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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   3193 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for August 28, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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First week of school is finishing up for my kids. One fun topic of conversation with the other adults at the bus stop: teacher names. There are often teacher names that can easily be mispronounced or misread to create funny sounds. But one teacher in particular has the winning name: Ms Dick. That is not a misspelling. I find it hard to believe someone with that last name has not changed it, or at least spared their children from carrying on the name.

Anyone else have fun teacher names they remember from growing up?

I had a Mrs. Boob and a Ms. Bytheway.

Also, not a teacher, but my one classmate's last name was Pisupati (pronounced Piss-oo-potty)

I had a teacher named Mr. Wolf, in elementary school. Or, rather, the school had him; he never taught me. He looked like Gabe Kaplan in Welcome Back, Kotter except fucking mean. Mustachioed. Maybe just strict. Vulpine. I remember him slinging a kid around by the kid's shirt collar out in front of the school and asking (rhetorically I assume) DO YOU WANNA GET HURT?!

The pathetic no from the boy (remember this was elementary school!) to this day strikes a chord of pity in my heart, or wherever. I'm a bit sappy though.

I also had a teacher named Mr. Cummings who ended up marrying the (female) math teacher whose first name was Gay. He has passed away, alas, so I feel slightly boorish joking about his name, though I guess it's her married name that wins the prize.

The most plain name was Miss Smith, who was also (you knew this was coming) the most beautiful teacher I've ever had. Heavy-lidded and long-eyelashed Miss Smith, she of the quiet voice, lithe figure, and long dark hair. I remember she taught sitting down often. English, the smart-kid-class I got moved into halfway through the year. Was it Mrs. Smith? Ms.? I feel it was Miss. I remember she seemed to keep to herself, though I have a clear memory of seeing one of the PE coaches talking to her, some fit doofus with thighs like wrought iron. I wonder what happened to her.

Dick means thick or fat in German. I went to school with people with the last name Dicke which is a variation of dick. (Though they pronounced it like "Dicky" whereas Germans would pronounce it like "dick-uh.") We also had a Mr. Cox who was a dick

I have a really crazy classmate name that I can't share without doxing myself but every time I tell people irl they think it's wild.

In highschool our German teacher had a French last name and our French teacher had a German last name

I have a really crazy classmate name that I can't share without doxing myself but every time I tell people irl they think it's wild.

Same here. I remember telling my friend to stop wasting his time on his blatant attempt at pulling my leg when he told me that the new kid's name was [equivalent to] Hand Job.

Fair play to the kid, at least he didn't misrepresent himself by adopting an ill-fitting Anglo name like some of the other foreign kids did. We all know your parents don't call you Dennis.

But one teacher in particular has the winning name: Ms Dick. That is not a misspelling. I find it hard to believe someone with that last name has not changed it, or at least spared their children from carrying on the name.

She should've done a Futurama and renamed herself to Ms Cox.

I had a math teacher named Mrs. Moore, I guess that's nominative determinism.

I had a teacher named Fiess who intentionally mispronounced it as "Feiss" in order to avoid comparison with "feces".

List of the 1000 most common USAian surnames

SurnameRankProportion (%)
Cox820.084
Wang1510.057
Dixon1700.052
Ho5910.019
Ponce6830.016
Hancock6940.016

Nguyen has got to be one of the more frustrating Asian names. I think it is pronounced like "win". But for so long I'd say it with a mouth spasming "nnnggooyen".

It's easier to pronounce the starting "ng" if you practice making the sound as part of a compound word, where it feels more natural for English speakers. Add a sound before the "ng" to help flow into it, then remove the prefix once you have the proper mouth shape stuck in your short term memory. Try saying "ring win" quickly a few times, letting the two words flow into each other, then remove the "ri."

It's pronounced like "ngwin", but the leading ng- is hard for most English speakers (when not preceded by a vowel), and "win" is a totally acceptable Anglicized pronunciation.

I can say the leading ng- well enough ... but the real trick is that even "ngwin" is Anglicized. The Vietnamese name is Nguyễn, and those accents all affect pronunciation.

The ê is easy enough, already part of "ngwin". That "hat" is just one of the diacritics that better distinguish vowels. Vietnamese e sounds like the e in English "petty", ê generally like the e in English "pretty".

But adding the tilde ễ means you've got a tonal vowel. These are six completely different vowels in Vietnamese and you can get completely different words with each. Oh, and I think that particular tone comes in both a North-Vietnam-accent and a South-Vietnam-accent flavor. I cannot say either correctly.

Wikipedia gives the IPA as [ŋwiən˦ˀ˥] (one syllable), which I interpret as equivalent to Anglophone-pronounceable "ng-wi-en" (three syllables).

Maybe she’s a diehard Nixon fan?

I do tell the kids that they can call her Ms Richard if they want. The parents hear me and chuckle.

I had a maths teacher called Mr. Fox. He was fantastic.

What did the Mr Fox say?

He had so many memorable quotes! Some choice bangers:

  1. In a right triangle, the square on the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares on the other two sides.
  2. ax2 + bx + c = 0.
  3. y = mx + b.

I was expecting a bit different kind of Mr Fox.

y = mx + b.

This is heresy! It's obviously y = ax + b.

Did he have a specific regional accent?

Not that I recall.

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