site banner

Friday Fun Thread for July 10, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

1
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I often find myself feeling as if there's something inherently controversial about me that will create friction between a woman I'm interested in. I've spent my formative years living in a rather remote area with a narrow dating pool, and the few times I have approached women to ask for their numbers, they've told me without fail that they are already in a relationship. The high-quality women around here clearly are quick to get taken for good reason. I've never been on a single date, and I've never had a texting stage with a girl. To add insult to the injury, my upbringing has led me to struggle with paranoia and me psychoanalyzing every detail of an exchange I have with an attractive individual of the opposite sex.

I'm 6'8" and consider myself to be socially adept enough, well-groomed, well-mannered, and decently-read for my age. I've been told I'm tall to a fault where my towering over everybody is just too intimidating. I work out regularly, and given my height, I'm in no means obese at 225lbs, but I've given up trying to reach the ideal body fat-to-muscle ratio and have prioritized raw strength. I also have hair down to shoulder length, and I personally believe it is harmonious with my facial structure, but it probably lowers my mass appeal. I'm too conservative for the median chronic Instagram Reels scrolling woman, too liberal for the median grass-touching, actively churchgoing woman. I'm old enough for dating apps on paper but too young for them to be a widely used, effective avenue among my peers.

I feel as if all my dating prospects are behind a glass wall that I just can't shatter. I'm not some unkempt maladjust, but my circumstances have made it difficult for me to develop the same connections that many people at my age do. I've been told that this is bound to improve the second I get to college, where there is a density of like-minded cohorts, but right now I can only say that I'll believe it when I see it.

High school can be awful, I can't imagine a small town. Hopefully you visit all the colleges you might attend to get a feel of the campus. Based on your preferences, you should probably pick a US based college where you blend in. Maybe BYU?

You do seem a little high strung, though I remember feeling the same way at your age. I was never good looking and I'm 5'3", so I'm short. I did much better in college, there were simply way more women of a similar background and intelligence to meet. But I did badly at first with women, until I watched how my guy friends behaved around women, and took those lessons to heart.

You are the type of guy who would benefit from joining a frat, they would teach you through example of how to be more relaxed around women. I think you don't have the basic comfort level to merely be friends around women like @ser has suggested.

Based on your preferences, you should probably pick a US based college where you blend in.

That is the plan, I will stick around in Europe for another year on logistical grounds, but I expect to transfer from there. BYU undergrad and Ivy postgrad/postdoc is the route I intend to take.

You do seem a little high strung

I've talked about this on the Wednesday Wellness thread before, I grew up in a very psychologically volatile household and had little to no avenues to socialize the first two years after relocating to this town, which has exacerbated my interpersonal paranoia. In recent years, thanks to my social life generally improving through church, my prowess in approaching women and asking engaging questions has improved considerably; it's just that I often find myself ruminating extensively post hoc on every exchange with women, but I don't believe it affects the exchanges themselves. I do have female friends outside of my immediate area who are part of a larger friend group, but so far it's just that with no ulterior motives.

Another thing I didn't include in my original message is that I've also had women turning me down because I'm too young for them, due to my preference for women 2-3 years older than me.

BYU is going to be a good choice for you. I'm going to add on a few things. If you have the funds for it, I think you should think about taking a light course load the first year and plan to graduate in 4.5 or 5 years. Although, freshman-level classes are typically very easy, so you might breeze through even with a lot of classes. You would use the extra time joining clubs and/or service organizations to network with more people. Try a lot of different groups and stick with the groups you enjoy the most. There will probably never be another period of your life that you will have social access to young, single, virginal, and upwardly mobile women in great quantity and concentration. Since you prefer slightly older women, consider taking more elective-classes like foreign language that students of all ages enroll in.

Given your circumstances, stop worrying about it until you get to college. When in college, get 2-3 female friends that you won't try to get romantically entangled with. Use them to learn how to be comfortable around women as a man, learn how to drop the "I'm not like all the other normies" mentality that you mentioned in other replies, even if you're not like them, you're probably overestimating how different you're anyway, that's how most people are and you're going to be surrounded by people like that your whole life anyway, so just accept it. Stop disqualifying yourself with premade assumptions (too conservative, too liberal, blah blah blah) from social situations, treat everything as an opportunity to get better. Eventually, everything will fall into place. You'll level up your social skills, your women friends will be your social proof that you're normal and will likely help you find someone to date. Good luck

learn how to drop the "I'm not like all the other normies" mentality that you mentioned in other replies

I specifically said that I've fared perfectly fine in more affluent suburban settings. If that's where you were raised and have little exposure to what it's like being a bored high school kid in a small town where you don't fit the mold, you may surmise that the baseline quality of your peers is more or less universal anywhere, but that's not the case. I hate being the most intelligent person in a room exactly because I am well aware that I am far from a genius, and I actually want iron to sharpen iron because I gain no joy out of a petty dick-measuring contest and realize that I have not yet found the right tools to realize my full potential here. I live in a town that has a pervasive anti-intellectual culture, think a Norwegian equivalent of a rust belt town that has seen better days. I do believe that there is less of a disconnect between my peers and me in a more prosperous locale, which is why I'm more frustrated by the fact that I'm currently not in an environment where I am perfectly capable of thriving.

Honestly, it seems like the reason you're struggling is because you hold everyone you interact with in contempt. You either need to learn how to enjoy and value interacting with people who don't share your narrow interests, or you need to accept that you're going to be lonely at least until university.

Though be warned: these educated elite peers you pine for will be just as petty and small-minded as the country yokels you leave behind. Most people--even educated people--are not deep thinkers who you will connect with on some deep intellectual level. Girls at fancy schools aren't any more attracted to spergy themotte-style debates than the ones you're used to. And it gets even worse once you're out in the real world and no one needs to pretend that they did the reading.

I know your misanthropy seems rational to you in your current circumstances, but I promise you, these better people you're looking for don't really exist, and if you neglect forming and maintaining relationships until you find them, all that will result in is a lifetime of loneliness.

Don't wait. Build the skills you need now, when it's still relatively easy for you. Learn to value people very different from yourself, because by the time you find your weirdo fellow travelers, it will be too late. And hey, you might be surprised at how cool a lot of the lowlife scum you're currently surrounded by actually are, once you give them a chance.

Honestly, it seems like the reason you're struggling is because you hold everyone you interact with in contempt.

You're reading something into my message that simply isn't there, I believe your post contains many conjured assumptions that are not congruent with my actual situation. I have now repeatedly stated that there are several settings where I haven't experienced the issues that I currently do. I have specifically said that I don't expect a random individual on the street to have read the exact books that I have, so I fail to understand where you could've possibly read into me saying that I expect everybody to share my exact interests.

Edit: How that egregious misrepresentation of the grievances I've actually expressed garnered 10 upvotes is beyond me, but I digress.

Here is what I've actually said:

If you're not into soccer, Instagram Reels, or getting blackout drunk and then bragging about getting transported by paramedics, your options in this area are very limited. I want to date a peer, not be a babysitter. Back in my suburb of a large American metropolitan area, you had a culture of go-getters who were passionate about one thing or another; crochet, photography, floral design, dancing, w/e, which is substituted here with a pervasive unsophisticated bro-hella-dope culture.

At no point have I stated that I expect my social circle to consist entirely of people who participate in spaces like this. I treat everybody with fundamental dignity and have frequently been told that I'm charitable to a fault, though I simply don't draw conclusions about a person from one interaction when I'm not privy to their background, and always wish to assume well-intention among people I speak to. I have pals at church and former classmates with whom I can grab lunch, take a hike, or go to the beach and bond over shared experiences. I don't think I'm unreasonable in setting standards for whom I wish to develop a long-term friendship with. In my town, it is commonplace for people to make overtly sexual jokes around children, people prying into my political views at random right as I introduce myself, people at functions reaching for food in a communal bowl with their hands instead of using the spoon or tongs in it, people nudging me with their shopping carts or standing like deer in headlights instead of asking me to give way, people breathing on me through their mouth as they reach for some frozen pizza, etc. I'm not asking for a highly curated social circle, just that some baseline of social etiquette, curiosity, and open-mindedness exists.

When it comes to a dating partner, I am dating first and foremost with the desire to find a woman I can see myself living with together for eternity. I don't want her interests and background to be identical to mine as I want a relationship where we can mutually refine each other. I do want her to be decently ambitious and well-read.

In my town, it is commonplace for people to openly make overtly sexual jokes around children, people prying into my political views at random right as I introduce myself, people at functions reaching for food in a communal bowl with their hands instead of using the spoon or tongs in it, people nudging me with their shopping carts or standing like deer in headlights instead of asking me to give way, people breathing in my mouth as they reach for some frozen pizza, etc.

Huh. I'm having some difficulty interpreting this. I've lived in small American towns, and didn't notice these sorts of behaviors, or not in a way that got on my nerves. Perhaps it's best to treat it anthropologically, rather than looking for a soul mate. I enjoyed living as a single young person in a very small town. They thought me to cut fish, let me participate in town festivals, it was interesting.

Try applying your own curiosity and open-mindedness to your situation, and it will lead to amusing anecdotes you can tell your future girlfriend once you get to college.

I've lived in small American towns, and didn't notice these sorts of behaviors, or not in a way that got on my nerves.

Well at this juncture, I am based in Europe. I truly believe White Americans possess higher levels of human capital than Europeans of the same class. I've had plenty of constructive conversations with individuals that many Bostonian elitists would write off as rednecks and country yokels. Some of the American missionaries in my church that I highly respect attend open admissions schools and are not rocket scientists, but nonetheless pleasant people to be around in a way that many of my classmates weren't. I was actually raised in an upper-middle-class pocket of a lower-middle-class Southern suburb, and on paper, that's the same variety of community I reside in in my current area, and yet it couldn't be any more different.

I attend municipal concerts, participate in volunteering initiatives, and even got involved in municipal politics for a brief period. I have met some upstanding people who are highly unlikely to share many of my hobbies, the problem is that those kinds of encounters tend to be sporadic and those people tend to be decades older than me.

If I may ask... what brought an American upper-middle-class person/family like yourselves to your current Euro-yokel town?

At the risk of doxing myself, O&G is all I'll divulge. Hence I'm in Norway.

I do think the anthropological lens applies to an even greater degree in Europe. Have you read any Orwell? I'd recommend The Road to Wigan Pier and Down and Out in Paris and London. I've spent some time in Albanian and Georgian villages, and, yeah, probably wouldn't want to marry there and remain forever. But, also, I generally liked the people, they were interesting, passionate, had strong ties to ancient cultures and traditions, made labor intensive cultural foods. They may have been less drained by emigration than some areas, though, and strong cultural self image.

A few thoughts I had after reading over your posts in this thread:

  1. I think the idea that it will be much easier in college is probably correct. The increased numbers alone are a great thing.
  2. I can't think of a reason for you not to try dating apps. Your height and fitness alone might mean that you would do well. And the women who would be attracted to you based on such superficial factors aren't necessarily stupid, though I'm sure that some of them will be.
  3. I can't think of any reason why it wouldn't benefit you to be open to the idea of dating women who are older than your peer group.
  4. You seem to be looking for a deep long-term relationship with a very smart and intellectually curious woman. I would advise being open to having at least a bit of experience with women who don't fall into that category, even if it's nothing more than flirting. I like intelligence in a woman, but it's not the only factor. Kindness and just plain being fun to interact with are also very important for me in a long-term kind of thing. Also: the better you get at interacting with and flirting with women in general, the easier it will be for you to get a romantic connection with the kind of woman you're mainly interested in. Given that you seem to be seeking a serious relationship, I also wouldn't advise you to spend many years becoming a pick-up artist or something, since given your desire that would probably be a waste of time. But generally speaking, getting better at interacting with women in general can only be a good thing for you.

I feel as if all my dating prospects are behind a glass wall that I just can't shatter.

Yes it's called being a teenage boy. Dan Savage used to have a stock response to teenage boys who wrote in complaining they couldn't get a date, which was to say yeah you probably can't get a date at 15-16-17 and there's nothing you can realistically do to get yourself laid at that age because teenage boys are inherently malformed and disgusting; but what you can do is build yourself up now to set the foundation to be the kind of guy who gets laid alot later, be more interesting and in better shape and going somewhere etc.

Most young men go through this kind of transition at some point in their lives. It's not comforting now, but it really is just something you have to wait out. I certainly did.

See I'm a tad older than 17 and have been told by many people that once I find the right people in college, my situation will change drastically. I'm just venting about this right now, as that notion sounds so inconceivable to me, operating on my observations from the first 19 years of my life. I could and perhaps should wait another year to see what happens, but right now I feel suffocated.

I think you're right to be wary of the "just wait til college" advice. You're not going to arrive on campus and suddenly everyone is an open-minded philosopher who you'll form an instant connection with. Also fuck that. Don't wait for happiness later; try to be happy now!

I had similar concerns at your age, and have always struggled with forming deep connections with people. Something I've found is that the key to being interesting is being interested, and everyone can be fascinating with the right mindset. Don't assume different interests automatically means a lack of compatibility. I'm friends with everyone from ambassadors to farmers to communist labor organizers, and my life is greatly enriched by all of them. Learn to savour the differences the way you would a varied diet. The last woman I want to date is myself with tits.

Here's something I tried that seemed to work for me. Have two goals for every single human interaction: learn something new and mention one positive quality about the person you're interacting with. It helps generate positive emotions in both directions, and encourages you to instinctively look for for the good in people rather than the bad, fostering meaningful connections.

I get that. That's exactly how I felt at 17-18, then all of a sudden everything "clicked" with girls and I went from being dateless from roughly 2004-2010, to rotating through four different girls the summer of 2010 before going to college. For me, the inciting event wasn't actually going to college, but primarily when I got into a horrible car accident on my way to a college visit. T boned by an f350 at an intersection, essentially unconscious for a week, out of school for the better part of a month. I'd been texting with four different girls beforehand, all of them were likely to friendzone me later on based on history, but then I just disappeared. And that was the trick, reappearing weeks later with some scars ultimately closed the deal with all four of them. That was the sudden change of perspective that changed my luck.

For a lot of Americans that is college, because you're suddenly in a whole new social ecosystem and your old status isn't important anymore. I remember in high school we had one buddy, Jerry, who was kind of the butt monkey of the group. The dre of the group. We were friends, but we all kind of made fun of or denigrated him, he was a dork, a naif, a loser, nebbish, unable to seize the initiative in any situation. At the poker table, he was the fish. At basketball, he was bait despite being 6'2". He wasn't dumb, but he wasn't top of the class either.

Then we went to college and a year later he was a frat star. Because he made new friends who didn't treat him like shit, and met new girls who didn't see him get treated that way. There he was just a 6'2" blond beast of a man, and he asserted his rights like anyone else.

So, take heart, have hope, It Gets Better.

FWIW if we're doing male-lifetime-hotness, your absolute hotness will probably peak around 22-26, when you have a lot of potential but you won't be expected to have done too much yet, and your body is in its prime. Your relative hotness might peak later, but your true prime is right in front of you.

It sounds like ypu are still in high school? I would stop overthinking. You will have a much larger social pool and available activities to organically meet people in college. If you really want to maxx, then pursuing a six pack will guaranteed work in college.

I just graduated. The European country I'm based in has a 13th grade, which has left me stuck in this town for another year. I do have visible abs, and I know plenty of people to whom that has been of no aid.

It sounds like you just don't have enough casual social contact with girls.

Also you're too young to visit youth hostels in different cities.

I think your best bet is to sign up for dance classes. Something like Ballroom, Salsa, Two-Step, or whatever is popular in your area.

Think of it as networking with girls. Even if none of them like you they probably know a tall girl who is dying to wear heels at events without being taller than her date.

If you're not even in college I'd avoid getting into any discussion of politics, being politically compatible shouldn't* be a thing at your age. You're teens trying to have fun together, not build a life.

It sounds like you just don't have enough casual social contact with girls.

Not at my school, though I do interact extensively with the American female missionaries at my church at Bible study and young adult activities. They tend to be 2-3 years older than me and are typically chaste and cordial, which cannot be said about most of the girls in my area. Like Orthodox Jews, Mormons typically try to date within the covenant, though as I'm not in the Mountain West and not at an age where I'm preparing to get married, I do want to gain general experience connecting intimately with women. There's one that has recently finished and returned home to be an ordinary member of society. I DMed her my number, but my message has been sitting for 24 hours now (she's 7 hours behind me FWIW), which is actually what prompted me to write this. I'm currently based in a remote, blue-collar area because my parents got a sweet job offer here during COVID, and there is a significant chasm between my worldview and aspirations and those of my peers that did not exist back in my old area to the same degree. I don't mean to harbor a sanctimonious attitude, but I don't believe that any of the local girls can bring anything to the table in a relationship. If you're not into soccer, Instagram Reels, or getting blackout drunk and then bragging about getting transported by paramedics, your options in this area are very limited. I want to date a peer, not be a babysitter. Back in my suburb of a large American metropolitan area, you had a culture of go-getters who were passionate about one thing or another; crochet, photography, floral design, dancing, w/e, which is substituted here with a pervasive unsophisticated bro-hella-dope culture. I live 2 hours away from my closest major city, and now that it's summer, I make the pilgrimage there once a week, but randomly scouting people out is a fool's errand.

Also you're too young to visit youth hostels in different cities.

I'm 19 and about to start college, so this may be a possibility. As I've mentioned to another user, the country I'm in has a 13th grade which has led my circumstantial social inadequacies to prolong.

I'm 19 and about to start college, so this may be a possibility.

Yeah in that case definitely try traveling to some youth hostels if you have the cash. The girls there are pre-selected to want to meet new people and be open to some vacation romance.

Not looking for hookups for obvious reasons, but sounds like a good idea otherwise.

I want to date a peer, not be a babysitter.

Unfortunately for you, dating as a heterosexual man does highly resemble high stakes babysitting, for a chick will expect you to take the lead in driving the interaction forward, feeding her (“feed me and tell me I’m pretty”), protecting her, and entertaining her (“make me laugh”).

The sooner you accept and internalise that, the sooner you can git gud at it.

Those are just common gender dynamics which I am well aware of. What I mean is I want to date a woman that is intellectually compatible with me (shouldn't be a big ask) with whom I can have profound conversations with, beyond reality TV programs and social media slop.

Women are, on average, more basic than men (e.g., the consistent finding that women substantially underperform men on knowledgeability tests), which will only be exacerbated at the tails. And young attractive women are perhaps the most basic segment of women. Thus, expecting a young attractive woman to have even a fraction of your interest in Motte-adjacent topics would be setting yourself up for disappointment.

Just like when babysitting you engage the kid(s) in topics that interest them (such as their favorite toys or cartoons), when dating women you engage them with topics that interest them, such as reality TV and social media slop. You can also monologue to them Patrick Bateman-style about topics that interest you; however, that generally requires a higher level of frame and attractiveness (and lack of unattractiveness), lest they—ironically enough—find you BORING.

I've read up on this subject before. The question that arises is, can't I weed out the more basic women by attending a school with selective admissions and look within my major? I'm not expecting to talk Wittgenstein and Krauthammer with a random girl I bump into on the street, but surely within a more curated environment, I can find women who have the curiosity and intellectual hardware I'm looking for?

No one person can possibly satisfy all of your needs at once. What you prioritize in platonic friends should not necessaily be the same as what you prioritize in romantic partners. If you find someone like that, great, but most successful relationships are not built on that kind of intellectual foundation. Your girlfriend will never be able to replace your drinking buddies (and vice versa) and you wouldn't want her to try.

If it's really important to you, by all means, hold out for Mrs. Right. Just know that it's a hell of a lot easier if you compartmentalize a little and accept that different sorts of relationships fill different sorts of gaps. Maybe deprioritize intellectual compatibility just a tad and scratch that itch by setting time aside to hang out with the boys.

There's also something to be said for not inserting potential points of conflict into a relationship of you don't have to. There are already so many vectors for disagreement and hurt feelings. I like to play a little rough with my intellectual sparring, and that's a lot lower stakes (and more fun) with male friends than it is with a girlfriend. Romantic relationships involve a lot of compromise and swallowing of pride, and that's not really something I'm looking for with a political or philosophical argument. Are you willing to lose the argument and apologize when a political debate gets heated? I'm not confident of my ability to do that in the heat of the moment, and so prefer to keep those debates to a lower stakes forum.

It really depends. As a female political science major who actually wanted to nerd out about "deep topics", my dating value skyrocketed because this was a rare find even with the department. You will probably need to accept a bit of tomboyish/masculine personality or some "neurodivergence" or both if this is something you want in your partner.

I feel like I want to underline the "probably" in what you wrote by giving an example of an exception: my first girlfriend was a very smart philosophy major whose personality, while not being exceptionally feminine, was also not masculine or tomboyish, and she didn't show any signs of neurodivergence.

(shouldn't be a big ask)

You post here. Yes, it very much is.

Even at an Ivy League school, or a school with selective admissions?

In a curated environment like that you can definitely better your odds of finding someone with interests closer to your own. But at the same time, you increase the quality of your competition. That brilliant girl with esoteric interests at Yale is also getting chatted up by the genuine genius and the bro with generational wealth.

I'm not telling you to "abandon all hope, ye who want a girl that's read Nietzsche", but much like the women who want a 6/6/6 guy you should understand that you're restricting yourself to a small portion of the pool. Especially if you also want her to be, e.g. hot and personable and not so short that your sons will resent you.

College will help, but you need to practice interacting casually with girls you could find attractive with no ulterior motives.

Or just practice interacting with girls you find attractive while having ulterior motives.

I mean, if he's capable of jumping right to it sure, but the ulterior motives means that there are stakes at play, which adds stress and nervousness which lower his confidence. At least that's how it was for me back then. Removing the motives, not even letting himself think about anything further than the current conversation makes it easier to talk confidently. Once's he's established he's as capable of confidently holding conversations with pretty girls without getting flustered or intimidated, then he can start thinking about flirting with them.

You are probably autistic (because you post here) and are probably a locationcel (as the incels say). Have you heard the term locationcel? Did you know location was considered important enough to make that category?

This is the Friday Fun thread, but this is not a Fun topic. I also notice there's no question so its not a good fit for the Small Question thread either. Perhaps Wellness Wednesday is the best fit.

Like I said, I'm socially adept enough and have seldom struggled with social cues growing up. I recently found out that I'm a highly probable candidate for inattentive ADHD that has flown under the radar as I'm not meaningfully hyperactive, which may explain why I've never been able to stop at a one-liner in the name of precision and clarity and have managed to focus intensively in subjects I enjoy.

I decided against posting this on Wellness Wednesday, as I imagine this issue may sound comically trivial when juxtaposed with the other posts.

Failing completely, thus far, at finding a mate is not trivial, and I don't believe that you believe it's actually trivial.

I've been told I'll bloom in college, which is just a couple of months away. I simply haven't lived long enough to see it and attest to it yet.

Oh, lol, you're around 18 years old. You're tall as fuck, you'll be fine.

What if I get plenty of women telling me I'm too tall?

The lesson as usual is don’t take what chicks say seriously (“omg you’re like way too tall, teehee”).

6’8” is right in the wheelhouse of optimal male height. Chicks seek a daddy they can choose, a man who makes them feel smol and like a powerless child.

Plenty of women will reject you, that doesn't matter. Nobody cares about efficiency metrics in picking-up-girls, least of all Mormons. Your true-shooting-percentage doesn't matter. Just the number of points you score.

You're very tall but not deformed tall, it's gonna be fine.

It is not comically trivial. This is the sort of problem the Wellness thread is for.