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PaperclipPerfector  5d ago (text post)   2650 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for November 6, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Which is the most morally correct Inquisitor?

A bit of an odd/dumb thought experiment. Let us presuppose the following. You are in the 40k universe, and through the vagaries of fate have become a member of the Holy Ordos of His Majesty's Imperial Inquisition. You have the rosette, and with that rosette comes the authority to order the death of an entire world, and to consign a billion souls to oblivion. For the purposes of our thought experiment you are a true believer in the Imperium. It is the best, last hope for mankind and your job, your only job, is to push back the dying of the light by a decade, a year, a week, even just a day. To hold the line against the witch, the heretic, and the alien.

But which one is the most morally consistent with your internal value system as a man or woman who wholeheartedly supports the Imperium? The Ordo Xenos, Malleus, or Hereticus? Yes I'm aware that there are innumerable minor ordos, but work with me here and don't say "actually it's the Ordo Cronos." Does pursuit of the witch, the heretic, or the alien provide the greatest opportunity for pushing back the decay that besets the Imperium? There are of course excellent arguments for any of the options. The Alien is the most obvious threat. Unsubtle, overpowering, and always nibbling at the edges of Imperial space. The Tyranid breed xenos is an existential threat, and left unchecked it will consume the galaxy. But there are also countless other xenos threats, ranging from the major (Orks), to the relatively minor (Hrud). On the other hand, the heretic gnaws away at the fabric of the Imperium. Left unchecked they will fester and explode into rebellion, resulting in the deaths of millions or billions, and the diversion of hard-pressed Imperial resources away from the borders of Imperial space. On the third hand (insert genestealer joke here), the witch is the hardest to find and fight, while potentially representing the worst possible outcome. Too many witches go unchecked, and you risk letting a warp storm open in Imperial space, dragging countless human souls into literal hell where they will be murder/rape/tortured for eternity. Better to be eaten by Tyranids than dragged into the warp no?

I deliberately put this in the fun thread because I don't have a great answer, mostly because I can see the valid arguments for any of the above. Also because it's a silly thought experiment. But I'm curious as to what those mottizens who are familiar with the 40k universe think. Or if you're not familiar with the 40k universe, if anything jumps out as you as an obvious answer.

Heretics seem to be the primary danger to the Imperium. The Tyranids and other xenos didn't do nearly so much damage as the Black Crusades did, opening up a giant rift in the galaxy, cutting the Imperium in two. In previous Black Crusades the Imperium had to drop everything and head off to Cadia to avoid disaster.

It's not just rebellion but subversion in support of Chaos and their armies, often synchronized into a coordinated plan that is the issue. Chaos is the primary danger, so I would favour Hereticus, Malleus Demonhunters and then Xenos.

One ordo or the other aren't going to be more morally "correct" from the reader's perspective, that's down to individual inquisitors and the type of story being told. Eisenhorn is Ordo Xenos (and barely hunts any aliens). Gideon Ravenor is probably the most sane/sentimental/human inquisitor.

Not versed in the lore enough, but Warhammer 40k ambient music comes up in my feed a lot and I love it. Some of it sounds more spiritual than common church music today, at least to me.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=MY2eOrxYxiI

The comments are usually filled with pseudo-Christian maxims, too. That’s part of the lore I assume. But I read the comments and I think about how they’re all just one or two quick modifications away from medieval or antique Christianity.

"It is not the descent toward the shadow nor the rise toward the light that makes us superior. It is the endless struggle between the two that greatness of character lies. We are tested, and we do not break."

"When the armor of your faith is buckled and torn, see in your mind that magnificent hero. Think upon his deeds and be humble, for his like will never walk the galaxy again."

"There is no more noble sacrifice than giving your life for a cause in which you sincerely believe. And in the millennial history of mankind, there has never been a cause more worthy than that of the Imperium."

"Sanguinius. It should have been him. He has the vision and strength to carry us to victory, and the wisdom to rule once victory is won. For all his aloof coolness, he alone has the Emperor's soul in his blood. Each of us carries part of our father within us, whether it is his hunger for battle, his psychic talent or his determination to succeed. Sanguinius holds it all. The title of Warmaster should have been his..."

"He truly is the only innocent in the whole galaxy"

"My son... glory awaits you wherever you walk."

Only in death does duty end... and even then, not for some. May His light be with you this day. The Emperor protects

There is a weird feeling that I can't describe while listening to this and realizing that, in-universe, he's been dead for around 10,000 years, and they're still mourning him. Adding to that is that a painting like this would be 10,000 years old as well. I don't know what it is, but picturing that causes quite an indescribable emotion.

That last one is a person having a genuine religious experience. He is experiencing the sublime from a Warhammer 40k ambient music video on YouTube that may have been made by a 16 year old, and several thousand people find his experience agreeable. I watch this and I think: why don’t these guys just do religion? It would be better if they were engaging in living religion even as a larp than wasting these efforts on an expensive consumerist activity that doesn’t promote as much cooperation and social trust and connections etc. Your music and your art are already better than what is made in the churches today, by a lot, frankly. You can depict Jesus as blond and in armor, this isn’t that weird, He’s depicted as a Roman Emperor in a mosaic from Ravenna from antiquity and the Goths depicted Him as blond. Just direct your larp toward Christendom and see what fruit it brings. You’re watching a video of Sanguinus who google tells me is some blood angel, fine, you can find medieval hymns that mention the Sanguinisque Pretiosi of Christ and it kind of sounds like this, and some early Christians saw Jesus as an Angel.

I’m very pro-larp. If the guys doing Warhammer 40k just larped as Christians with some Christianized 40k lore aesthetics, it would be so socially fruitful, and I guess the only downside is that some assholes will constantly criticize them for not doing Christianity “authentically”, by which they mean performing it in such a fucking unaesthetic and tedious and boring way that no one shows up anymore except grandma and half the priests are gay. But whatever, the results would be better than playing Warhammer 40k, especially if you do full immersion baptisms.

There’s a comment from four years ago where someone simply posted an actual saying of Jesus, and it just fits in with all the rest:

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends"

And I kind of feel like this guy who replied last year:

I'm newer to the 40k universe, but I've read quite a bit of other fantasy. When I see others inspired and motivated by sacrifices or great acts of love, I always wish for them to see that these stories are a fuzzy reflection of the greatest story of all: The All-knowing, All-powerful, ubiquitous God became a man, lived and suffered with us, and then knowingly humbled himself to be executed in the most humiliating way, all for our own salvation from the destructive curse of sin and evil desire. What hits me the hardest is that as Christ was hanging by nails on the cross, he prayed to the Father on the behalf of the soldiers mocking him, saying "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." '...I pray for all to see Jesus for who he is and the love he has for the world.

Except I’d add: retain the larp, keep the larp, expand the larp. Believe whatever dogma you want which is conducive to prosocial conduct in the world. Who cares?

We have 40K-inspired Christianity at home.

On one hand the footage I've seen on it looks beautiful, and I absolutely wish there were more of that sort of campy power projection in the world (and the Mechanicus BGM people put on it is chef's-kiss). On the other, my late grandmother (most fanatically Orthodox member of the family) would for sure have called the whole thing a demonic monstrosity, what with the numerology of various metrics of the building encoding "1945" (on the meta level, a very heathen practice - the set of sacred numbers is closed) and the ambiguously idolatrous focus on military trophies. In a way it feels like the building is not so much dedicated to God as it is dedicating God and the church to War.

Yeah I know this one, I like it a lot.

The floors of the cathedral are metal. The metal is from melted-down Nazi trophies, such as weapons and tanks that were seized from Wehrmacht forces.

Yeah that’s pretty metal. “Get every twelve year old boy interested in your cathedral in one easy step”.

Still, I think the theology and the liturgy is not optimal for “engagement”.

Unfortunately I suspect most twelve year old boys by that age are already inoculated against any related topic by endless schoolmarm-led political weekly lectures about le glorious grandfather victories.

You've got your orders mixed up. Malleus are the demon hunters, the ones that deal with direct Chaos influence like demons and warp. Hereticus are the witch hunters, dealing with treason, heresy and witches.

I think Ordo Hereticus is the most important one. Chaos and Xenos threats have direct military countermeasures to fall back on, but you can't use spehs mehreens to root out internal dissent.

There is none. They are all mostly (in)competent, and Warhammer 40k makes a mockery of the meta-viewers moral ethics systems. Being a utilitarian in 40k is just as monstrous as a virtues-ethics or a wishy-washy moderate.

I was wondering why nobody had answered yet, and then I saw you only posted 30 minutes ago.

I don't know enough about 40k lore to put forward a compelling answer at all, but I've loved dabbling in the universe in videogames over the years. From this position it seems like a tough question to answer.

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