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ThomasdelVasto
Κύριε, ποίησόν με ὄργανον τῆς ἀγάπης σου
1d ago
What is your advice for getting to know the ins and outs of a local community? We just bought a house and are joining an HOA for the first time. There are various things I'm a little frustrated about in the community, but overall it seems like a good place.
We plan to stay here for a while, so I don't want to come out brandishing my frustrations first thing. How would you go about learning more about the community, outside of going to the meetings and social events and such? (which we plan to do)
Also, feel free to use this as a general thread to discuss good or bad HOA experiences! I'm curious...
Quantumfreakonomics
1d ago
Nice try New York Times.
I'm going to say about 15 miles for all of these, plus/minus 15 miles.
thrownaway24e89172
Death is the inevitable and only true freedom
1d ago
What happens when women can no longer command attention?
They will do the same thing they've always done in this situation--abuse social power to outlaw alternatives so men's only choice is to give them attention. And then whine that they get too much attention from men.
NYTReader
1d ago
Despite teenagers and young adults having less sex than they did thirty years ago, it's still trivially easy for a woman to get a man to fuck her. Apropos of my recent comment where I highlighted a Twitch streamer completing basically every sexual fantasy with over a dozen of partner by her mid-20s, a moderately attractive woman can acquire almost any man in her surrounding social environment for sexual gratification. College is one vehicle for this, as are "dating" apps for those with only a high school degree and such.
Naturally, the sexual revolution has also benefited men, at least strictly in terms of having more women to fuck. After all, more women having sex with multiple partners means men also have more lifetime sexual partners. Men have the added benefit of not being subject to the same degree of social shame for having bedded multiple women.
sohois
1d ago
There's a farm on the Isle of Dogs that is probably the closest to the average Londoner, but even outside of that are quite a few farms inside the southern boroughs
Okay, if your hypothetical came about -- what do you think they'd do? Don't just put us on the spot like that -- it sounds like you have something to say. Say it!
Add to that a growing visibility of trans women in romantic spaces
Last time I checked, only 3% of heterosexual men report that they would date a trans woman. Maybe that's increasing. But even if we granted that huge numbers of men gained a newfound interest in trans women, it simply isn't the case that trans women will form some great competition for cis women. There aren't many of them (what, like half a percentage point?), and most are not interested in heterosexual men, whether because they perceive heterosexual men aren't interested in them, or because they believe they can't build a relationship with them, or because they prefer women. We're looking at a fraction of a fraction of a percent here.
It's possible that some fraction of bisexual men will start dating men at higher rates (see the "I traded women for femboys" meme), but my understanding is that the situation for male-male pairings is that sex is easy to find, but ghosting and avoidant attachment is even more common than among straight men.
Sometimes straight men like to proclaim, "maybe I will go gay!" like a kind of protest, same way that women annoyed with men sometimes start investigating political lesbianism, but same-sex pairings are just different in important ways due to biological and cultural factors. The grass is rarely greener on the other side. Fantasies aren't going to save you, and trans women aren’t your fantasy. They’d be the first people to tell you that.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
Cats.
Probably EU countries have their own individual laws on this. I know that outside the EU, in Switzerland, you are allowed to record in public, but not allowed to publish photos or videos of people without their consent at all.
(This is interpreted as recordings where a person is the focus of the image, so if you take a picture of your friend at tourist spot and there happen to be some random people visible in the background, that's still okay.)
That means live streaming in public is essentially illegal in Switzerland, as is the popular genre of Youtube influencers harassing people in public to get a rise out of them, including those obnoxious 1st amendment “auditors” that are intentionally annoying people.
2rafa
1d ago
This happens to most formerly-pretty women past a certain age. The unlucky ones get fat or ugly by their early 20s, those who care more and stay put-together and healthy can “enjoy” (and sometimes, often even, it is enjoy, but rarely always) male attention into their early 40s. The truly valiant crusaders, the 99th percentile, the $100k deep plane facelift aficionados, can make it to 60 as milfs. But age comes for everyone lucky enough to live out a whole life, and most women make do. Some go a little crazy for a while (an overdone and trite topic in women’s literary fiction, especially of late), most don’t.
Some young women will always want male attention, but even if most young men are inside playing VR waifu simulator, my guess is there will still be enough around to offer it.
2rafa
1d ago
I was raised with a hardcore anti-tattoo worldview (both about getting them and about people who have them). My parents are both secular former hippies with liberal views on sex, abortion, modesty, whatever. I suspect it might be a Jewish thing, although my family is very secular, and I know other secular Jewish parents their age who don’t seem to care.
4doorsmorewhores
1d ago
- 3 kilometers
- 1 kilometers
- 19 kilometers, dairy
- 2 kilometers. (This is a Canadian station but the Amtrak line from NYC 'Adirondack' runs there, otherwise a station owned and operated exclusively by Amtrak is 109 kilometers)
- 6 kilometers
- 18 kilometers
Not to bury the lede this is downtown Montreal
Muninn
"Dick Laurent is dead."
1d ago
Ministry: The Lost Gospels According To Al Jourgensen by Al Jourgensen and Jon Wiederhorn.
Oopz
1d ago
What happens when women don’t get attention?
The old adage says men want sex the way women want attention. But attention, unlike sex, seems easier to come by... for now.
As dating grows more complex, and sometimes risky for men, we’re seeing the rise of alternatives: AI girlfriends, VR porn, sex robots. Add to that a growing visibility of trans women in romantic spaces, and a strange new question emerges:
What happens when women can no longer command attention?
We know what many men do when they’re denied sex or companionship. They turn inward or rage outward. Some retreat to forums. Some go monk mode. Some hit the gym. A few, tragically, turn violent.
But when women can’t get even a glance, no matter how they dress, how they walk, or how perfect their makeup is, what then?
I suspect they won't react like men.
Southkraut
The rain fell gentlier.
1d ago
The Worm Ourobouros, again and still.
Faithful Executioner: Life and Death, Honor and Shame in the Turbulent Sixteenth Century. I read a Kindle sample and found its subject matter interesting, but the actual treatment of it seemed convoluted and overly materialist, and on top of that the full book is quite expensive. I'd rather just read Frantz Schmidt's diary directly, if I could get a reasonably readable edition of it. All I find is direct scans of 19th century versions in fonts that are cute in their antiquated way, but to be quite honest I'm habituated to more accessible typography.
EdenicFaithful
Dark Wizard of Ravenclaw
1d ago
So, what are you reading?
Still on a bunch of stuff. Adding Red Dynamite: Creationism, Culture Wars, and Anticommunism in America, another open access book, to my list.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
Employers having to pay for training. This is pretty normal for skilled blue collar workers, but getting into the program might require previous academics- electrical apprenticeships generally want to know your high school algebra grade.
For lots of white collar workers I'm not sure how that system could work in practice that doesn't look a lot like a university. Are doctors going to work their way up from being CNA's?
hydroacetylene
1d ago
I think- university employees being a small group that's super confounded- it'd be better to compare freshmen at state flagships to seniors in high school. There's not that big of an age difference and state flagships usually take only the top x%.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
As I understand it there is a large cluster of people whose strengths and weaknesses come out to around average. There is a somewhat smaller cluster of people who are dumber, less athletic, uglier, etc than average, but well within normal variations. There is a smaller cluster of people who are about a standard deviation above in every trait, and an even smaller cluster that is more than two standard deviations below in every trait(tards are usually ugly and unathletic to go with it), but no corresponding cluster of people more than two standard deviations above average on every metric. Looking back at the people noticeably smarter than me who I've met, they've been overwhelmingly male so caveat about judging their looks, but their appearances follow the same distribution as everyone else's. The one woman was not very pretty but more of a slightly below average than ugly.
This isn't DnD where you have a set number of character points to spend. Some people get a better hand than others. There are beautiful, highly athletic people with genius level IQ. Not very many of them, but they exist.
Southkraut
The rain fell gentlier.
1d ago
- Stuttgart I guess, around 60km from here.
- There used to be one (several in earlier times) in town here. Not sure if it still exists. So, maybe 4km. Otherwise: No idea, I don't own a suit.
- About 20 meters, I can see hear and smell it from here. They used to farm vegetables for their own use, have some crop fields further out but I don't know which ones are theirs and what crops are on them (lots of corn is up right now in general though), and they do have good number of cows.
- Presumably it's in America, so at least one Atlantic away. But if you just mean a generic train station - about an hour on foot if you know the slippery shortcut up a hidden valley, about ten minutes by car if you take the long way. 2km away if you could fly.
- Supposedly there's one in Switzerland. There aren't any in Germany as far as I know. The closest generic supermarket is about 3km away, over in the next village.
- Stuttgart again. Somewhat over 60km, since it's on the wrong side of the city.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
I mean, I wouldn't allow these in my house, but we're used to the idea of being recorded all the time in public. Security cameras are everywhere(and one needs no special permission to put them up), there's people livestreaming, taking selfies with others in the background, etc.
Cameraphones were what killed the privacy expectation. Not these things.
2rafa
1d ago
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A couple of miles
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Less than a mile
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I didn’t know, but there are apparently dozens of commercial farms in the green belt around London, maybe 20 or 30 miles? Livestock, milk, fruits, the usual.
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The north-easternmost Amtrak station, so either Boston or somewhere in Maine if they go that far north.
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Don’t have it here, but their nearest former subsidiary Asda is ~4 miles away. The nearest Costco is like 6 or 7 miles away.
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5 miles to London City, 20 to Heathrow.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
There is massive latent demand for sex
in the economy.
Fixed it.
MayorofOysterville
1d ago
Yes I agree 100%. But in this aspect tattoos are like clothes. It's not tattoos in themselves that are bad news in terms of social signaling but the type of tattoos.
I'm on the fifth book of Card's Tales of Alvin Maker and wow, an amazing Fantasy series. It stuck in my mind as a kid because the storytelling is so good, but going back and reading it now is incredibly rewarding. I'd give it a try if American fantasy appeals to you at all.
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