domain:traditionsofconflict.com
self_made_human
Grippy socks, grippy box
1d ago
I'm sorry. That is not an easy position to be in. Your wife might know all the things that a shrink or gynecologist might say, but they seem hollow or unhelpful when you try to apply them to yourself.
If I can say something somewhat hopeful, what basis do you have to claim 30% odds of there being a genetic abnormality? You frame it as one that's present in either your or or partner, as fetuses can get them de novo even if the parents are alright.
It's been a while since I brushed up on my chromosomes, but my understanding is that only ~5% of couples experiencing repeated miscarriages have an underlying chromosomal problem. I presume those are balanced reciprocal translocations, Robertsonian ones and so on.
Have you guys been karyotyped? Did one of the doctors specifically relay this to you, or is this something you've been trying to figure out yourself? Ask your wife for more details, I expect they've been giving her a far more detailed debrief than you've received, or at least she understood more of it by virtue of medical training.
In the absence of more information, I'd be very averse to ascribing your difficulties to such. Even if that's the case, there's reason to hope that IVF would help! Something like PGT-SR would help identify viable embryos that have dodged the bullet. IVF is expensive, but I expect the two of you can afford it. I wish you guys well, and hopefully you come out of this with the happy family you deserve.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
1d ago
That's fine, but doesn't imply it would be that much easier for an assassin to bribe his way through?
hydroacetylene
1d ago
No, ‘your intern deserves protections from being asked to have an affair with you’ is something that modern neo-morality and tradcon morality would agree on, although they would phrase it differently. Modern neo-morality is all about trying to find ways in which consent isn’t really consent when the tradcons would disapprove, because consent is a woefully insufficient standard.
The moral majority probably wouldn’t have seen it as wrong for a boss to date his intern/employee if he was single. But the idea that an extramarital affair is much worse if it’s with your employee, or with an impressionable teenager, is pretty core to moral majority views about sex.
SSCReader
1d ago
I'm not at an age where I have to worry about significant medical expenses, but later down the line, one must confront the choice between cheap/quick/quality. The NHS errs on the side of the former.
It does. Which is why in the US I had like 5 people call me (pharmacist, nurse, Drug company rep, pharmacy tech, doctors office) before my infusion, all that cost disease money over here is at least employing people!
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
1d ago
Blue Tribe people make Blue Tribe institutions. Which is the chicken and which the egg?
A brief look at the recent history of the awakening clearly shows the ideas flow from the institutions to the children, with parents having very little to say about it outside of "it's just a couple crazy kids on college campuses".
RoyGBivensAction
Zensunni Scientologist
1d ago
Keep in mind that the official explanation is that the prison was an absolute clownshow where the cameras were falling apart so frequently that both of the ones aimed at Epstein's cell just so happened to be not working, and both of the guards on duty fell asleep at the same time.
I'm not arguing with your other points, but having dealt with jails & prisons, that level of clownshow strikes me as completely believable.
Not sure which comic said a joke to the tune of - pedophilia is liking kids, ephebophilia is liking underage, the problem is you can't explain the difference without sounding like a pedophile.
Since pedophilia is the last standing hard taboo in the society, there is a incentive to push it's boundaries ever higher. Because the other sticks just got softer - no one is scared of being caller racist, sexist or phobic anymore. To the point where some fringe activists include even persons above 18 to it. Which will lead of course to dilution, people discarding accusation more easily and give the Jimmy Savile's and Epstein's even more freedom. But this will be in 10 years.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
Yeah, ‘bill Clinton treats young women like he’s bill Cosby’ seems like common, barely even denied knowledge on the progressive left. Few will bring it up, even if trying to laundry list powerful men getting away with it, despite being a much more central example than most of those they will bring up.
RoyGBivensAction
Zensunni Scientologist
1d ago
Based on my experiences dealing with prisons & jails:
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Bribing a prison guard doesn't take that much money. In my state, quite a few are caught every year smuggling drugs into facilities for paltry amounts of money, and certainly paltry amounts when compared to the pension/benefits they're losing for the rest of their life.
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Bribery isn't the only avenue. Intimidation also works. "Oh hey, you have family at [address]. Nice family. How about you take a nap on date/time and make sure you're away from cell block X."
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The guards can be in on it to some extent, and they're generally no bigger fan of accused child molesters than the general public. Plus getting other inmates to commit murder isn't impossible. In one facility I'm aware of, several accused child molesters kept ending up as cellmates to a particular accused murderer (who had been molested as a child). Those accused child molesters kept having unfortunate fatal accidents while a large group of other inmates were willing to swear the accused murderer was in the showers, at recreation, etc. The placement of those victims as his cellmates and him being informed of their charges was under the control of the guards.
So someone planning something nefarious doesn't necessarily need a well-paid, skilled hitman. They need to bribe or coerce guards into looking the other way for a few minutes (or just tell them that the guy in the cell is a child molester and he's going to get taken care of). They need an inmate who might have a grudge against child molesters and be willing to commit murder (not hard to find in most jails and prisons--guys have been beaten to death for the wrong rumor that they were a child molester). They need to get that inmate into the cell for a few minutes.
Did that happen to Epstein? I don't know. But it wouldn't require that many moving parts. I think intentionally giving him the opportunity to off himself while he was supposed to be closely watched is more likely, but most prisons & jails are incredibly shoddily-run and capable of being manipulated.
faceh
1d ago
Actual knowledge in the sense that I've read about the topic a bit. They exist, and they have extensive influence inside prisons.
I have not been to prison.
The main point I believe is that most prison gangs have a ready supply of guys who are in for life and are thus willing to commit murders if ordered to do so, and if not can still coerce someone to do a murder for them.
Most of said gangs have affiliated orgs outside the prison that can act as points of contact. Since criminals outside prison anticipate going to prison in the future, the outside guys really want to stay in the inside guys' good graces.
If you want somebody who is currently in a prison dead, this is the most straightforward approach I can think of, which avoids having to sneak your own independent contractor in and out without leaving much trace.
EverythingIsFine
Well, is eventually fine
1d ago
This particular facility is better known for several rape settlements (about guards), a beating settlement, and holding El Chapo for a bit. I don’t get the vibe that it’s the kind of jail, due to its nature as higher security, where gangs have the run of it… not to say it isn’t plagued by typical jail management stuff. I looked a bit into the history of the place. There’s a few cases where a guard smuggled in cell phones, various drugs, and lots of other contraband, but one was for two people and was a money making scheme. The other was three guards and the inmates had local gang connections (they are after all criminals from the area in many cases) however the guards didn’t. By all accounts the place was miserable - worse than Rikers said one inmate, with a mountain of lurid corroboration. El Chapo himself allegedly had a mental breakdown after staying there for a just few months. All this combines to me to suggest the normal official outcome is more likely.
Now you’ll never hear me call it impossible. It’s plausible beyond a superficial level. But far from likely. Not likely enough IMO that treating it as a worst case scenario is logical to do. For the guards to escalate to murder of a high profile suspect like that a noticeable amount of money would have to change hands and the feds are pretty good at money tracking, for whatever else they sometimes lack.
self_made_human
Grippy socks, grippy box
1d ago
I knew another doctor with ADHD who would take stimulants so he could engage in recreational reading. I found this rather perverse, but I suppose if you're trying to familiarize yourself with continental philosophy, it might help.
Just chill.
P-Necromancer
1d ago
This, as with any law, will be pursued with litigation and deliberation to work out details. The entire application of law is not based on a single sentence with no rational determination applying to it.
I mean, it won't be. Israel hasn't signed on to this statute. Apologies if I'm misunderstanding something, but right now it seems to me that:
- Aguilar claimed that M855 is some super special uniquely evil armor-piercing military combat KILLING bullet designed to KILL PEOPLE. He has a whole lengthy paragraph about specifically how bad this particular round is, questions why anyone would need it to defend themselves from an 'unarmed' populace (which is flagrantly untrue, but whatever), and then insists even issuing it is a war crime.
- I point out this is nonsense, that there's nothing remarkable about the round, and that issuing it certainly isn't a war crime.
- You said: 'No, no, obviously what he meant is the scenario in the question, that's what he's calling the war crime. It's not about M855 specifically, any lethal munition would be inappropriate.' Which, OK, is not what I think it says -- If it's not about M855 specifically, why'd he spend so long telling us how terrible it is? If he actually means they should use non-lethal weapons, why didn't he say that? -- but sure, I'll let someone on his side steelman his words. And yeah, it can be hard to speak precisely off-the-cuff, I get that. And you provided a specific cite of a specific document; what more could I ask for?
- ... But in fact the scenario you're calling a war crime -- using lethal weapons in self defense against unarmed civilians -- is not forbidden by that cite; it actually looks a lot like it's explicitly permitted. So I read the rest of the section; maybe you meant some other provision, or it's ruled out by some combination of provisions? Nope, it's not. So out of charity I did my best to come up with interpretations where it would be forbidden -- which was not at all easy, because you just invented the non-lethal-weapon requirement out of whole cloth. I didn't think any of them were particularly plausible, but I did the best I could.
- But instead of committing to one or offering your own interpretation, you just pushed it aside and baldly asserted that this behavior will be found to violate the statute once it gets to trial (which you know will never happen). I don't believe that's true, and, further, if the ICC did actually convict some Israeli for this behavior under this statute, it would do a lot to convince me that the ICC is unserious and deeply compromised and nothing at all to convince me the Israeli is a war criminal. There's room for interpretation and precedent in legal proceedings, sure, but the statute plainly doesn't say that. Even Soviet show trials had sufficient integrity to allege the accused had committed genuine crimes.
The above, along with Additional Protocol I, Article 54, “ Protection of objects indispensable to the survival of the civilian population”, which states “Starvation of civilians as a method of warfare is prohibited”, leads one to think that Israel is committing war crimes.
OK? But that's not what we're talking about. I could have provided a lengthy list of Hamas' war crimes per the statute, but I didn't because that wasn't relevant. The starvation charge has nothing to do with the carrying-lethal-weapons charge. It is actually important to get the details right in these matters, isn't it? War crimes aren't fungible, you can't just substitute another one when it turns out your initial accusation (which was at best sanewashing Aguilar's incoherent nonsense) was untrue. It's serious business and allegations, if they are to be taken seriously, ought to made with care and precision.
I feel comfortable saying neither you nor Aguilar meet this minimum standard.
I get you think Israel is really, really bad. And sure, maybe it is. But this defense is not only not convincing, it's providing ammunition to Zionists who say their opponents have no regard for the truth and will say anything at all to make them look bad because they just despise Jews that much. It's exactly the behavior I complained about in my first post: if you have rock-solid complaints, focus on those and don't make up other grievances to drive the point home. (Or defend Aguilar when he does that.) Cause right now I'm thinking you actually don't.
SSCReader
1d ago
You must be anticipating I'd say... their parents? To be a little less glib, parents and family.
Blue Tribe people make Blue Tribe institutions. Which is the chicken and which the egg?
self_made_human
Grippy socks, grippy box
1d ago
Neither patients nor I have to worry about insurance, so that's a relief!
The NHS is well past its prime. I would say it's undergoing a slow-motion collapse. If you show up to the ER with a condition that is liable to kill you in a few minutes or hours, you'll probably be seen to very quickly. Everything else takes its sweet time. Something like a routine colonoscopy might take months to get an appointment for. The wait lists are just too long.
I'm not at an age where I have to worry about significant medical expenses, but later down the line, one must confront the choice between cheap/quick/quality. The NHS errs on the side of the former.
aqouta
1d ago
You know, right now I'm listening to the news on the radio and it's another interview with someone about what is happening in Gaza.
Is it really such a stretch for people in this community to believe that a collection of NGOs staffed by the usual suspects who are the source of 100% of the information coming out of gaza might bend facts a bit?
FCfromSSC
Nuclear levels of sour
1d ago
It has to be a sea change from parents on up. Academia is a symptom not a cause.
Where do you think the parents got their views from?
SSCReader
1d ago
I'm sorry, I went through this with my first wife a few times. Including a placental abruption at 37 weeks that was devastating and 3 miscarriages at sub 10 weeks. We ended up with 3 healthy kids before she passed, so I suppose the try again advice is still the go to. At times it really is just a crap shoot.
EverythingIsFine
Well, is eventually fine
1d ago
I mean you’re citing the maximalist case, that I don’t deny happens occasionally, but sure. What I mean is that obviously bonds are relative. Bonds with whom? Is the bond of a neighbor with their longtime neighbor diminished because they have a third new neighbor? Not really (that’s how I initially parsed it). If we’re talking some kind of ambient social identity or affiliation, that’s more culture than sociality.
And I think there’s an excellent argument to be made that mere locality is a weaker bond than it used to be, with the decline of community institutions and our new media age, independent of who exactly is moving in. Plus, although I totally get where you’re coming from about ‘oh we might have less to chat about’ I think that’s not necessarily the case. If both newcomer and old timer have an interest and/or motivation to connect, it will still happen! Maybe you chat about football and they chat about soccer, to mutual interest, your Christmas invite is responded to with an Eid invite, etc. No need to be rosy here - maybe statistically there are fewer connections overall. Is that enough to matter? ‘Avoid the Polish kid Grzegorz with a weird name’ is a bit of a self fulfilling prophecy just like ‘Don’t even hang out at a food place that isn’t halal’ is too, attitude matters on both sides of the coin.
SSCReader
1d ago
Okay, once you've stopped laughing- not running the risk of Trump (and possibly Vance) continuing to gut their funding and harass them with lawsuits for as long as they can?
Indeed. But that will have to be sustained for a while. If the next President just reverts all of that, then a few years is easy enough to get through for most institutions. That's my point. It has to be a sea change from parents on up. Academia is a symptom not a cause.
RenOS
something is wrong
1d ago
Great! Sounds like you're getting a handle on things. With clawmark you don't need so much FTH, especially if you two-hand. Prioritizing STR first while only going for FTH min reqs is perfectly viable. But more FTH will of course help.
Don't equip two short ranged weapons at once. Too much wasted weight. At most a dagger with a useful skill.
SSCReader
1d ago
Ok, are you in the UK or the US? If the UK, you might be able to enlist the help of the local adult social care department as a halfway house between psychiatric treatment and therapy. We used to offer just chat sessions to people suffering stress et al. But disconnecting even from a trusted pastor sounds worrying, so social services may not be an option either as that will need voluntary engagement.
Is there a trusted family member of hers who might be able to get through to her? If it were my wife, I'd be going to her brother and her cousin she is very close with for example. Not quite an intervention perhaps, but a display that multiple people she trusts are worried.
Having said that, you know the situation better than me, but I have seen spouses sectioning their sick wives/husbands result in the end of the marriage multiple times, so just make sure to think through your options. This is a legitimately tough thing to go through so make sure you are also looking after your own health. If you're engaged with your pastor at least you have some kind of outlet.
Good luck seems inadequate, but I will wish it anyway.
anti_dan
1d ago
They have not been doing those things as evidenced by the millions of living humans in the Gaza strip
token_progressive
maybe not the only progressive here
1d ago
The history of "credible accusations" against Bill Clinton has been noted for a long time
I think you're misunderstanding me. I'm not asserting that popular opinion among younger people is that Bill Clinton raped some unnamed woman. I'm asserting that there's a significant portion of younger people on the left who would be straight-up confused by the question because his relationship with an intern is undisputed and that's obviously one where there couldn't have been meaningful consent according to their modern sexual mores (and this opinion is frequently expressed in /r/politics threads about Epstein). Since millennials are young enough that they couldn't have voted for Bill Clinton, they're a lot more willing to throw him under the bus than the older Democrats who actually control the DNC.
Does it? I can assure you in very Blue Tribe places that is not so. Maybe you can argue it flowed from Blue Tribe places to Blue Tribe academia to academia in general.
That protests happen on college campuses does not mean the colleges are responsible for the ideas those protests are expressing. As I pointed out the kids I get in my classes are already well to the left of me in general.
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