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Sentenced to 1000 Pages of Contemporary Diaspora Literature Written by Asian-American Women
Here's a link that's not login-walled.
Asian-American women are not OK, at least if you go by what they write about.
All the books the author read feature a difficult mother-daughter relationship, with the author giving a hilarious quote of "Chinese mothers spent a thousand years binding their daughters’ feet, so maybe there is some deep need to torture their female offspring, which can nowadays only find an outlet in forcing them into piano lessons and telling them they are getting fat. "
They all mourn being unable to speak their mother tongue, but make no significant attempt to actually learn it.
The books are mostly portraits of neuroticism. "Neurotic about not being attractive because they are Asian. Neurotic about only being attractive because they are Asian. Neurotic about being too Asian. Neurotic about not being Asian enough. Neurotic about taking after their mothers. Neurotic about not living up to their mother’s expectations. Three of the books feature visits to therapists."
They're largely obsessed with white people, but in the worst ways possible. They think white society is a hair's breadth away from putting them all in concentration camps. They all have white boyfriends, which presumably fill the same niche that orcs do in hentai, with their physical characteristics (especially their height) always being brought up.
They think white people are just as obsessed with them. What might seem like a casual conversation to the white person feels like an intense struggle for racial supremacy that both people are obviously aware of to the Asian woman.
Any Asian-American man would have told you this without you torturing yourself with Asian-American women diaspora books. Asian-American men are not OK either, but no one cares.
This is actually not even really gendered. Family dynamics in Asia (China specifically, since I'm Chinese) have always been like this. I myself, when visiting family, often go through the "You got fat," "Why aren't you married," and "When are you going to have kids" waterboarding, and without being female. I even went through ~7 years of piano that my parents tricked me into.
This is actually just Asian women in general. I've found through personal experience that Asian women, as a group, are some of the most neurotic people I've ever met. Obviously, being a part of any diaspora does not help, but it seems that it merely gives them more topics to be neurotic about. Chinese women (especially southerners, I've found) and Koreans are especially prone. I have less experience with Japanese women, so I can't speak on them.
Asians in Asia are also obsessed with white people, but more as a curiosity than the neurotic fixation that you find in the West. And to try to disentangle the sexual psychosis present in the Asian-American community would require an amount of effort that I cannot summon up. The simple gist is that Asian women hunt for white men like a tiger hunts for deer. The average white man is obviously defenseless against such a pursuit, leading to an above average number of WMAF pairings in Asian heavy population centers like the SF Bay Area and LA. It obviously doesn't help that Asians are more neotenic in general, giving Asian women a leg up in terms of sexually selective traits while simultaneously giving Asian men a large disadvantage. This, in turn, causes a deep psychological disturbance in the Asian-American men population. This disturbance is amplified by the type and amount of Asian-American dating content available on social media (IYKYK). Each population deals with this differently, depending largely on their country of origin and where they ended up in America.
See above.
Overall, the article just confirms my suspicions about all of these Asian-American diaspora books, and Asian-American women in general. The entire thing makes me sad.
I think this factor is much more important:
Dating modern American men must be like shooting fish in a barrel for any healthy young adult woman given the competition.
But maybe that's my bias showing, and the average white American man actually wants a strongly-opinionated, plus-size, nose-pierced and skin-scribbled, childfree, yoga pants-wearing woman.
Is there any research on that?
Isn't it also true though that Asian women have usually terrible intersex communication skills?
I’m not entirely sure what you mean by this. Perhaps you mean that they are less vocal about what they want and expect the man in a relationship to Just Get It. I’d probably agree with this statement, and I’d hazard a guess that it’s downstream of East Asian conflict aversion.
But the flip side is that being extra vocal in the manner of white women need not necessarily be good intersex communication skills; it could just be being kind of bitchy.
As always with a straight man, how much shit he’s willing to take mostly boils down to how hot the woman in question is. On that front, an Asian woman’s juice is (on average) worth the squeeze far more than a white woman’s is, in the modern West.
Yes, basically. In more detail: two things. One: in order to elicit interest and initiative from eligible men, women need to have sufficient social skills and awareness to send indicators of interest that are also plausibly deniable. Two: after the man initiates conversation, the woman needs to be able to, well, hold it. As far as I can tell, many Asian single women are found lacking in both cases.
[emphasis mine]
Berkson’s paradox.
If they were hot (viz. slim, with no tattoos, weird piercings, or unnatural hair colors) and socially adept, they wouldn’t be single. Asian women are, statistically, very likely to be hot, ergo the single ones must necessarily be socially inept. Single white women, on the other hand, are very often not hot, hence they are paradoxically more socially adept on average.
I mean it depends. In my dating I definitely overindexed for 'Mid-Twenties non-fat pleasant Asian girl with a decent degree/start to career who is now getting pilloried by parents to date despite being forbidden until this moment'-types, and I'd say the failure mode there tends to be a lot of situations where you get like 2-3 dates in of polite workchat and I personally wasn't driving hard anywhere since I respected their inexperience enough I didn't particularly want to escalate to sex unless I really liked the girl and the girl in question didn't really drive to anywhere out of a combination of timidity and not really understanding how to drop the proverbial handkerchief. Thus a decent amount of fizzles with girls who I've got a soft spot for, but based on my Instagram feed a lot of them 5 years later don't seem to have found a boyfriend yet.
Which is bad for society, IMO, I eventually found one I liked well enough to escalate and now I'm married/2 kids, but a lot of these girls are pleasant, salt-of-the-earth UMC-types who are just kinda single forever due to timidity. As opposed to white girl failure mode which tended to resemble way more 'I got pump and dumped once or twice now I'm reclaiming my sex life by dating around forever' or 'hilariously bad mate choice forever'.
I definitely think @Botond173 has the right idea, in that a lot of these girls just don't really have a romantic model (or if they do it's an absurd super slow burn Kdrama 40-episode season till some handholding occurs) or a sense of how to encourage interest in a tacit way
Then your parents needed to make sure you respected women in the appropriate measure (rather than respect women enough to disqualify yourself) and in not doing so I honestly think they failed you as hard as 1950-1970s traditionalist fathers did their daughters by encouraging them to be housewives in the face of... absurd unprecedented opportunity to do literally anything else.
It's not like they knew any better, for the same reason parents in the 1960s didn't know any better. And yet.
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