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Culture War Roundup for the week of April 6, 2026

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We interrupt your regularly scheduled Iran posts with more Epstein posts.

Melania Trump says rumors linking her to Epstein need to stop

I never been friends with Epstein. Donald and I were invited to the same parties as Epstein from time to time since overlapping in social circles is common in New York City and Palm Beach. To be clear, I never had a relationship with Epstein or his accomplice Maxwell. My email reply to Maxwell cannot be categorized as anything more than casual correspondence. My polite reply to her email doesn't amount to anything more than a trial [?] note. I am not Epstein's victim. Epstein did not introduce me to Donald Trump. I met my husband by chance at a New York City party in 1998. This initial encounter with my husband is documented in a detail in my book Melania. The first time I crossed paths with Epstein was in the year 2000 at an event Donald and I attended together.

For reference: This document, a proffer by one of Epstein's assistants, claims that Epstein introduced Melania to Donald; the assistant also worked for Paolo Zampolli, the man who hosted the party at which Trump and Melania met. Another piece of correspondence by a redacted author to Epstein claims that "I remember flying back with Donald on his plane the first weekend I went to visit you in Florida was the weekend he met Melania and he kept on coming out of the bedroom saying 'wow what a hot piece of ass'". So at the least, her claim that "My name has never appeared in court documents, depositions, victim statements, or FBI interviews surrounding the Epstein matter" is incorrect.

Michael Wolff, who become a sort of Epstein confidant while researching Trump, said Epstein claimed that the first time Trump and Melania banged was on the infamous Lolita Express.

This appears to be the referenced correspondence with Maxwell. Seems a little bit friendlier than "casual".

There are so many legitimate reasons why the Orange Man is Bad that it's a bit depressing that so many people feel the need to make up fake reasons too. Like, the corruption, incompetence, and blatant buffoonery aren't enough? We have to pretend Trump is a pedophile too?

Let's split the three possibilities from maximalist to minimalist.

A) Trump is a serial predator who raped kids with his buddy (as documented in some of the more ridiculously lurid accusations)

B) Trump fooled around with some of Epstein's models who may have happened to be slightly under 18

C) Trump liked hanging out with Epstein because he knew people and was wealthy

The third seems to be the most likely. Trump wasn't happy about Epstein stealing his girls (Mar-a-Lago workers like Virginia). When the Palm Beach police chief arrested Epstein, Trump called thanking him because everyone knew Epstein liked em young. Trump is an adulterer and harasser of women (reminder that he has been successfully sued, in civil court, of sexual assault) but not an out and out pedo.

That said, his links with Epstein go beyond the mere appearance of impropriety, as do those of several of his advisors. And when the files get slow-walked and redacted, it increases suspicion. And when his wife who was barely mentioned in the files and barely discussed suddenly makes a big public announcement begging everyone to STOP TALKING about her and Epstein, well.

I'd like to go into a little more detail about C. C can be broken up into C1 and C2.

C1: Trump knew that Epstein was a pedophile and was unbothered by this fact.

C2: Trump may have suspected something, but wasn't sure.

With a crime as emotionally charged as pedophilia, there's a legal aspect and a moral aspect. People aren't just interested in whether he has legal culpability. This is something that both left and right would generally expect you to stop associating with that person.

There's a middle ground theory where everyone knew he was a pedophile but neither participated nor reported him. Or facilitated him in tiny ways that technically aren't illegal so long as they can plausibly claim "they looked like adults to me."

Maybe pedophilia or ephebophilia or whatever just wasn't seen as that serious back then. (My only reference for this is a House episode where the doctors all make comments on how hot the 15 year old patient is)

Remember that you're talking about the Groupie Generation here. They're '70s people. And House is kind of peak liberal (as in, not progressive) media anyway so it's natural that people who aren't tied into knots about the fact sex exists are going to treat hangups about that as a punchline.

The gynosupremacist "every female teenager who has sex was raped" angle ramped up later, in the '80s.

(reminder that he has been successfully sued, in civil court, of sexual assault)

This was long after he began his political career and is therefore subject to extreme political bias. The female accuser in that case could not even remember when exactly the alleged assault was supposed to have occurred, or apparently have told anyone at the time about it, but can definitely attest that Donald Trump came and ripped her bodice off dramatically in a public shopping mall randomly on a random given day without even knowing who she was. She also had a history of exaggerated claims of rape and of writing rape fantasies in public gossip columns, and none of this was allowed to be admitted into court. But yes Trump was found liable for calling her a liar.

There's possibility D) The Epstein saga is riddled with a plethora of falsehoods, and the actual story is much more banal than most people think.

Check this out.

Virginia is a very unreliable witness who had retracted 8 years of allegations against Alan Dershowitz. She was also accused of being a recruiter herself by Carolyn Andriano (one of the witnesses in Maxwell's trial). Ro Khanna told reporters not to ask questions or cross examine the "victim stories". But since no one from either camp gains to profit from "rehabilitating" Epstein, all the falsehoods associated with this saga are allowed to proliferate uncritically. Listen and believe. We have at least two witnesses from the Maxwell trial who, Judge Alison Nathan says, were NOT victims of illegal sexual activity, and yet received millions of dollars in compensation from the Epstein estate. And a slew of anonymous witnesses whose allegations don't appear to have been verified at all. Now we do have evidence that Epstein himself probably did have some historic engagements meeting illegal sexual activity criteria involving minors, and he wouldn't be the first or last rich socialite guilty of this. But there is no evidence that he hired minors to provide sexual services to any of his powerful friends.

What has happened is that Trump and his cronies kicked the hornet's nest for years about a predaphile elite cabal without considering second and third order consequences, in typical Trump fashion, and it came back to bite them in the arse. So now, we have an epistemologically bulletproof narrative:

  • American elites are a nasty cannibalistic pedo cabal rubbing hands in a dark room talking in anime-villain-speak contemplating world domination.

  • Epstein was a Mossad linked predaphile blackmail kingpin (allegedly puppeteering America towards Greater Israel) and the central unifying link exposing the world.

  • Any mention of sexual activity on Little Saint James island in the "Epstein Files" is evidence of minor sexual abuse. Absence of details means the real tapes have been scrubbed a long time ago. Exoneration means elite capture, silence is cover-up, and deviant Jews are overseeing the network.

Trump dragged everyone into his flames, but never calculated his own exit strategy.

Oh yeah. Certain corners of the Internet uncritically repeat the line that Trump is a paedophile, that he was out there on Jeff's island with Jeff raping 12 year olds (the origin seems to be the unreliable and unavailable Katie Johnson and her/their/whomever's allegations).

There was an FBI interview with a (clearly mentally unwell) male accuser in one of the batch of documents released, and all the comments were how horrible Orange Man was to rape this poor man back when he was only a boy. Now, it's always hard to tell tone on the Internet, so how much of this was genuine "I do believe he raped and drugged and the rest of it this guy along with Clarence Thomas and every other person accused here", how much was "I don't care if it's true or not, Orange Man Bad" and how much was "This story is so dumb you'd need to be a cretin to believe it, but the lulz are too good to pass up" I can't say. But there are preposterous claims floating around and depending on what side of the divide you are on, you uncritically accept that the Grues did this awful thing or the Bleens did that awful thing, because of course they did, they're awful terrible people and this is what awful terrible people do!

And when his wife who was barely mentioned in the files and barely discussed suddenly makes a big public announcement begging everyone to STOP TALKING about her and Epstein, well.

You honestly can't think of an innocuous reason a woman might want people to stop linking her name with Epstein? "Oh but she was barely mentioned at all!" and yet people are passing around these comments as though they were true.

Indeed, and just look at the plethora of "eating babies" stories floating around based on ridiculously blinkered interpretations of random email fragments. I've even met people irl who believe this! There is a peculiar historical continuity to these stories about elite depravity, as though those in positions of power aren't mundane social actors and actually talk in nasty euphemisms. This is a central theme of most conspiracy theories, a projection of popular imagination riddled with Hollywood tropes about ruthlessly efficient, hyper competent villains who can bring down entire city blocks with one phone call. I think most people cannot grapple with the relative mundanity of real life, which bears little resemblance to how actual human networks operate. Conspiracy theories covert a messy, contingent, uneven and random world into something legible, which is probably more psychologically satisfying.

I can't think of a reason why a grown woman from upper class circles (although that's always debated w.r.t. Trump) would think that begging people to stop talking about something embarrassing could ever work.

There's a lot of behavior that seems mysterious if "believing that it could ever work for accomplishing the ostensible and stated goals" were a prerequisite for engaging in it. Not just by women from upper class circles, but basically everyone in every context, even the most powerful and influential among us, like some politician or executive blaming others when they fail to get the votes or buyers. I think that people, by and large, don't care about the consequences of their actions and just follow their inner impulses in the moment.

You can go even more maximalist than A, it just makes left-wing critics of Trump uncomfortable because it shades into Satanic panic stuff.