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More debates revolving around young single men in the mainstream media. Particularly, who the young women are dating due to them being disproportionately in a relationship. The article provides some insight, stating that many are dating older men and each other. This has led to a more intresting conversation of if older men are increasingly monopolizing women. Leaving younger guys out to dry supposedly, however a good chunk (acutally half, according to study from pew research). The data gives two large reasons, mainly: Having other shit to do & just like being single. What i always found frustrating with the mainstream progressive view of this matter is that they seem hell bent on blaming Men for this problem. Greg Matos, who wrote this (in)famous article which pretty much embodies the progressive view on the matter, has stated: “Women don’t need to be in long-term relationships. They don’t need to be married. They’d rather go to brunch with friends than have a horrible date,”. The argument from the mainstream being in a nutshell: that these single men are misogynistic, shitty bums and deserve to die alone. That take leads to some rather intresting conclusions however, when looking at the data. From the first pew research link and another one. The people who are most likely to be single are men who are: Black, young, only highschool educated, low income, and living with mom and pops. Are we suppose to assume, blacks, the youth, poor men, men without degrees, and guys without their own place are inferior romantic partners, and or more misogynisitic than their rich, old, white, college educated, apartment renting counter-parts?
Could it not simply be that these mens moral characters are fine, but they simply lack the resources and experience many women desire? Is such a thing their fault? Is the black man to become white? Or the poor man rich (or at least reasonably middle class)? Could there not be barriers preventing them from achieving such feats? In most cases, progressives would be open to outside forces interfering with ones ability to succeed. The matter is being treated as if all of this is entirely within their control, and their failures are a simple matter of poor character. The issue appears far more complex is you ask me.
Perhaps a bit of a divergent, but the entire dilemma has led me to a larger question of how much of life success (in dating, in work, in school) amounts to hard work. There was a post about on star slate codex sub reddit about how good IQ was at predicting life success. There is a bunch data about how expensive being poor is, poverty traps, and how difficult escaping it can be. Disputes over gender wage gaps. Not to mention all the discussions being had about how race impacts such outcomes. Id be interested if there was some huge of huge meta study done on what percentage of these factors (IQ, class, race, gender, ect) all impact your chances at life success, if anyone had such information on hand. Though my intuition tells me that such a study would be insanely difficult to do, if it even exists.
Of all the debates on here but HBD, this is the one that tires me the most, because no matter the conclusions, there is no solution that powerful and culturally-dominant societies are willing to accept.
The sexual marketplace is Moloch's little bitch. Women control access to reproduction. As long as women control access to reproduction, they gain power by withholding it. A man acts, a woman chooses. Q.E.D.: it's in the interest of women to withhold it to their own benefit for as long as possible (what if a better mate comes along?) while the world feeds them a constant parade of men to swipe left on. Sufficiently large network effects mean that this, at scale, will mean that reproductive access is limited to a smaller and smaller % of the populace.
There's no fixing this in ways that the currently dominant social and cultural paradigm will accept. How can you, when women can actively weaponize men against other men with nothing but the mere promise of access to reproduction?
There's nothing left to debate. At the rate things are going, either find a first world society someplace where TFR is above replacement so we can isolate the factors responsible, attempt some solution sufficiently alien the memeplex doesn't recognize it as a threat to women's autonomy, agency, education or power, or get women to actively seek reproduction with males they consider low status.
I consider freely available access to cold fusion, FTL, and entropy an easier nut to crack than the latter.
I have a lot of confusion about this topic and I'd really appreciate it if someone could help me understand this complex of problems.
Most of the discussion around this topic here seems completely divorced from my lived experience. For reference I am male, live in Europe and make decent but not fantastic money. Assume I am average in all important respects. I could have had "access to reproduction" from when I was 18 until now without issue. There are plenty of mildly-attractive women that would gladly start a family with me simply because I am middle class and they are working class. So is this a problem affecting only working class men? I also know some working class men, some of whom have problems finding a mate. All of them are either obese or have severely lacking social skills, both those problems could be solved with maybe a year of consistent effort. I don't know any man that has no glaring problems and wants a long term relationship with a (any) woman but can't find one. Sometimes it looks like that but on closer inspection it always turns out that they are shopping above their price range so to speak.
My toy model for the "sexual marketplace" is this:
Both men and women are open to long-term committed relationships only if they get a great deal. People who marry often think that they both got lucky in the sense that they self-rate as a 6 but rate their partner as a 9. Of course this doesn't happen all that often.
Outside of that women put a premium on a long-term stable relationship with material benefits. So they will get into a relationship with someone they would not outright marry (and have children with) if that person pays their rent and makes them look good socially etc etc. This often leads to disappointment and conflict later on.
Men value non-committed casual sex with multiple partners, probably out of some mesa-optimizing desire to shotgun their genes in the gene pool. So they will lower their standards if the woman is sexually available and does not demand exclusivity.
I know men who want to have a "player" lifestyle and struggle to have that happen and I know women who struggle with domesticating an attractive man. From the article it sounds like that is not what is going on. It sounds like there are many men who have already lowered their standards as much as possible, who are willing to commit, provide etc and are still struggling to find any woman at all? Why am I not seeing that? Is this less prevalent in the EU? Am I too isolated from those men by being middle class? Or is there some other misunderstanding here?
Now what does this reminds me of... Oh right, Scott's Annus Mirabilis.
Now in 2023, according to Pew Research cited by OP already,
You must be in a fortunate bubble indeed, to
nownot know of any among those 60% who aren't obese, autists, basket cases or aiming way above their level!The explanation, shifting midway from male withdrawal to increased standards (because of the pandemic, bizarrely) and the solution offered, are pretty cool:
My toy model of this issue and its discussion is very primitive. Standards really are rising quickly, and roughly 30% of marriage-age men are now, for all intents and purposes, incels. (This checks out, in my experience: even fit, okay-looking, psychologically stable guys with degrees and high-percentile (80-95ish) incomes often cannot find a 5/10 woman for a long-term relationship who isn't (physically) dangerously psychotic, a drug addict, an insufferable whore, or otherwise critically compromised). Men in the lower half of the distribution who are still viable begin to feel the pressure, and so double down in all usual tactics: «improving relationship skills» (which in practice means either deluded male feminist antics or PUA-like bullshit), distancing themselves from incels, ostentatiously signaling that they are «not like that» and have no problem scoring, then moving on to intense bodybuilding, shoe lifts, cosmetic surgery, TRT... As a result, everyone is awash in gaslighting. Normie men who feel they still have a chance will never admit that they may not have it tomorrow, because this in itself feels like diminishing their chances.
What has changed was the passing grade, but men are graded on a curve, so in effect the proportion of rejects has increased permanently. This rat race is pathetic and unsustainable, as are copes.
What percentage of Americans are obese, autistic, or mentally ill?
42% obese, 2.3% autistic (1 in every 44 children, according to the 2018 data; can't find any data on prevalence in adults) and 20% mentally ill (1 out of every 5 Americans will experience a mental illness in a given year). All figures from CDC.
There’s no significant gender difference in obesity. Who are all the fat girls dating?
Well, a lot of them aren't, isn't it the best predictor of single status ?
Those who do, they date mostly guys who settle for them. There's a preference for fat women but it does seem very rare, on the order of genuine male homosexuality. Maybe there's more men who don't mind it, but I've never seen much of an indication that they exist.
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Even as an obese girl on online dating you're getting arbitrarily large amounts of interest in casual sex, which tends to lead them into an equivalent of the '7/10 girl gets casual sex from 10/10 guy but cannot get commitment but refuses to compromise loop' but instead it's 2/10 girl gets casual sex from 6/10 guy but cannot get commitment'
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Black guys /s
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