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PaperclipPerfector
1hr ago
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Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.
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Item 1 of 8
The Astral Codex Ten Survey for year 2026 has been posted.
Item 2 of 8
At 2:40 in the morning, a police officer observes a motorist touch the shoulder line while making a right turn. He activates his dashcam and starts following the motorist. He sees her touch the shoulder line once more, while making another right turn. Then six miles elapse with no further errant driving. Finally, the motorist touches the shoulder line two more times in a ten-second interval. The officer pulls her over. She is obviously intoxicated, and is charged with driving drunk plus failing to stay within her lane.
The trial judge is skeptical. After viewing the footage in the courtroom, he says: "[I only saw the defendant] 'cross the line' once; 'the other three times, it's just hard to see. It looks like she might touch them a few times, but there's no—'" After viewing the footage one more time in chambers, he suppresses the evidence gathered from the traffic stop (i. e., all evidence that she was drunk) as the fruit of an illegal search, since the officer lacked reasonable suspicion that the motorist was driving drunk. The appeals panel affirms.
Moral of the story: If you are good at driving drunk, you can get away with it!
Item 3 of 8
If you want to estimate the cost of having a custom house built, here's some fun copyright infringement for you.
Item 4 of 8
A person buys a lawnmower from a retailer. Various warnings appear on the lawnmower, but since it's a display model the manual is not included.
The person uses the mower to mow his lawn, which includes a very steep area (slope of 1/2; see opinion for photos). While mowing straight down the slope, he slips on wet grass, causing his foot to go under the mower and be mangled. He ends up with 650 k$ of hospital bills. He sues the mower manufacturer for failing to provide sufficient warnings on the mower and for failing to design the mower to prevent the accident, and the retailer for failing to provide the manual.
The trial judge dismisses the failure-to-warn claims against the manufacturer and the retailer: the mower already bears warnings against (1) mowing straight down a slope shallower than 1/4 and (2) doing any mowing at all on a slope of 1/4 or steeper (see opinion for photo), and the person disregarded both of them. At trial, the jury finds that the mower is not unreasonably dangerous. The appeals panel affirms.
Item 5 of 8
Aren't big companies' social-media algorithms supposed to be perfect conduits of slop to your piehole? I can't even trust YouTube's algorithm to give me something interesting beyond what I (1) already am subscribed to or (2) actively search for. All I have to look forward to is the next day's tranche of court opinions. :-(
New Jersey's appeals judges have been SLACKING, too! >:-(
I took note of this phenomenon last year as well. Maybe they really do have annual mandatory training.
Over the past year, I have spent 180 dollars on downloading federal judicial documents from PACER (and uploading them to RECAP) in order to research the background behind the freely-available decisions. ROFL!!!
Item 6 of 8
A large investment company has been headquartered in Florida for many years. After it "encounters severe financial and legal distress", in May 2024 its founders resign and an interim CEO begins an "extended winddown". The interim CEO is headquartered in Texas, and sets up a paper company there in contemplation of filing for bankruptcy, but the business still is headquartered in Miami, and its former executives still live there.
In July 2026, several creditors file an involuntary-bankruptcy petition against the business in Florida. However, one month later, the business files in Texas its own voluntary-bankruptcy petition. The question before the Florida judge is: Which state is the better venue for the proceedings?
The judge picks Texas.
Item 7 of 8
Way back in year 2008, the Ohio Public Employees Retirement System sued Freddie Mac for misleading investors. In year 2026—literally 18 years later—this lawsuit still is active after three trips to appeals panels.
Item 8 of 8
New Jerseyans may remember the controversy over Atilis Gym, which attempted to remain open during the coronavirus pandemic in defiance of government restrictions. Apparently, the gym's owner hired somebody to ghostwrite his autobiography, and then sued her, claiming (among other things) that she fraudulently held herself out as an experienced ghostwriter and that her draft was unsatisfactory and he had to rewrite it himself. The ghostwriter countersued, claiming that her draft was perfectly fine and the gym owner was falsely holding it out as his own work.
The trial judge now generally has sided with the ghostwriter. (1) Neither party breached the contract. (2) Even assuming that the ghostwriter falsely held herself out as experienced (and the judge finds that she did not), this alleged lie cannot be linked to any damages suffered by the gym owner, since he unilaterally canceled the project before the ghostwriter delivered a final draft and received payment from him. (3) While the gym owner did not republish the ghostwriter's draft wholesale, he did make enough use of it as the "foundation" of his rewrite, and did benefit enough from the ghostwriter's promotional and management activities, that he owes 10 k$ to her.
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