site banner
PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   2286 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for June 27, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

1
Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I spend more time than average in fast food subreddits. I have just been tickled pink by one recently submitted to /r/jerseymikes. For those who don't want to click through, it's a meme image of the ham they slice for their sandwiches with the following text:

"Is that ham processed? If it's processed, I don't want it".

Ma'am, that is an eleven-pound whole slab of deli ham. It has no bones, fat, or connective tissue. It is an amalgamation of the meat from several pigs, emulsified, liquified, strained, and ultimately inexorably joined into an unholy meat obelisk. Goad had no hand in the creation of this abhorrence. The fact that this ham monolith exists proves that God is either impotent to alter His universe or ignorant of the horrors taking place in His kingdom. This prism of pork is more than deli meat. It is a physical declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order. It is hubris manifest.

We also have a lower sodium variety if you would prefer that.

In any case, I don't care about it being a loogie in the face of the Creator or an affront to my GP when looking at my blood pressure. I'm very opinionated about what makes a good sandwich, and I think Jersey Mike's absolutely crushes the nationwide competition. I still recall vividly my first taste of a true Italian (complete with prosciutto!) from Lenny's in the Memphis airport 20 years ago that changed my life. That place is now a shadow of its former self, but it's interesting how times have changed. These places couldn't even survive in ideal locations in the southeast back when I was a Subway sandwich artist and now they're thriving. Awesome, because my palate was built for thin ham.

(Side note - the humorous caption above is in fact mostly incorrect for at least Boar's Head. Their process involves using whole pieces of meat but forming them through force as opposed to ultra heavy processing.)

Quizno’s deserved a better fate.

Any Culver’s drama??

None that I know of, but the locations nearest to me are a drive. It's like a burger CFA in my opinion. The kid's burgers are the same size as their normal ones so if you're looking to save some $ that's the play.

Jersey Mike's is by far the best chain sandwich I've found!

I'll take a Jersey Mike's over most of the other sub shops, especially the execrable Subway.

But, much like @FiveHourMarathon, I identify as a Wawa Hypernationalist. When one factors in value in calories-per-dollar, Wawa is even more of the clear choice.

Now, if we're talking about ultra-premium sandwiches from traditional Italian joints, we have to confront the truth that the meats are secondary for overall quality to the bread itself and the freshness of the veggies, red wine vinegar, and olive oil. Tony Soprano ate his "gabagool" raw, or dipped directly into a mustard jar. Tony Soprano was a trash goblin from New Jersey who lived a caricature of his own life. This is not who you model your sandwich rubric on.

The great advantage of any given Wawa food item is it's situation within the context of the entire Wawa menu. At 2am drunk on the boardwalk with your friends, somebody wants coffee, somebody wants cigarettes, somebody wants a sandwich, somebody wants a burrito. You all go to Wawa.

I've noticed the quality at my local jersey Mike's has declined precipitously since the PE buyout. I've basically abandoned the place.

Which is a shame as they used to send us dozens of BOGO coupons that made them fairly affordable.

It's been a pretty short time since the buyout relatively speaking, but that's a bummer.

For anyone with the app, I believe the code jmmissesyou is an evergreen code for $2 off a regular.

It could just be our location for whatever reason, but I have very little reason to keep going there after two mediocre sandwiches in a row.

These types of oddly existential/cosmic horror-laced memes are basically 90% of the videos on burialgoods' channel. Pretty sure he has actually done a voiceover of the processed ham meme at one point.

Jimmy John's has superior cold sandos to Jersey Mikes, but no one can top the Big Kahuna cheesesteak from Mikey.

I hate to say it but I just disagree, and I say this as a big fan of JJs who will never turn one away.

I had the privilege of nerding out for an hour and a half with a dude driving a 720s whose vanity plate read frkyfst Both places use the same suppliers for meat, but the cuts are thicker at JJs, along with those for veggies. Their misfire on a bread redux, along with them now being on version 3 of the sublime kickin' ranch shows how much jacking of the formula the PE firm has been doing. The new toasted subs are absolutely hot garbage and destroy crew throughput. I have appreciated one or two of the LTOs though.

In comparison, I've found the bread at JMs to be more consistent and the veggies more generous. I have to beg the guys on the line at JJs to give me a reasonable number of tomatoes.

Jersey Mike's just doesn't have any subs that I actually enjoy, so JJ wins by default. However, Erbert & Gerbert's (a sub chain in Wisconsin and I believe other midwestern states) blows both out of the water. It's just a shame that I can't get them any more where I live.

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats