefully I don't degrade too much by then.

Sorry to hear my friend. Remember that most startups fail, and much of it is out of your control. I wish ya luck in the next venture.

I took the first long ride on my bike on my planned path to a century, doing a 50k ride to Cape May in South Jersey. The thing I like about picking up new hobbies is that I learn so much every time I do something I've never done before. I'm glad I spent so much time trying out different bikes before I committed to anything, if I had purchased a bike four months ago I would have picked something very different. I'm riding a 2005ish Bianchi Volpe touring bike. I would have assumed I would never use drop bars, but I actually find I like drop bars a lot better than flat bars. I feel like I can put down power more easily when needed, and on the longer ride I appreciated having the ability to switch up hand positions to adjust my body or get out of the wind or just to avoid boredom. Plus I like the integrated shifter/brake design, though I miss the gear indicators on most mountain bikes I've seen, sometimes I've been very wrong about what gear I was in, though less often than I think I am.

I do wish I would have left earlier in the morning. I got out around 630, I wanted to try to leave in the twilight so that I'd get out as early as possible without riding much in the dark for too long. In retrospect, I would have rather rode in the dark for a bit, I have a good headlight, there weren't any cars on the road early, and if I route through quieter roads it's a non-concern. And as it got later, traffic started to pick up which slowed me down a bit. Given the choice I'll trade more time riding in the dark for less time riding with cars around me.

On balance it went fine, I wasn't thrilled with the speed I kept up but it was within my expectations, and to be honest I'm not sure what the precise distance traveled or moving speed was because Strava glitched out and tells me I took a shortcut and biked directly across the bay rather than taking the bridge. The direct shortest route I mapped to the lighthouse was 37 miles, Strava said I did it in 31 miles, I didn't entirely follow that short route and probably did more as I got off course several times because I took a wrong turn, chose to take a longer road because it was prettier or safer or for less traffic, and then there was a period where I was cruising through residential neighborhoods looking for an unattended construction site to pee. Then when I got to the Lighthouse, and called my wife who was supposed to pick me up there, she wasn't awake yet, so I rode another five miles back to town to meet her at the restaurant we'd picked. So I did somewhere between 36 and 42 miles, or something like that.

I was pleased with my endurance, I wasn't struggling to pedal even at the end just dropped a couple gears, though I was changing handlebar positions every few seconds trying to find a position I could hold. I definitely feel like I had more in the tank.

Mrs. FiveHour forgot something important at the Shore, so we're going back this weekend, and I'm going to try for fifty miles Saturday morning, which is the next step towards my goal of hitting a century. I'd never biked farther than 20 miles in a day before last weekend, and I was kind of nervous that I'd find out I didn't have it. After this ride I'm feeling confident I'll hit the fifty miles, and the metric century not long after that, but I'm thinking to do a full hundred miles I might need to actually find an organized ride or race where I won't have to deal with road traffic that slowed me down significantly. Alternatively, I could do the five mile loop at my local rail trail twenty times in a row, which would have the advantage of being easy to meter if I can keep count. Biggest thing I need to do is improve my ability to keep a higher cadence for longer period.

Due to years of accumulated physical trauma, I have some teeth on one side that are in rough shape, and my dentist has determined that one of them needs to come out and get replaced by an implant.

Does anyone have any recovery tips? I'm trying to maximize my rate of healing and bone mass retention. The dentist will be doing a bone graft after the extraction.

I've collected the following recommendations so far:

  • Stay hydrated
  • No aspirin for at least three days.
  • No straws for two weeks.
  • No carbonated beverages for two weeks.
  • No lifting or running for at least three days.
  • Increase calcium intake.
  • Increase magnesium intake.
  • Increase vitamin c intake.
  • Increase protein (specifically collagen) intake.
  • Get a lot of sleep.
  • No coke or Pepsi for eight weeks, since phosphoric acid can mess with calcium absorption.

Any other suggestions?

I mean I would just suggest giving up sugary beverages forever.

I don't drink, smoke, or do drugs, and I try to keep my sugar intake under 20g/day.

A diet coke when I'm playing a gig is necessary, or people will try to buy me booze.

Instead of Diet Coke you might try substituting sparkling water, soda water or tonic water.

Tonic water usually has lots of sugar.

Wait really??? What!

Tonic water is a soda. Soda water is not.

This apparently makes sense. Tonic water has a bunch of additives in it, most notably quinine, but there's also a bunch of sugar and other chemicals in it. Gin and tonic life.

It's always best to check the can nutritional data. Many drinks that I previously assumed to be relatively less sweet still revealed similar amounts of sugar to Coke. Recommendations to stick to aqua cola: after enough time, you acquire the ability to tell apart different brands/provenances of water and it also helps to reset your palate from the bombing it's regularly taking with large amounts of sugar and salt. And sometimes you just get lucky and live somewhere the tap water is safe and delicious.

What's your opinion on NA beer? Might be a good sub for Pepsi or coke with less sugar.

I love it, but I'm also allergic to it.

Diet coke is sugar free, so it's the least of the various evils if I can't get get an iced tea.

Fair enough! In that case I would just be worried about the acidity which you can combat with a straw or eating while you drink the beverage.

I love it, but I'm also allergic to it.

Hop allergy?

Wheat actually. Apparently some forms of arthritis can cause your body to see certain wheat proteins and start producing the antibodies that attack connective tissue.

These days I try to avoid anything with wheat as much as possible, and that goes double if I'm playing out. The small joints in my hands are one of the first things to stiffen up.

But most beers don't contain wheat? Are you allergic to barley as well?

Enough NA beers do that I won't risk it while performing.

Now, after a long day outside in the summer? You bet I'll sit down and read the label to find out.

General life update

Fall is really finally here in Baltimore and it’s put me in a reflective mood. As I posted about a few weeks ago, I’m feeling generally behind in life, but some things are starting to turn around while other things remain frustrating.

  1. Work. I’m currently a senior PhD student at Hopkins in Biology. On paper I have enough to graduate (first author publications, enough data to make a sufficient dissertation), but my committee and PIs won’t let me graduate for a variety of reasons. These all make sense: hostile administration means academic jobs are pretty hard to get right now, I have a federal fellowship so my funding is secured until Aug 2027, and a stronger publication record won’t hurt me at all. However, I’m getting pretty sick of my project, and of science in general. I don’t like how this job makes me feel on a day to day basis, or feel that the experiments I’m doing are really helping the world. I have two options going forward: coast until my funding runs out and spend my time and energy on other parts of my life + job searching, or buckle down and produce something I’m proud of in the next year. In either case, I need to start looking for industry jobs.

  2. Fitness. I just ran the Baltimore marathon this past Saturday in a 2:44. This beats my Boston time from earlier this year by about ~5:00, which I’m really happy with, considering the course is much harder. I closed in a 5:14 mile, meaning I had a lot left in the tank. This whole year has been a struggle with constant left foot injuries because of my increased weight: I’ve put on 15 pounds, mainly of muscle, in the past year from swimming, biking, and lifting, so I was really happy with this effort, even though it’s far off my PR. In 2026 I’m planning on focusing on almost solely strength and aerobic development (I.e. trying to get my volume to a consistent 15 hours a week, 3 of which will be in the gym) which I hope will lead to smashing my PRs later in that year and in 2027.

  3. Intellectual stuff. I passed my Spanish B2 fluency exam earlier this year, and am starting to work more seriously on Italian. Both languages are going well, especially Italian, in which I feel like I’m making rapid progress. The philosophy book club I run has got a couple of new, very enthusiastic and knowledgeable members, and we are currently doing a deep dive on Kant. I’ve also hit my reading goal of 52 books this year, and will probably end up reading around 60-70, which is pretty solid work. Substack blogging is going really well too, over 100 subs, and I’m putting out at least 2-3 pieces a month. This category is going really well

  4. Finances. Recently read Your Money or Your Life and have been trying to figure out how to save more money and become more financially independent. I make about $52k a year, and was able to save even when I made $35k/year, so I should theoretically be able to have a near 30% savings rate. Unfortunately inflation (real and lifestyle) has increased my CoTL quite a bit, and now at my best all I can seem to manage is around a 15% savings rate. Part of the solution to this is just to earn more (i.e. get my PhD) but there’s also significant expenses that I can cut involving travel and running related expenses (mainly PT). I’m also trying to be wiser with investment decisions, splitting 0.33/0.33/0.33 between individual stocks, index funds and bonds. Long term my parents have told me they will help me buy a house (they contributed a lot to my sister’s apartment in London), so that’s a big relief in some ways.

  5. Dating. I’ve kind of given up on this right now. I’m luckily out of my bad living situation with the Don Juan roommate, so I’m not having my lack of dating success rubbed in my face at all times anymore which is huge. Thought there might be something with a med student who I did swim club with, but when I cooked lunch for her one on one, it quickly became pretty clear she wasn’t interested in me. Dating apps don’t do anything other than lower my self esteem, although I did recently change my location to Santiago, Chile and have been absolutely inundated with matches. A lot of them are quite attractive, but they’re all like 5’ 0” which is a little too short for me. This is probably something that will go better when I am more financially successful, but continues to be frustrating.

  6. Spirituality. I still haven’t been to mass since February (other than for a wedding), and have almost certainly decided that Christianity isn’t for me. Part of this is emotional: I don’t feel anything anymore when I go to church or receive the Eucharist, and prayer and other Catholic teachings have had very little effect on curing me of my vices (pornography, masturbation, jealously, anger, etc.). Part of it is social: aside from godfather, his marxist catholic friend from Chicago, and my former roommate, I’ve found that most of the people I met at church to be not the kind of people that I enjoyed spending time with. However, I think by far the biggest issue is philosophical: I think the antropocentrism of Christianity is deeply poisonous to our interactions with the natural world, the required submission to church dogma to be grating, and the ideas of heaven and hell to cheapen the existence we have here on earth right now. There are parts of Christianity I really like, but I just can’t get over these disagreements. It’s just really not for me. I would like to find another organized religion that works better for me, but I don’t think this is likely, as most Neo-pagans are a bunch of larpers, Buddhism and Hinduism are too foreign, and Islam is not appealing at all to me.

  7. Health. I am sleeping through the night again, my sugar cravings are gone, and I’m feeling much more energetic overall. My weight is stable at 165 pounds, and I’m starting to see more visible muscle in my abs and arms. Two key changes were better sleep hygiene (no electronics between 9 and 7 am except for social reasons, no working in my bed, consistent wind-down routine), and rebalancing my macros away from carbs and towards fats on days without intense exercise. Keto is a pretty stupid diet, but that doesn’t mean eating only carbs is good either. Because I was working out so much I thought I would be fine mainly living off starches, vegetables and fruits, but because of this carb dependency my blood sugar would crash in the middle of the night and I would always wake up starving. I’ve added much more fat to my diet, replacing oatmeal with avocado toast for breakfast, and all carb snacks with nuts on days that I don’t exercise hard. I’m still eating carbs, especially on days where I do a couple hours of training, but it’s more balanced than before. This has fixed pretty much all my sleeping problems and made me much more energetic throughout the day.

  8. Emotions. This year marks ten years since my last high school cross country season. That was a fantastic season for me: I dropped 70 seconds in the 3 mile and managed to be All-State in Illinois despite being at the back of the varsity pack the year before, and the camaraderie we had as a team was something I’ve never experienced otherwise, before or since. I’m feeling a lot of nostalgia for that time, and regret that I didn’t work to keep up those friendships in college and beyond. However, beyond a certain point, these things aren’t really helpful to feel anymore, and I’m wondering how I should act on them. Reach out to these old friends and try and organize a reunion? Try harder to find an adult cross-country team?

Long post, but just want to get all this out there in a place where people usually have something valuable to say. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

I enjoy the way in which you divided up the different aspects of your life in this recap. Seems like a useful way to evaluate. Sometimes when I'm trying to get a handle on things, I refer back to this Medium article from years ago, in which the author made a radar graph you could fill in to see where you should try to make improvements.

https://chengeer.medium.com/wheel-of-life-a-self-assessment-tool-to-find-out-what-is-not-working-in-your-life-8af1faadafa5

It's not really scientific or anything, just a quick and dirty visualization tool.

You have accomplished a lot of great things already for your age, so I hope you feel good about that. I have known people that you remind me of, and here in middle age they are pretty much all living fantastic lives. This isn't meant to apply pressure at all - just that from the outside I feel like you have a great approach, and things are likely to work out for you.

On the religion piece, I feel your frustration. Mainstream Christianity is not in a good place at the moment.

I’ve found my own niche of weird Christians that have a focus on contemplative prayer, mysticism, and generally are much more open minded, which has been a beautiful thing. It takes some doing though, and you have to be willing to I suppose moderate what you say around “normie” Christians. I’ve found the juice of regular church attendance worth the squeeze, however. Very much so.

As for dating I’ll echo the recommendation I always do - partner dance! I found my fiancé doing west coast swing. It’s an extremely Lindy way to meet women.

I was swing dancing in 2024 a lot! It's time to go back I think. Nice Lindy pun also!

Thanks for the other recommendations. I really wish I could bring myself to go back to church.

Glad to hear your philosophy reading group is going well! They're not easy to run, currently working on rescheduling mine (we went too deep into Deleuze and scared most of the members off).

No reading group is easy to run. People continually flake, don't do the reading, or try and take over the group to the kind of reading they want to do (despite a terrible track record of attendance). That said, it's been easier since I established a solid core group of 2-3 other people. I know they will do the readings and participate, so the other crap is just noise.

Yeah the solid core is really important - mine shrunk to two of us, hence trying to return to the "group" aspect. My guys in the group are all great but pretty hard to get onboard regularly. The really impossible thing is coordinating time zones, if it wasn't for that we'd have a great core, but as it is you're basically forced to choose between Californians and Euros.

I just ran the Baltimore marathon this past Saturday in a 2:44. This beats my Boston time from earlier this year by about ~5:00, which I’m really happy with, considering the course is much harder. I closed in a 5:14 mile, meaning I had a lot left in the tank.

Well I'm fucking jealous!

Good job bro.

Thanks dude!

You aren't too far from me, if you ever want to try a fun sport come down to the northern Virginia area and play some underwater hockey with me.

I may take you up on this (and grab my friend from Reston to join)!

Be aware that this page shows organizer and co-organizer, so you are basically doxxing yourself here. You might be better off sending a DM.

Ya realized that last night and didn't care. Now it's morning and I kinda care again.

Cool, thought it was worth warning you.

I just ran the Baltimore marathon this past Saturday in a 2:44

Damn dude, that's awesome. Congratulations.

Thanks! I'm really happy with it!

Mottizens that lift, how do you deal with calluses?

Dremel

I don't?

What do you mean "deal with"? Mine just kind of sit there and exist.

Moisturize to keep them from becoming majorly problematic. Periodically file (or just manually pick) them down to keep them under control.

For barbells I don't really get any problems with calluses or torn skin. Perhaps things would be different if I did jerky lifts, but I don't.

I'm a barbarian. I just do kettlebells nonstop, and the calluses tend to keep worn to a constant state, or rip off. Sometimes I take a week off and they tend to start flaking off on their own. I've never done anything special to avoid or baby them. If they rip off, they are usually healed enough in 2 or 3 days to get back at it. Never seen what the big deal is. Sometimes they might be slightly sore after an especially difficult workout, but sitting here thinking about how much discomfort or pain they cause me just existing, I'm coming up blank.

Probably the only part of calluses that have sometimes been a problem is when an especially gnarly one is in just the wrong place to rub my dick wrong when I'm taking care of myself. But sometimes it doesn't hurt to change up your grip.

Depends on the activity. For barbells, generally just suck it up, it won't hurt for that long. For kettlebells, climbing, or rowing I'll use tape to cover them up if they tear or are about to tear.

When they tear, use cuticle scissors or nail clippers to trim the dead skin and then sand down the rough edges to keep it from getting worse and tearing off additional live skin. Super glue can work well to secure a flapping bit of skin for day to day.

Also obviously be careful as it's an open wound, when I'm dealing with calluses I'm careful to have gloves for day to day use when handling dirty stuff.

For barbells, generally just suck it up, it won't hurt for that long.

In my case, I can do a palm grip if I sand my calluses down, but if the bar slips down for a rep or two to the place where the fingers join the palm, I can no longer execute a proper palm grip, as pinching the "ball of the hand" with the bar becomes painful.

Just to add, I started washing my hands with cold water wherever possible and that really reduced my torn calluses.

I have an old pair of leather work gloves that have become fingerless lifting gloves when I have a badly torn callus. I get mocked for wearing "sissy mittens" on occasion, but it gets me through the workout.

Was just going to recommend weightlifting gloves but suspected this type of reaction at gyms. In Japan there's not a lot of (open) mockery and you see people using gloves all the time. I myself do not but then I probably don't lift nearly enough to get serious callouses.

The trick is to just lift more than the people mocking you.

I typically use leather teardrop pattern straps for anything that's grip limited. Hook grip for competition lifts.

The trick is to just lift more than the people mocking you.

I would typically silently judge someone using gloves. That being said, if you're lifting enough (800 solid-ass pounds), chalk, gloves, straps, and mixed grip all combined somehow does not look goofy at all.

I just use straps for deadlifts, and many other pulling motions, for that matter. Don't at me; I ain't competing. I set up my grip "in the fold", between the bottom pads of the fingers and the palm. The calluses never really get all that bad.

Just how heavy are you lifting? I don't really mind if people use straps or gloves but I just don't understand and interpret it as performative most of the time, since I've had zero issues and lift more than most people in the gyms I've been in and accessory usage doesn't seem to correlate much with with weight lifted.

Perhaps it's a hand size thing? I have large hands.

Deadlift is four plates, not yet five. At my size, that's not bad, but yeah, I'm not looking to set world records. In my current gym, at the time that I go, I'm definitely lifting more than everyone else, but that's more of a function of the current gym/time. I've certainly had prior gyms with legitimately huge dudes putting up ridiculous numbers.

It's not that I couldn't manage without them. It's just annoying, and it's not the main point of doing those things. If you're competing, then yeah, it's part of the deal to deal with the annoyance. Apparently, even for top competitors, there's a relatively definable "class" of "grip-limited deadlifters". I remember the Stronger By Science folks talking about this. It's apparently an annoyance to their sensibilities, too. They said that they would like to just have a category for deadlifts with straps; just take the grip out of it and see what people's major muscles can do. Nobody likes a hook grip.

Not sure on hand size. My current gym has one Rogue bar (I can't remember which exact model) that I swear feels noticeably thinner than the others (I haven't yet taken a micrometer to the gym). I prefer it for deadlifting, but anti-prefer it for bench/OHP.

It's strange. I've lifted similar amounts but I've never even thought about grip strength being the limiting factor, like it's never crossed my mind as a concern. I've never specifically trained grip strength either.

I wonder why there are such big differences in seemingly innate grip strength that has only limited correlation with overall strength.

Hand size is a lot of it.

Generally just leave them be.

If they are so thick they are painful, have a distinct ridge, or in danger of tearing remove them. Typically using a 1-3 blade safety razor and very carefully shaving them down. It's easier than it sounds. Don't go too deep. Going over the residual with your wife's pumice stone can help the transition, just be prepared to answer some questions if she sees you using it.

your wife's pumice stone

Hey, that's sexist! I have my own nano glass foot file, thank you very much.

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