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PaperclipPerfector  8mo ago (text post)   35792 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of November 11, 2024

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This week in the dankest timeline: Satire publication The Onion buys Alex Jones’ Infowars at auction with Sandy Hook families’ backing.

Yes, a site for unbelievable comedy playing to the biases of the gullible is now owned by the Onion. It appears they intend to use it to promote gun control. I can only hope this is presented in the style of existing InfoWars schlock.

While I deeply disagree with gun control activists, I’d much rather the site goes to them than to Jones’s merchandising companies. One of them was apparently the runner-up. But it’s alright for Jones: he’s allegedly on the short list for Trump’s next press secretary. Wait, no, that was last year. It was also only ever going to be a temporary fling, but that’s a given for the position.

I suppose Jones will have to keep shouting at globalists under a different brand.

At a court hearing Thursday afternoon in Houston, the trustee who oversaw the auction, Christopher Murray, acknowledged that The Onion did not have the highest bid but said it was a better deal overall because some of the Sandy Hook families agreed to forgo a portion of the sale proceeds to pay Jones’ other creditors. First United American Companies, a business affiliated with one of Jones’ product-selling websites, submitted the only other bid. The trustee said he could not put a dollar amount on The Onion’s bid.

...

“This was a auction that didn’t happen, with a bid that was lower, with money that wasn’t real,” he said.

Is this legal? At this point it's not an "auction" anymore but a free handing over of the property to whatever grift the trustee desires. In the previous thread on this, I predicted that Jones's supporters would be able to snatch up the assets at a relatively cheap price, but I never guessed that Jones's enemy would win, not by outbidding, but by manipulating the process.

Of course this AP fake news drivel says "the judge in Jones’ bankruptcy case said Thursday that he had concerns about how the auction was conducted" but didn't post the name of the judge or what the judge actually said. I'll follow up on this but fuck AP. The judge had a video call with the interested parties and possibly the AP reporter and others where invited to listen. I'm not sure if a recording is available.

As a side note, I remember the onion being much more relevant sometime in the past. I wonder if its decline is related to it becoming just another mouthpiece for the democrat agenda, or if I'm totally off track.

I wonder if its decline is related to it becoming just another mouthpiece for the democrat agenda, or if I'm totally off track.

The bigger issue is that the barrier to entry is so low publishing online now that theonion.com doesn't hold much value.

The pay for writers isn't that great either afaik.

So a talented funny person is better off doing their own thing. YouTube used to be easy to monetize. I think it's more streaming and podcasts now.

The bigger issue is that the barrier to entry is so low publishing online now that theonion.com doesn't hold much value.

So why did the Babylon Bee manage to overtake them in terms of relevancy?

So why did the Babylon Bee manage to overtake them in terms of relevancy?

They are still funny. The Onion will never have the balls to publish

https://babylonbee.com/news/to-protest-coronation-of-aragorn-orcs-announce-sex-strike

To Protest Coronation Of Aragorn, Orcs Announce Sex Strike GORGOROTH, MORDOR — Orcs have banded together in protest of King Aragorn following his coronation in Minas Tirith, announcing a sex strike until he is dethroned.

"As an orc, my bodily autonomy matters and this is my way to exercise sovereignty over an Aragorn kingdom, you filthy man-flesh," said Stavruk, an orc fluent in common speech.

Screeches of "No more sex!", "My body, my choice!", and "Ovaries Before Brovaries!" have spread throughout the land of Mordor like wildfire, with some even reporting the sex strike spreading to orcs as far north as Dol Guldur.

What about that do you find funny? (I'm not even certain that I get it.)

It's satirising the circumstance that the ones engaging in the protest are the outgroup of the ones being protested, and they essentially protest by performative self-sabotage. Surely Aragorn is happy to see the Orcs not getting any action; surely Trump and his supporters are likewise happy if hardcore progressives voluntarily make themselves miserable.

If you are hung up on the mean-spirited orc comparison, that joke works equally well in reverse - "Gondorians protest rise of Sauron by refusing to have sex", or even "Jews protest election of Hitler (...)". If I were in charge of the Onion, I would have considered running the latter: it still insults the "right" target, while also making a point of how ridiculous the protest movement is.

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