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PaperclipPerfector  5d ago (text post)   1936 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for May 30, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Random question?

How big of a social faux pas is it to wear football shoes off the turf? I haven't played football in a decade, but I was secondhand shopping and saw an Adidas pair I really liked, with modest cleats as they go.

My best friend insists it's not right to wear those as casual footwear. What about at the gym, as spare gym shoes? I just think they're neat :(

I'm going to go against the grain and say I don't think it's a faux pas at all. I don't give a shit if someone wears cleats off the field, and to be honest I would think less of anyone who does.

Ok let's do a quiz. In which of the following scenarios would you either judge someone as having committed a faux pas, or wouldn't immediately think less of someone who did judge:

  1. Man wearing hat inside someone else's house (ok cap, it doesn't have to be a bowler or whatever)

  2. Girl applying make-up on a public train full of people.

  3. Hawking a big throaty loogie and setting it free via a big spit off the train platform while waiting for the train.

  4. wearing white socks with a dark suit

  5. woman going bra-less at her friend's wedding

  6. walking barefoot in a mall (in a landlocked town)

  7. bikini top in a restaurant (enclosed)

  8. striped necktie with plaid shirt

  9. speaking while chewing food

  10. laughing after your partner's orgasm

These are in no order. Your answers will be entered into your permanent record.

Great question! I try not to judge people for less than a pattern of bad behaviour (try being the operative word) so on principle I agree with @Tree, but as far as personal preference goes I'd say:

  1. Get that thing off your head dickbag, how is everyone else supposed to know I have the best hair if they can't see your hair?

  2. I actually like this.

  3. I do not care for any kind of spitting and will struggle to maintain my values in the face of it.

  4. No judgement, and I am incredibly unlikely to even notice.

  5. No judgement, unlikely to notice.

  6. Don't visit Australia if this bothers you. It's not just a beach thing either. That said if you plan on walking on my living room carpet at any point before your next shower you will wear shoes or else.

  7. I don't know if I would judge her negatively, it depends on the situation (and her looks of course, attractive people get away with more), but I would definitely consider it a faux pas.

  8. No judgement, once again unlikely to notice. If someone pointed it out to me I'd probably consider it a mistake.

  9. Close your mouth you grot.

  10. Either great or the worst thing that could possibly have happened. It depends on how confident you are in yourself and the relationship. I've had it enhance the relationship and ruin my life (for a few days).

Fake edit: I saw your comment about 10 down below and it reminds me of one time it happened to me. I dated a girl who was a gamer and one weekend we were in her lounge room chatting. We got to the topic of sex, and she insisted she could make any video game sexy, so I challenged her to make Tetris sexy. So she did a giggling striptease while doo-dooing the Tetris music, which was hilariously dorky but still surprisingly sexy. Events proceeded and we were just about to start the main event when she froze and said "Is that the front door?" I looked up in alarm to see her cat bolt into the lounge room, right at me, and I flinched, thrusting forward and immediately losing it while making a noise halfway between fright and elation - a sort of "Huweeeee!" We were both in fits of laughter as we scrambled for her bedroom just before the rest of the household got through the door.

That's talking about a woman laughing at me of course - I would never laugh at a woman after she orgasmed. I assume.

Good story. Mine:

Okinawan girl. Twenty maybe 21. Probably 20. I was around 34 (Sue me, cancel me, etc.) She was gorgeous, funny, got my humor or at least laughed convincingly, and had a really nice, um, well, body. Like she could have been on the beer posters holding up a frosty glass wearing a bikini, that type. Really proficient at English. This would've been my 3rd or so year in Japan. The image of her returning from the washroom standing in my bedroom doorway in a state of complete undress is burned pleasantly into my memory. If my memories eventually all fall away, I hope that's one of the last ones. But let's not get tawdry. Anyway eventually there we were, an hour or two later, and as I reached that sublime moment I looked up and there she was poised over me laughing. "I've seen your happy face," she said. I felt as if this were an admission of larceny.

I saw her again a few more times until I didn't. She had a guy in the US military back home (whenever he was in port I guess). I always completely ignored any declaration of boyfriend back in the day as simple noise from mouth and utterly irrelevant (unless I knew him of course). But it complicated matters. Point being I never did know how to process that moment. It seemed, I don't know, disrespectful somehow. I will admit I no longer hold women to the standard I once may have (specifically: Well I'd never do that to you type reactiveness) but it was weird.

Edit: Linked image is obviously dated, but roughly from the same era.

Lol God damn yeah I imagine I'd feel pretty perplexed in that situation too. Plus it's harder to laugh at yourself when you are one hour in than when you are one second in.

(1) Slightly negative (weird, but not off-putting) (Insert Tim Pool joke here.)

(2) Neutral

(3) Negative (off-putting)

(4) Neutral

(5) Negative (Can't women wear "pasties" so that their nipples don't show through their shirts? If so, failing to wear pasties, so that people can tell you aren't wearing a brassiere, can be interpreted as intentionally being obnoxious. But I'm far from an expert on this topic.)

(6) Negative (is this person insane?)

(7) Negative (very weird)

(8) Neutral

(9) Negative (off-putting)

(10) I'm not qualified to opine on this topic.

The correct liberal answer is that none of those rise to the level of an acknowledgeable offense. Politeness and stoicism requires they be ignored and left uncommented. And I actually like you more if you do 5,6,7 or 10.

(dossier updated)

Definitely not 1; if I’m wearing a hat, it’s almost certainly because my hair looks like shit. The real faux pas would be letting everyone see my bad hair day. 2 is totally fine by me as well.

I’m torn about 3, because on the one hand I recognize that this one will probably be the most popular answer, but on the other hand I sometimes have a pretty bad post-nasal drip; I always endeavor to spit somewhere where people won’t see/hear it and get grossed out, but occasionally that’s unrealistic. Spitting is definitely my most slovenly behavior.

Neither 4 nor 8 is a faux pas as far as I’m concerned, because neither is going to actually make anybody uncomfortable. They just look bad visually, and if someone is trying to look good — which, if he’s wearing a suit or a tie in the first place, he obviously is — he should avoid doing things that detract from that goal.

5, 6, and 7 are obvious [insert whatever is the correct plural of faux pas] to me. 9 is a spectrum, where it depends on what kind of food you’re chewing, how adroit you are at manipulating it in your mouth such that it’s not visible to your interlocutor and doesn’t significantly impact your diction, etc. If it’s a faux pas it’s generally a minor one.

With 10, I would need more context to judge. Maybe it’s just because I haven’t gotten laid in a while and my instincts about the finer points of the etiquette have atrophied.

only if it's not a "fashion" hat (so yes for a beanie), yes, yes, no, depends on dress code, yes, yes, no, no, no

Interesting, I would expect 10 to have yesses all around. Perhaps I should find more humor in coitus.

I would say #3, 6, 7, 9, and 10. 5 is a maybe depending on if it isn't really apparent versus "wow I can see everything even with her clothes on". Of the ones I mentioned, #3, 7, 9 and 10 are things that would bother me personally, while #6 is one that doesn't bother me but I don't find it overly judgemental if someone else doesn't think it's cool.

I didn't know I had a permanent record, lol.

My prejudice against psychiatrists deepens...

:(

If you mean what we call studded football boots then the only time I can imagine someone wearing them off the pitch would be if they were under 12 and so excited about their amazing new boots that they couldn't wait until football practice.

The main reason nobody wears football boots off the pitch is that the studs are hard and provide zero grip and maximum damage on hard floors. I'd expect you would get an immediate request to change them if you wore them at a gym. It's not a matter of bad taste, visually they're no worse than most trainers, they're just anti-practical. It's like wearing golf spikes at a bowling alley.

I wouldn't call it a faux pas, in the way that wearing a football jersey to a formal dinner is rude and shows a lack of taste.

If I saw someone wearing cleats outside of a sporting competition, I'd consider a mild sign of some kind of mental retardation.

So like, what kind of cleats are we talking about here?

You know, I'm something of a retard myself.

I've attached a picture, they're Adidas Speedportal 3s.

https://ibb.co/C51sDWjy

When I was last in the market for soccer shoes in the US probably ten years ago, they came in three varieties: cleats (which are what you see professionals playing in with hard plastic knobs), turf shoes (which look like yours with heavily textured rubber outsoles), and indoor (flat rubber soles for playing on hard gym surfaces). The indoor shoes would be completely reasonable as casual street shoes, and I've definitely seen similar styles sold as such. Turf shoes are a bit of an odd choice, and you might track more mud indoors with them, but I suppose they would work tolerably. IMO, try to get indoor shoes at least, but it looks like such a variant exists for the model you pictured.

Sambas were originally designed as indoor soccer shoes, and they've reached the point of acceptability for casual wear that publications like GQ suggest you can wear them with a suit (not recommended, as most suit pants aren't cut like jeans). It does appear that what he's looking for is available in an indoor model, but one thing I'd caution is that shoes made for soccer might not be the best for wearing around town. I definitely wouldn't wear cleats around town, as, aside from all of the other concerns, they'd be damn uncomfortable.

I mean they look small so someone might not notice... But if they did see, or more likely hear, the cleats, yeah, you're gonna look retarded. I don't mean that in the jocular way, like the way Mrs. FiveHour would tell me "don't wear Pit Vipers to the restaurant you'll look retarded" but in the way that I'd feel seeing someone wear a helmet or something.

I guess in answer to original question it's essentially a complete faux pas.

Cleats are very slippery on hard surfaces, that would be my concern. I wonder if you could grind the cleats down and glue a rubber sole onto them without killing the look?

That would be the first time I'd have tried such a thing. I'll keep it in mind, but so far I don't think I've had any actual problems wearing them even indoors.

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