Forgotpassword
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User ID: 1865
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Is this really a dunk? Both photos still substantially more attractive than the other woman, even if she's less presented in the one you've just linked.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
This is partly why the Alpha Male communities kinda work/get adherents, since it's the same messaging from both sides and yet the Alpha Male/dating bro types are the only ones who provide actual explicit instructions about what getting better/'alpha' looks like. Meanwhile the other side is 'Be better' but either doesn't spell out what that is or provides inaccurate feedback
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Yeah. Male role is more of a rubber stamp/final approval in most matchmaking-driven cultures. Indian & Chinese, from what I can see, vast majority of the matchmakers are women.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
No. He ‘did’ do better. He went to a table with better odds, and found women willing to be more receptive to him. “Do better” =! Jump through hoops for me until I’m satisfied to the point where I want to date you.
Also a lot of the 'do better' is relationship/dating-experienced link. Whilst there's a lot of baseline attractiveness stuff that can be done, there's a large factor of 'Can't get job without experience, can't get experience without job' at play
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
I feel like GDanning's interpretation is very male-brain, for lack of a better term, of the issue. In which he acknowledges Nora is attracted to her prior flame but fails to understand the dance a bit. Stuff like 'If she was so incredibly enamored, why did she never reach out on Facebook' which is like standard female-brain behavior, but mystifying to a male or substantially male thought process.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
spins a tale intermingling lots of concrete identifying facts with projections of how she felt about him.
I mean this is kind of the issue. I've got a lot of female friends, some of whom are prone to flights of romantic fancy/chronic daters, and every relationship is undoubtedly re-evaluated at the end through the lens of it having failed/that particular emotional state. I've sat through enough abortive non-relationships where one week it was booking a marriage venue, the next week the ick has been triggered and the potential paramour is/was a horrible ogre the whole time in order to be pretty skeptical of this kinda narrative.
Even sticking in the Whore thing, whilst tilting the story in favor of the feminine to most readers, seems pretty weak to anybody who's actually been in the market
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Sports is kind of a weird one.
I feel like athletic levels are higher, but also that there's more of a metagame in play in most high level sports which makes the teams a bit samey even if the players are, in absolute terms, way better than their predecessors.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
There was sort of this weird rhetorical loop between 'The Voice is a symbolic powerless body with no legal force' and 'The Voice will action real meaningful change due to its power' in which the former is probably more accurate but it never got firmly nailed down.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Modern Western society does a lot more cancellation, hecklings and punishment of the insufficiently-left than the insufficiently-Right
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Having lived in Darwin for a while, there was an essentially never-ending loop of 'Nice new accommodation is built for local indigenous, indigenous move in, Indigenous culture around extreme sharing within groups and territorial violence between groups leads to nice new accomodation becoming teeming slum, nice new accomodation is built'
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
If the referendum had been just to acknowledge indigenous people in the constitution, I feel it'd have gotten over the line. Tying it to adding another body for Indigenous advocacy to the untold score of them that already exist was the issue.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
The thing that strikes me with the decolonization rhetoric is that so many people espousing it don't seem to recognize the position of intense historical privilege they live in. Yes, there's issues with 2023 society, but the vast majority of people with access to Twitter live in comfort unimaginable even 60 years ago.
The entire 'Indigenous Voice referendum' in Australia discussion has been providing so many examples of this, in which there's a ton of focus on 'English colonization bad' coupled with an unspoken assumption that the Indigenous would otherwise have been left completely unmolested by anybody else and somehow emerged as a Western Multicultural democracy via process of Wakandization by now. It makes a coherent argument difficult.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Most of those were self-inflicted issues for the superpowers in question, and it's very 'we are establishing norms of conduct which, whilst it'd be nice if everybody followed, it doesn't seem the current losers would follow if they were on top.'
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Lot easier to die at 20 than to die at 140.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
I do think simultaneously that being a CEO is hugely demanding in terms of mental ability and time consumption, but also there's a ton of Fisher Kingness attributed to whoever happens to have the top job and they're largely fairly interchangeable.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Technically the biggest celebrity in human history is a star carpenter!
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
I've kind of got mixed feelings on this.
I managed to 'get over it' and land on a girl I adore who is a good match through self-improvement, which is great. But, on the other hand, I went out with a bunch of girls who are intelligent, attractive, sensible individuals with a purported interest in settling down and having kids in the next 3-4 years over the last year or two... and the vast majority are just as single as they were when we dated, from what I can see.
Whilst I'm sure part of the equation is that they are being failed by guys who could rise up and be husband material for them, I don't think that's the sole element and I don't think the current result is a happy one for society.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
If anything I'd expect Trans-related violence to have a lot more to do with Trans individuals insufficiently communicating their status and individuals reacting poorly when surprised in person, as opposed to it being especially MtF Trans-perpetrator.
Especially in multicultural societies in which there's a whole spectrum of attitudes to, and awareness of trans people, in which non-clear communication can lead to... friction.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Same.
I've experienced dating apps as an unattractive male and experienced them as a reasonably-attractive male, and it's night & day. Having all the game in the world wouldn't have saved me with my initial profile, but once you've optimized yourself a bit it's not super difficult
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
I mean when I was in my Online Dating grind phase, it really was just a matter of 'get myself to a level of attractiveness to ensure a steady flow of new prospects and then don't pursue difficult prospects too hard since there's others on the burner'.
But as somebody who probably went from a 4/10 to a 8/10, mostly due to weightloss and poor presentation of my profile initially, I can sympathize that as a 4/10 the prospects are sporadic as hell and that there's an inherent scarcity mindset involved.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
I think this explanation excludes the reality that often women simply change their minds.
Or just there's a bunch of occluding factors. If dating was a simple peer-to-peer two-player game a lot of this would be more intuitive, but there are so many factors going into success and failure.
Maybe she said no the first time since she was dating another guy, maybe she'd given up on online dating that day and rediscovered her resolve a week later since her best friend met a nice guy on Hinge, maybe she was in a bad mood, maybe you were one of 10,000 messages in her inbox and didn't pitch anything super interesting etc etc etc
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
It's better to be too forward than to be too passive, since atleast being too forward allows you to get feedback which allows for calibration of your approach for the next time.
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
I do agree that an interested woman will make efforts to meet, but I also feel that dynamic is better expressed after an in-person meeting. Before an in-person meeting, if you're in any sort of metro online dating marketplace, you are one of a cast of 1000s in the inbox of anything female presenting.
The whole interaction really begins after/during the first in-person meeting
Forgotpassword
1yr ago
Because by the dynamic of online dating you are one of 100,000,000 leads in any female-presenting individual's inbox and therefore don't really exist as something to form an attachment with until there's actually an in-person meeting.
The amount of times that it's gone from glacial response rates prior to a first date to a warm and accommodating human being after a chance to meet is pretty amazing, along with textual chemistry rather frequently giving away to dealbreakers upon 5 minutes of actually meeting.
Not saying she's some vision of loveliness but like nice pic was her as a 7.5, less-nice pic was her as a 6 and the other woman a 3 to me
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