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Culture War Roundup for the week of March 30, 2026

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the people who make the stuff my civilisation needs to stay alive.

The point is you created a civilization that needs these things to stay alive, created this reliance and dependency, without putting in any effort to ensure its protection. The default human condition is lack. The default is for things to fall apart if they are not maintained.

If the response to that situation is to kiss up to Iran, then that is at least a rational response. If the response was to kiss up to the US to encourage us to protect your boats, that would be preferred. If the response was to come in with a super-awesome EU Fleet of anti-mine drones and clear the strait yourselves, that would be amazing.

But the situation you are in is that you have leaders decrying the US, who have no power of their own to fix the mess, but recognize the hazard of showing your belly to Iran. They can't have all three.

Now because I can tell it's sounding harsh, I really like Europe. In some part of my heart I view Europe as a museum. A precious, amazing museum. To the extent that Europe deviates from that perception, it creates dissonance. The rational part of my mind recognizes that Europe is not a museum, it is a whole continent of people who are obviously changing and doing commerce and living lives. But there is some level where I expect Paris, London, Berlin, Vienna to be static, for the French to be stereotypical, for the Italian coffee to be great. This is my own personal failing.

Europe has a privileged position in America. You're our foil. We didn't create a government in opposition to Chinese governance, or Ottoman governance. We were Europeans trying to improve upon European political theory. We think we succeeded, or at least wound up with something better than what was there in the 18th century.

But man, the World Wars followed by the Cold War did something to you guys and not all of it was good. It's a continent with self-righteous PTSD. I don't view Europe as "Just like America, but better in every way!" the way some Americans and Europeans do.

But then when I talk to Europeans for work, I often slip into a, "I"m trying to impress you guys because I'm not like other Americans! I'm cultured enough to realize that you think that my willingness to get up at 5 AM to talk to you guys as a form of unpaid overtime is ridiculous, so I will poke fun at my willing self-enslavement to my boss." I'm totally the younger sibling with something to prove, "Look, Ma! Be proud of me!"

My father was born on a US Airbase in West Germany. I hold our historical partnership in high regard and would find it worthwhile to give my life for you. I don't actually believe Europe would fight for the US if we were attacked directly, especially if someone with (R) next to their name was president at the time. I know you guys pulled through after 9/11 but I think that soured Europe on the concept as well.

I actually like your comment a lot but this part seems silly to me

The point is you created a civilization that needs these things to stay alive

  1. the modern world and industrial human society is a massive chain of interdependence. The USA is not autarkic either and depends on inputs from around the world. Definitely less than other nations, but it doesn't do it all in house either. China is grinding to accomplish this if that's your speed.

  2. up until the serendipitous invention of fracking/ability to exploit shale (quite recently too in the grand scheme of it all), the USA was also an oil importer, so getting smug about this seems really ignorant and unhelpful

America, under its president, just recently just pointed at Greenland, a territory held by an European government, and basically went "Me want! Me take!", up to hinting to using military force for taking it. There was zero provocation by Denmark - one of the most consistent and reliable American allies in Europe - or the rest of Europe that caused this to happen. It wasn't just Trump's idea, as soon as it was thrown out not only did the Republicans enthusiastically line up to support it but even some lib commentators went "well... it's not completely stupid..." and the Dem response can be described as lukewarm at best. It was justified as a continuation of Manifest Destiny and what have you. The whole of European establishment understandably went absolutely hogshit and then Trump's mind wandered off to the next thing and the Americans just dropped it for now and are now expecting Europe to line up for the next adventure like nothing had happened.

You don't need highfaluting theories about history and Cold War and 18th century or endless anecdotes about snooty snippy Europeans (with the main part of the anecdote often seeming to be some personal psychodrama by the American telling it with moderate to minimal actual European participation). You can just look at this one thing! It's not the only recent thing America has done to basically teabag Europe out of nowhere but it's pretty damn big! It's a very justified reason for Europe to distance itself from America!

Denmark decided to give Greenland the right to secede, and by all accounts they want to leave, which puts current NATO security arrangements regarding Greenland in doubt.

I'm sympathetic to Europeans being upset about how this has been handled (and especially to Greenland independence) but every complaint about US behavior seems to completely gloss over these facts.

The funny thing is, that had the US played their cards differently, it is very possible they could have just convinced the Greenlanders they had a better deal, and let them vote to secede as you suggest. However, the rhetoric from the Trump administration burned all the goodwill, and joining the States voluntarily is borderline impossible now.

The negotiator in chief really dropped the ball with this one.

And unlike the rest of Western Europe, Denmark wanted the EU countries to support opening the Strait of Hormuz.

Because Trump's blather about things the US wouldn't rule out, magnified into a threat by journalists with TDS, doesn't hold a candle to their actual interests.

Yeah the Greenland thing is also a great example of Europe going crazy.

Trump does something great for Venezuela, removing their criminal dictator and his foreign security, and a reporter asks if he is going to take Greenland, dredging up an old offhand comment He says it's not off the table, because for a negotiator nothing is ever off the table. Suddenly a huge freakout. America bought Louisiana off the French and it's a sign of our eternal love for each other. America says, half-seriously, "Hey Denmark, what would you demand in exchange for Greenland?" and the world loses it's mind.

And it's stupid. Europe sends dozens of guys to Greenland to protect it? If protecting Greenland was actually the goal there that is a pathetic show of force. But even Europe could probably dredge up more guys. So what was the point there? It's the Greta Thunberg of military actions. It's gluing yourself to a painting. You know America's not going to attack. Some Americans tried to explain why it's in the global interest to sell Greenland to America but the overreaction prevented any kind of rational conversation about this.

But all the people saying that America doesn't need Greenland because we'd be allowed to build and use any military base we wanted there anyways... they have been proved obviously wrong over the past month. And I was one of them.

You are straight up just lying. Trump was throwing out different ways to annex Greenland for weeks. He came up with all sorts of arguments, from how the inuits were poor and needed someone strong (not Denmark) to take care of them, to threatening invasion because a country with a weak military has no right to self determination. He ended up threatening tariffs, then backed down when it became clear that the European Union would not stop supporting Denmark.

I would call this sanewashing, but honestly this goes beyond that. You are actually just lying, because the truth would cause your standpoint to fall apart.

I thought the Greenland thing was a sign Vance should take over but in the end it was bluster. I'm not lying that the European response was literally more insane than the actions I took to be the death rattle of a decaying mind.

Trump had intermittently banged the "annex Greenland" drum from the start of inauguration on, as listed here. It wasn't just about January 2026. January 2026 was just the culmination. Whatever the case, if you're ostensibly allied to a country, you should probably not leave a door open to seizing their territory in any particular circumstance, it's like International Politics 101.

I'm not exactly sure what would have been a real "show of force" at Greenland. Denmark had and has actual forces in Greenland to deter a sudden seizure scenario, the others sent troops as a show of solidarity/tripwire.

The American action in Iran fully demonstrated that it was sensible from Europe to "over"react to the Greenland crisis, as it demonstrated that Trump has the full intent and capability to pull idiotic stunts without a regard for consequences with very little warning time.

I was writing a longer and more detailed reply to your other post but accidentally refreshed the page. Will try and get back to it. But you have to try and understand the experience of being a small country dealing with a massive country that has made clear it doesn't like you very much. You are a good patriotic American as you should be, and America is ultimately 'us'. From outside, America is 'them' and you are not, from our perspective, automatically the good guy or automatically well-meaning.

America's behaviour here is like being a police officer making a joke about raping your wife, just after beating a perp unconscious in front of you. No, there's relatively little chance he's going to do it, and nothing you could do if he did. But that kind of behaviour from an authority figure with complete power over you and a clear propensity to solve problems with violence is really unnerving.

The only acceptable answer when the largest and most powerful country in the world is asked, "are you going to take your ally's land by force?" is, "No! Fuck no! Are you crazy?! We're allies, that'd be insane!". And that's the answer every president before Trump would have given. Most of them would have meant it, too.


EDIT 1:

But all the people saying that America doesn't need Greenland because we'd be allowed to build and use any military base we wanted there anyways... they have been proved obviously wrong over the past month. And I was one of them.

I note that even here, "Lol, it's only a joke, calm down," is immediately followed by, "would have been a good idea though..."

EDIT 2:

Note that Denmark had already firmly rejected any possibility of selling Greenland during Trump's first term:

During the first Trump administration, US president Donald Trump said that the US should buy Greenland. The governments of Denmark and Greenland clarified that Greenland is not for sale and cannot be sold under the Danish constitution, and the Danish government has always rejected such proposals, which Prime Minister Mette Frederiksen called "an absurd discussion".[12] Greenland invited US investment, however, stating that "we're open for business, not for sale".[44]

The lesson Trump seems to have taken from this is that if he wanted to press his suit further he should also use threats. This is not a half-serious joke, and it's most definitely not a sign of "our eternal love for each other".

No, there's relatively little chance he's going to do it, and nothing you could do if he did.

That's a bizarre attitude to an American, because obviously there is something you could do - you could shoot the police officer if he started to make good on his joke. To you that might not seem obvious, but it's obvious to an American that this option is on the table, and all that is left is how to best explain the situation to 12 peers.

There is a huge difference between Americans and Europeans and this is at the heart of it. It's not just "Us/them." There is a different attitude towards force and I don't know how that difference developed because at one point I don't think we were that different.

I note that even here, "Lol, it's only a joke, calm down," is immediately followed by, "would have been a good idea though..."

I don't think it would be a good idea to take Greenland by force. I think it would be great if we could buy it from Denmark.

Come now. If you require absolute perfection in my fictional analogies, let him be armed to the teeth while you are on your way to the gun shop to do something about an unfortunate jam.

Again, please consider the main point. Europe is much poorer and weaker than America. I wish it weren't so, but it's so. And yes, threats from you freak us the fuck out because we are sane and it is sane to be worried when the massive, much more powerful nation who just black-bagged a head of state starts making threats.

I don't think it would be a good idea to take Greenland by force. I think it would be great if we could buy it from Denmark.

And since Denmark has categorically refused to sell it, you will happily agree that taking it by force or e.g. economic compulsion through tariffs is completely off the table, yes? Because that would be a spectacularly shitty way to treat an ally who is on your side. Yes?

I'm not even being sarcastic, particularly! The fact that apparently-reasonable Americans, when asked whether America should mug a loyal ally and take their stuff, have a good chance of either shrugging or enthusiastically agreeing is also part of what's creeping people out. Europeans read American newspapers, blogs, and websites. We know what you say to each other.

And even though I suspect that most Americans read anything negative about Trump and their minds immediately present an outrageous French-accented person saying, "Tell me, do you now see your foolishness and disavow your president? Ohohoho!" these are real issues and your behaviour really matters.

Yeah, the US should not take any territory by force outside of a just war situation.

Economic levers are more of a gray area. Just saying, "hey I'd buy this land from you," is an economic lever. Tariffs are getting a bad rap but weren't all that weird too long ago. Denmark doesn't technically have any right to sell things to Americans, though I would like them to be able to do so. I think tariffing Denmark would be imprudent but not strictly immoral if the President had that power reserved to him. (He does not, at least not to the extent he has been trying to use them.)

If China submitted an offer to buy California I think the same Americans who supported buying Greenland would consider it, especially if there was a way to drag it closer to the Chinese mainland. (Maybe the debt crisis will be resolved that way.) Borders are not eternal. I'm surprised Denmark didn't even consider the offer, or what they could get for their far off inhospitable territory. I would be curious to know what their price is.