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PaperclipPerfector  3d ago (text post)   1921 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for January 11, 2026

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

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Does anyone have any advice around relationships counselors in Western countries? Particularly regarding 'counselors' (eg did a counseling course with accreditation) vs actual trained psychologists. I'm looking at seeing one individually, but unsurprisingly there aren't any male counselors available so I'm trying my luck with a female one. I'm concerned that a woman won't be able to properly empathise with a male point of view, and might balk at certain 'how the sausage gets made' conversations.

This isn't for anything critical, just relationship advice regarding my specific situation (with details I wouldn't share here, even incognito).

I am dating a zoomer who thinks “Everyone should go to therapy regularly even if there are no specific problems, it’s just a health checkup for the brain!”. This means, apparently, both singles therapy and couples therapy. We have just the one female counsellor who serves all three roles (her individual sessions, my individual sessions, and the couples sessions). Which I’m sure must be a conflict of interest, but whatever, I go to indulge my adorable basket case of a zoomette, not to be the professional ethics police.

Sample size N=1, but I have absolutely found, as you suspected, that she is completely unable to empathise with the male perspective on anything.

Wild dynamic - your gf is essentially demanding another person be in your relationship! I wonder what she gets out of it.

Wild dynamic - your gf is essentially demanding another person be in your relationship!

The more the merrier.

If one wants to add to the throuple and expand into a polycule, one could consider one or all of the following to accompany the therapist (LMFT) for additional Expert advice:

  • Financial advisor (CFA)
  • Financial planner (CFP)
  • Tax accountant (CPA)
  • Tax attorney (JD)
  • Estate lawyer (JD)

Neither of those would go any further into the family relationships than "discuss important stuff with your SO". All of those are pure technical roles that help dealing with outside world, not your relationship.

All of those, when hired by a couple, involve balancing the individual concerns of the two members of the couple and navigating the tradeoffs between the utility functions of one and the other. Aka, dealing with the relationship.

I don't think CPA is going to do that. A CPA would say "talk between yourselves and decide what you want, then tell me and I'll tell you how to do it". So would any professional. If I hire a painter and I tell him I want the wall in teal and my wife wants it in beige then the painter won't mediate between us, he'll say "well, figure out between yourselves which color you want and call me when you have it".

Depends on the CPA’s specialty. If he does estate planning, trusts, etc then he might.

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