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Culture War Roundup for the week of September 12, 2022

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It is couple of months when through Spotify algorithm I encountered a song that I really liked for its lyrics. This was the song - don't worry, I will also publish youtube link later. I have to say that the lyrics grabbed me. Just some excerptions:

It was dark and I was supremely alone

No matter now if the compass fails again

Cause in your love I built a home

Refrain:

We're all we need, oh darling

Yeah, we're all we need, oh darling

Yeah, we're all we need, oh darling

Yeah, we're all we need

Yeah, we're all we need

You get the gist. When I listened to it on Spotify I said to myself how interesting it is to listen to popculture song that expresses woman's lovesong to a man, one does not see something like that anymore. I even said so to some of my friends/family. Only then I listened to youtube version of the song and it was about lesbian love

What I want to say is that "subverting the expectations" went right through over me. The cynical me did not even register it, to me it seems as if it all went through: this is what we had in the past and I can just pretend that this is man/woman love song and it has the same power. I ignore "the message" given the current circumstances and I can quite enjoy it. It is interesting how we went full circle when the current culture adopted old-timey tropes and they pretend to shock somebody. It is strange feeling, as if we are allies. Anyway that's all, I am interested in what you guys have to say to it.

Women’s love songs to men may not be exactly promoted in the culture, but they seem enormously popular even if they’re usually listed as ‘country’ rather than pop despite being nothing of the sort.

I'm not sure if this is uncommon. Aren't straightforward women's lovesongs to a man the bread and butter of international pop star Taylor Swift's career? Enchanted, Sparks Fly, Love Story, State of Grace, Wildest Dreams, the list goes on.

Looking at the top 10 for 2021... in fairness, there is a pretty dramatic male skew and the "love songs" are all about breakups, troubled relationships, or partying. Expanding to the top 40, the same goes for at least the first few obvious candidates before I got bored.

There are definitely counterexamples, as you demonstrated, but maybe this really is an under-served market?

I watched the video and I don't see it as lesbian. It's recreating "Thelma and Louise", of course, but it can be interpreted any way you like it. Strong Women getting empowered so they are a threat to the Patriarchy and must be taken down? Women as victims of men and only other women will support them? Lesbian love song? Heterosexual love song? You can interpret it on your own level, and that is what makes it saleable with universal appeal.

Granted, I think this will mainly appeal to young women, but there's nothing overt in the lyrics (if you don't watch the video) so that as you did, someone could hear it as "woman singing love song to man".

My own complaint is the "we are all we need" message. That sounds romantic on the surface, but if you really do try to live in a little bubble of 'just we two', you will suffocate. The relationship will break, because there is too much strain on it. The worst excesses lead to folie à deux. You can't and shouldn't have one person be everything to you - romantic partner, best friend, family, sole emotional support, etc. We are meant to live in community, and open out to a wider world of other people, not intertwine in a symbiotic pairing for everything.

So when/where were songs about straightforward love for a man from a woman's perspective actually common? The "early music" examples I can think of of unironic love songs (belle qui tiens ma vie..., Walther von der Vogelweide...) all seem to be m->f; in fact the only f->m one I can think of off the top of my head is Lana Del Rey's reasonably recent Young and Beautiful.

I think you can find plenty of examples in folk music.

"The Dutchman" (sung by Liam Clancy) is all about Margaret's love for her husband.

There was a mini-genre of raunchy female blues musicians singing about their men.

E.g.,

Long John Blues

I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall

Yes I've got a dentist who's over seven feet tall

Long John they call him, and he answers every call

Well I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'

Yes I went to Long Johns office and told him the pain was killin'

He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin'


He said "when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine"

He said, "Yes, when I start drillin', I'll have to give you novocaine

Cause ev'ry woman just can't stand the pain"

He took out his trusted drill

And he told me to open wide

He said he wouldn't hurt me

But he'd fill my hole inside

Long John, Long John, you've got that golden touch

You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much

Or how about Don't Come To Soon?

Come and see me baby

But please don’t come too soon

We’ve got a date at eight

And it’s only afternoon

The way you rush me, it ain’t right

I know you just can’t wait for tonight

Remember, love is like a mashed potato

If you eat it now, then you won’t have it later

ETA: Irritatingly, the preview below the post composer doesn't actually show how it will format in the post.

Common? I don't know. But I think I'll go to my grave probably thinking that the best song from a f->m romantic perspective is Simple and Clean. Yes, the one from Kingdom Hearts.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=0qxdwfxbONM

Honestly, I could do an in-depth analysis of the lyrics of this song, especially in terms of modern gender politics and relationships. (And what, this is like almost 20 years old at this point?) But my hand is busted so I don't feel like typing too much.

Somewhat ironically, Utada later came out as a gynephile, I think (can't really use the term "lesbian," I think Utada also identifies as non-binary now).

I mean, that's not a surprise TBH. Like I said, I could do an in-depth analysis of the song, and its active rejection of the Male Gender Role as a romantic value and breaking the related patterns. (Note: Even though I think it's the best for me personally, because that's my personal aesthetic, at the same time, I don't think it's realistic at all)

Kids these days! 😁 Ella Fitzgerald and The Man I Love? Granted, it's a Cole Porter song. If we're looking for songs written by women, then give me a minute to think about it.

Kate Bush, The Man With The Child In His Eyes, and And So Is Love.

Most of the torch songs were by male songwriters of the Tin Pan Alley days, so it's hard to think of modern ones.

Call Me Maybe is one of my favorite f perspective songs. More infatuation than love, but I think many of the male perspective love songs are more infatuation than love, too.

every song and cover by carly rae jepsen through emotion is about her limerence.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=jCFh0lJ-WAg

https://www.dropbox.com/s/nti2mwmm7v2lc9y/a%20scar%20no%20one%20else%20can%20see.pdf

I've always preferred "Run Away With Me" when it comes to the Jepsen ouevre, though for my money the best version is the Adam Neely arrangement...

That reminded me of Come Away with Me, which has lyrics that could apply to either sex, but was recently sung by Norah Jones.

I don't know about common in absolute terms. And I'm also no country music connoisseur. But I have memories of Dolly Parton writing a lot of love songs about men from a woman's perspective. And Dolly Parton was (is?) a pretty big deal.

Young and Beautifu

I actually read Lana Del Ray "Young and Beautiful" Lyrics. And it to me seems like she said "I've seen the world, done it all". It is kind of defeatist music.