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Wellness Wednesday for December 3, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I'm looking for advice in terms of experience, literature, etc on switching careers due to an unsustainable lack of work-life balance (WLB) in my current job.

Overview and background of my current job:

  • Role: I work as an engineer at a cutthroat manufacturing company and am responsible for multiple machines' performances and operability, i.e., if they aren't working properly then I'm responsible for fixing it. The industry and factory I'm at are notoriously difficult for WLB (which can be seen by the amount of divorcees, overweight, and unhappy people).
  • Hours: I'm technically on call 24/7/365 except when on PTO and generally answer a text or call on weekends. Sometimes things are bad and I work 70-hour weeks, other times things are good and I only work 40-hour weeks.
  • Stress: I get stressed easily because some problems are not easily solvable and there are very few people at the company who can help. It's basically just me, three technicians spread across the week, and another engineer at a different site who have the expertise and knowledge. I'm often on edge scared that something will break or my week or weekend free time will be ruined because of work. My romantic relationship is strained because of the recent craziness in my job.
  • Support/help: I don't get much support from my boss or other engineers. We have a new hire in the group who I was hoping would take over some of my machines, but my boss is positioning him elsewhere despite me making it clear that I'm burnt out and overwhelmed.
  • Pay: My salary is $100k with a yearly bonus of 10-20%, dependent on company performance
  • Fulfillment: I am very fulfilled with my job when the stress is low. I get a lot of autonomy, work on cutting edge tech and interesting projects, and work with very smart people.

Questions for my fellow Mottizens:

  • General thoughts on my situation and career?
  • Have you ever taken a large pay cut for better WLB? Was it worth it?
  • Is working fully remote worth it? I enjoy traveling and remote work seems extremely attractive for visiting family and friends in other cities on a regular basis.
  • The job market appears to be atrocious right now. While I would definitely wait to quit my current role until I had an offer secured, would it be better to weather out the storm in case of layoffs happening soon after I joined another company?

Life Status: We're so Back

A while ago I posted that my startup failed. To cut a really long story short, everyone we talked to said no to fundraising. One of my partners went on a longshot campaign to change one specific investor's mind. Against all common sense and expectations it worked. The old dream is back from the dead.

Soon I'll be in San Fransisco for another accelerator. Feels like going to college twice tbh. Down to meet up with any motte bros. Would love advice, lore, suggestions on things to do and places to go. I'll be there for a few months.

I posted earlier about my plan to get a gf via lifting and getting involved in the rave scene. I had a buddy that heard my plan and decided to do it with me, hitting pretty much the same gym days and events. He recently got a girl. I'm taking it as validation that this is a good plan and I just need to stick with it.

I've barely gained any weight, but my body is looking much more defined. I don't feel dissapointed anymore when I look in the mirror. There was a party where all the guys ended up competing doing stuff like pullups, wrestling, etc. I put in a good showing and it felt like all those gym hours were worthwhile.

Advice time:

My squat's stalled around 240 lbs. I've been getting pain in my lower back. I think it's due to me arching it to avoid bending forward. I've tried consciously trying to not, but it hasn't worked. Any tips/tricks/exercises?

Thinking of doing a short run of testosterone while in San Fran to increase my body mass. The idea would be a one time intervention rather that a lifetime thing. Any experiences, thoughts, guidance?

Help. My ass and thighs are getting too powerful and I can't fit into 90% of my jeans anymore. What do?

In the winter months it gets dark here no later than 4:30. My girlfriend was feeling the pinch of seasonal affective disorder more than I was, so we bought a sun lamp. It's about the size of an iPad and sits on your desk.

I cannot believe how effective it is: the impact is (if you'll pardon the pun) night and day. I try to sit in front of it for as little as half an hour (longer if possible) and it makes a huge difference to my mood, energy levels and focus. Well worth the expense if you find yourself feeling run down in winter. Will update with the specific model tomorrow morning.

So I’m waking up in the middle of the night at 3:30 am again. This is happening almost every night now, and I’m starting to get quite frustrated, as it takes an hour plus to get back to sleep and has significantly reduced my restfulness, leaving me tired and stressed for the next day. I have a couple thoughts on how to maybe tackle this.

  1. Eat more food, but eat most it earlier in the day. This waking up might be hunger related, suggesting I’m maybe under fueling.

  2. Reduce screen time across the board, but cut it out completely for an hour on either side of bed.

  3. Try and reduce stress throughout my day overall. This means lowering expectations for myself, but also actually doing all the work I set out to do.

Any other ideas?

You could try a magnesium supplement shortly before bed. Don't overdo it though, maybe twice a week at most.

I hope this isn't an obvious suggestion but have you tried cutting out caffeine? I once went a month without drinking any caffeinated beverages: the first week was a challenge, but after that I felt no less alert and focused during the day, and slept like a baby through the night.

Avoid drinking anything an hour before bed, just in case you feel the urge to pee during the night.

I don't drink caffeine at all. It makes me shake. I'll try the other two!

Are you getting anywhere close to enough sunlight? I frequently have the same problem at this time of year and it gets worse when it's overcast.

This could be it. I do run in the morning but otherwise I am trapped at work all day.

THC gummies before bed, the Indica ones.

Wear socks and put the temperature quite low! You could also experiment with weighted blankets, I've heard good things.

Lower temperatures make sleep easier, but wouldn't temperatures drop later in the night? Unless he's got his A/C on a timer.

All those things should help.

Also: read the book I recommended to you the last time you worried about your sleep on the forum. This is Natto. It will likely help you. It helped me a lot.

Just bought! Will report back with results.

You might also consider adjusting the temperature at night in your bedroom if it isn't already in the 60°-65° F range. It sounds cold (and it is, so you'll need plenty of blankets) but since I've done this I wake up less frequently during the night, fall back asleep more quickly when I do wake up and have all but cured my early-morning insomnia. I don't have any high-quality sources for this. I just picked it up from a random youtube video.

I think I finally figured out deadlifts. I just wasn't bracing my core. Now there's basically no lower back stress. Glad I figured that out before I put too much more weight on the barbell...

Yesterday, I decided to walk at an incline on the treadmill while I self-consciously consumed Japanese comprehensible input, targeting a 150 BPM. About an hour and 15 minutes in, I hit "the wall" that I usually feel when exerting myself more while running: everything felt more difficult, I started having to exhale using my mouth despite my BPM remaining the same, and I kept looking at how much time I had left on the videos I had selected. I had thought I was indefatigable while walking, but evidently not. Is there utility in training walking for a long time like that? And is there utility in persisting past "the wall"? Is "the wall" just glycogen depletion, or something else?

The wall is glycogen depletion. Either a fueling issue or an ability to burn fat issue. You shouldn’t be hitting the wall that early if you are eating normally which suggest to me that you are probably going too hard (150 bpm could be a threshold effort) or are heavily glycolytic.

I just did some more reading. Dehydration might have had something to do with it. I didn't bring my water, but I'll definitely remember it next time. Thanks for the answer. But what about my other question? Do you ever train past "the wall"?

Edit: huh, seems like most people describe "the wall" as being more severe, like your legs give out or something. That wasn't how it was for me, it just felt slightly more difficult to continue. I think I just need to train more

Sometimes pros will train carb depleted but usually that’s easy running. It’s pretty bad to train past the wall because it increases recovery time significantly, meaning you get less training in in a week.

If you can afford it, I would recommend a vo2 Max test or lactate test. I can help you analyze it if you do it. This will tell you what your substrate utilization actually is at various intensities.

I think I asked this question here a couple of years ago, but at the time I didn't act on the information I received and I can't find the thread now.

I'm looking for good loungewear/use-at-home pants (for men) without synthetics/microplastics. They need to be comfy. And the price should match the quality/longevity of the item. If the price is high, fine, but I want value for money. Bonus points if it doesn't make you look like a huge slob if you wear them for a quick trip to the nearest store.

Lucky makes some 100% cotton jeans. I forget which series I have, but they are soft enough to be comfortable around the house (but not as soft as premium jeans with some elastane, which you wish to avoid) and tough enough to be more durable and long-lasting than premium jeans (but not tough enough to survive a bunch of hard outdoors work). They certainly look good enough to make trips to stores or dinner.

I think I asked this question here a couple of years ago

I think I answered this question before. Both of these are good quality, made in USA, I've owned the products for a while with no issues.

Los Angeles Apparel makes a lot of good stuff. These are my preferred casual pants. They get stretch from the weave rather than from spandex. They also make good thick sweatpants, if anything they are too thick to be comfortable in some cases.

Alternatively, American Giant makes superlatively good, if comparatively overpriced sweatpants.