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I knew a girl in high school that self identified as bisexual. She was in a long term relationship with a guy.
Then in college in the dorms there was a very similar woman. Same exact personality and interests. For some reason also felt the need to inform people she meets that she is bisexual. Also in a long term relationship with a man. This is before social media, so it wasn't internet brainrot.
There's some portion of women that are hypothetically bisexual. Or we could frame it negatively and say they are performatively pretending to be "queer" as stolen valor from actual LGB people. Refusing to admit that they are regular straight people; "cishet".
That does not prevent them from pairing up with men. I found those two women annoying. I suppose I'd find a modern "demisexual" "pansexual" woman who got her identity from tumblr similarly annoying. But that shouldn't be a universal filter. Any man who can resist rolling his eyes while she recites her "actually it is a spectrum" speech can live a productive hetero life with her.
As for age: men's age preferences are well known The cowards at okcupid deleted their blog post that chart was taken from. If there is indeed such a desperate shortage of high quality 20-something women willing to date, then date women in their lower to mid 30s. Up to mid 30s they can have kids no problem.
Your okcupid URL links to "nice hat.". I'm having deja vu...
So strange. I click it now and also see nice hat.
It was this when I copied it over, but on reddit rather than twitter.
Direct reddit image links are not persistent?
I'm not sure, but I knew I wasn't imagining it.
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Indeed, young women being memetic and adopting bisexuality as a quirk (and a form of stolen valor to earn some more social credit points) has been long-noted—even the "charge they phone, twerk, be bisexual , eat hot chip & lie" meme is basically ancient internet history nowadays.
However, female bisexuality can be difficult to discern from female heterosexuality, as women are basically asexual relative to men, on top of female sexuality being less binary than male sexuality. In addition, a woman legitimately interested equally in men and women will almost certainly have had only relationships with men, given female passivity and lack of courage and initiative when it comes to dating.
It reminds me of a 4chan screenshot I saw, to the tune of:
>women claim to be bisexual, but have only ever dated men, are in a relationship with a man, and will eventually marry a man
>men claim to be straight, but constantly joke about fucking femboys, twinks, and trannies
>why are we like this?
What really?
On 4chan, not real life.
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How does a woman make it to her 30s without landing in a stable, committed relationship?
Especially if she was inundated with options in her 20's.
Doesn't this suggest there's some factor that makes her less suited for such a relationship?
Is your advice to young men here "actively pursue bisexual/queer women and hope this one isn't sincere?"
Add on the correlation between mental illness and LGBT identification.
One large point I've found is that this was NOT a major issue that men had to negotiate even 15, 20 years ago, let alone 50.
So we're still in a world where the sexual marketplace is far more difficult than it was previously, which has ripple effects on actual relationships, and the approach men have to take to them.
Still a bit crazy to me that the advice boils down to "men need to become better AND keep lowering their standards until they find someone who meets them."
Almost nobody out there saying "Women need to lower standards and pick a partner earlier."
Just seems asymetrical.
You say long term relationship but what you mean is marriage. This is 2025, they are not synonymous, and plenty of long term relationships fail to transition to marriage.
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Well, it takes two to tango. Even assuming that the woman in question wants a stable, committed relationship, it's pretty easy for her to have a run of bad luck and end up dating one or more men for years each, but every time the guy turns out to be crazy, or there is some other incompatibility issue that is too much to overcome. Sure, sometimes it is more the woman's fault than the man's, but it's possible for even a well-intentioned and mentally stable woman who is seeking marriage and who puts effort into her relationships to just happen to spend years in relationships that turn out to go nowhere.
How many 22 year old men really really want to be married and having kids versus 'these are my prime years, time to have fun before I settle down'?
There are men who want to marry early, but not the majority of them. And there are women who want to marry early, but again I would say not the majority of them. It's 2025, both sexes want fun and freedom before they're too old to enjoy themselves and have to settle down to adulting.
Where is the number 22 coming from? There has never been a society where the usual age of (first) marriage was 22 for men.
IIRC the USA got there, briefly, in the fifties, but men have typically been older than that at marriage- by world historical standards the typical marriage age would be around thirty for men.
Although that reflects two very different marriage patterns - the cisHajnal one where a man in his late twenties marries a woman who is only a few years younger than him by mutual consent, and has also spent several years as a single young adult because she is expected to save her own dowry first, and the more usual one where a man who has accumulated sufficient capital to support a wife buys (either literally or figuratively) a teenage girl from her father.
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I'm not saying you should go out of your way looking for hypothetically bisexual women. I'm saying bi shouldn't be an automatic deal breaker. If a woman is living a hetero life, it isn't much relevant that she (performatively?) identifies as bi. She's probably more announcing that she is a good progressive than that she would ever be in a relationship with another woman. I find such people annoying and would not date one. Young single men should evaluate them on a case by case basis. Those two I knew in high school and college had men in their lives who didn't seem to mind.
I suppose. But that applies equally for these forever single young men. There's an opposite framing of modern dating issues in which young men are less and less going to college, getting good careers or even stable employment and more playing video games and watching porn. We have a loser young men epidemic.
There's some problem with unrealistic standards on both sides. I don't know how to fix this though. If only we could tell people "You are a 4 out of 10. Here's a list of single people in your area who are also 4s. You think they are too fat, too short, over 30, don't make enough, too many partners, lame hobbies, too woke, chuds, etc? Too bad, this is your level. This or single are your choices."
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Quite easily. I'll let you in on an insight most men haven't realized yet.
You know how you often hear women complain "Where are all the good men?" and then totally a catch yet perenially single nerdy guy complain "Uhhh, we're right here, you just ignore us!"
The equivalent women exist. The equivalents to men who have hobbies and friend groups that don't intersect with the people they probably should be matching with. Dating's "dark matter", the women we all imagine probably exist yet no one can find. The problem is that men expect that the equivalent for women is within the same hobbies, that the match for lonely nerdy guys into anime should be lonely nerdy girls into anime. But nerdy girls into anime are rarely lonely. But I found them. I found the elusive missing good women.
The equivalents are nerdy bookish/library girls. There are a lot of women who spend their time in libraries, reading high or low brow stuff. Recently I had to do some work for a client that works in the library space, and I quickly realized that 90% of the employees there were quiet, nerdy (and no, certainly not unattractive) girls. I had to deal with pretty much all of the employees and most of them seemed shy and unaccustomed to dealing with a "normie" guy like me.
Had I made this discovery in my bachelor days, it probably would have completely changed how I approach dating.
I'll throw out an alternative answer- western courtship lengths are too long, and a couple of long term relationships that didn't work out could easily lead there.
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I'd also add an alternative mundane answer:
By being unserious about relationships in general. In a society where extended adolescence and delayed adulthood are the norm it's not even out of the ordinary.
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