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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2743 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for September 12, 2025

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What are the best completed cultivation novels in your mind? I started reverend insanity off the rec of @self_made_human but wasn’t feeling the evil MC vibe.

I’ve read coiling dragon, I shall seal the heavens, cradle, and mother of learning and liked em all. Tried out Warlock of magus world but it’s a little too silly for me so far.

Any thoughts?

Path of Ascension for space cultivation. It's not finished, but there are a few arcs that make for good stopping points.

Elder Cultivator has a kind old man as the main cultivator. Story eventually starts to drag, but I got like 1000 chapters out of it before I dropped it.

In racking my brain for other cultivation stories I've read and coming up blank. I'd say learning how to quit a story is a useful skill if you are gonna start reading cultivation stories. And not just quitting books you immediately didn't like, but quitting a story you've enjoyed for 800 chapters, but the last two hundred haven't been good and the trend is in the wrong direction.

Meng Hao walked into the McDonald's. The cultivator taking his order gave a derisive snort, but Meng Hao did not really care, because he had repressed his aura down to the Single Patty Realm, and a fool would not be able to tell his true level of burger eating.

"Give me... a Happy Meal!"

The cultivator's face flickered before he finally regained his composure and laughed. "You couldn't afford a Happy Meal. Get lost! Don't you see that there are Double Quarter Pounder Realm eaters waiting behind you?"

Meng Hao slapped his bag of holding and threw 80 billion spirit McDonald's coupons onto the counter, causing an earthquake which demolished half of the restaurant. Everyone dropped their jaws. None could see how this was possible!

"I'll take that Happy Meal with a side order of fries, " Meng Hao said. He was as calm as the ocean in a painting of an insanely calm ocean. "And let me see your manager!"

The cashier cultivator coughed up a mouthful of ketchup. He simply could not handle Meng Hao's killing intent, because he was only at the Quarter Pounder with Cheese realm himself. Even though Meng Hao had suppressed his aura, because he had cultivated the Heavenly Burgin' Qi, this was enough to kill people a few levels higher if he truly wanted.

It was then that another man which a much more fierce aura stepped forward. "You dare make trouble here?"

"P... Patriarch Hamburglar!"

Patriarch Hamburglar was 99 cents of the way into the Big Mac Realm, plus tax! Meng Hao was pushed back two feet, knocking over a soda machine. Powerade Mountain Berry Blast geysered outward, killing several onlookers.

Of course, Mayor McCheese saw all this happen through the window.

Meng Hao coughed up a mouthful of blood, snorted, constricted his pupils, and then his expression went calm. He unleashed the aura of 64 patties, condensed down to a 2 patty stack that could fit into his mouth!

Mayor McCheese coughed up a mouthful of cheese. His pupils constricted.

"Is this... Seeking the McRib stage??"

Meng Hao had the gentle air of a scholar, but it wouldn't stop him from killing several people in a McDonald's.

"Burger Devouring Scripture! I'm Lovin' It!"

With the first keyword of the Burger Devouring Scripture, everyone below the early Quarter Pounder With Cheese stage exploded into purple mist. The light of the immense heavenly burger shone down with the contours of a golden arch as 9 illusory burgers floated around Meng Hao's body, which is probably an important xianxia number that matches the number of lakes in some sacred Chinese province I've never heard of. But that was only a fraction of Meng Hao's power. He waved his arm, bringing forth thirty more cultivation techniques that hadn't appeared in over 400 chapters!

"Heavenly Tribulation Fries! Eastern Everburning Egg McMuffin! Fruit Smoothie Guillotine! Soul McCafe Mocha Incarnation!"

Meng Hao's expression was the same as ever as he slapped his bag of holding, and brought out his karmic ketchup packet, Fry Cook Lord medallion, seventeen different wooden time spatulas, a five-coloured resurrection coupon, the silk burger wrapper, various souls of lightning McNuggets that he may or may not still have, and his mask of the legacy of Ronald McDonald. Oh, and the image of a flying Chicken Snack Wrap dragon appeared. Remember that? It was basically his Main Thing at the start of the novel, but quietly faded into irrelevance. Until now!

All of this takes some time to describe, but actually happened in the space of only a few breaths.

"What! Impossible!"

Meng Hao wanted to summon the parrot as well, but it was too overcome with eroticism by the purple fur depicted on a nearby poster of Grimace, and was busy drilling out a glory hole straight through the poster, and the wall it was pinned to, with its strong parrot erection.

But it was more than enough. The Hamburglar's soul flew out and was absorbed into his mask! He screamed as his body was destroyed completely.

Meng Hao brushed off his robe and swept up his spirit coupons and everyone's bags of holding which probably didn't have any cool sh*t inside unless I write him into a corner later, and anyways, don't worry about it for now. He surveyed the rubble that was all that remained of the McDonald's.

"Guess I'll be taking that Happy Meal... to go!"

"It's okay, Anna. You'll make a great cauldron."

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

LOL this made me laugh almost the whole time reading it. Amazing. I was dying at the mouthful of ketchup part. And the Powerade!!! Ahahaha.

You forgot to add that he sighed contentedly with strong emotion after wreaking such havoc, though!

Lord of the Mysteries may or may not qualify as cultivation depending on what you're looking for, but it would be my favorite cultivation-adjacent thing I've read. It has a cultivation-inspired sort of progression framework but not the typical cultivation setting or powers or advancement methods, instead it's more occultism in a Victorian-inspired setting. This site seems to have a decent epub version if you don't want to put up with the official site.

It being my favorite isn't a terribly strong statement, since a lot of them (like Coiling Dragon) I've quit after trying and getting bored, but I guess I'd say it's of similar quality to the average published western fantasy novel? Which is high praise by webnovel standards. Note that it has a slow start. (Conversely the currently-airing donghua adaption went too far in the other direction in rushing through and skipping things for the first few episodes, to the point that some non-novel-readers were complaining of it being difficult to understand. Nice animation though.)

Nice animation though.

I bounced off it because i thought it was poorly directed, even though parts of it were well animated.

Would you recommend powering through or just reading the novel?

The show skips and compresses enough stuff (setting, time with less important characters, less vital plot elements, explanations of what's going on) that I would regard the novel as the "full" version, plus according to the timeline it'll take until 2035 to adapt it all. The main question is whether you also bounce off the novel's translation/writing-style/slow pacing. So I would say give it a try and see how you like it.

cradle

I just posted a comment recommending Cradle. Good job me. Since you've already read Cradle, I agree with FC that Beware of Chicken is extremely funny.

As for another... I enjoyed listening to an AI audiobook of Release That Witch, despite an embarrassing pseudo-harem element. It's an isekai where a chemist bootstraps an industrial revolution in a magical setting; the "progression" is more Civilization than Amazing Cultivation Simulator though.

Very interesting how Communist theory seeped into the Chinese author's depiction of a state planned economy.

have you tried Beware of Chicken? My wife and I love it.

I saw it recommended but idk man! Wanted something a bit more serious. Perhaps I could check it out.

Only read the first volume and then stop. Once it wrings the humour out of the situation, it descends to absolute trash tier

It's got a lot of silliness, slice of life humor, and it's, eh, I guess the way I would describe it is sorta the opposite of grimdark. Very optimistic, but not generally in a flippant way. It takes itself seriously most of the time, but Berserk it ain't. I consider that an unalloyed positive, but YMMV.

It also isn't completed. Although it is closing in on the end and I don't really think it matters much.

The first novel is pretty much self contained and arguably even works better as a standalone, so it doesn't have to be a big commitment to read it.

...it's closing on the end of the series? I'm not current, but from the general arc of the story it seemed like it could go for a while. By the end of the snowy north, he's only broken rocks in vol 3 and diverted waters in vol 5, so I'd expect another couple of volumes at least before we wrap the series up.

Things could of course change but he has said that he planned for 6-7 volumes (and has repeated that recently) and he just finished the 6th.

I don't think there's much of a plan. Just vague motion to keep milking the cashcow while he stares longingly at the Harem Option.

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