The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Is it wrong to look at girls in the gym?
If it’s wrong then why do the all wear form fitting clothing or even more like a sporty bra? Why do some of their workout moves look a little like sexual movements (though they do have a legit exercise component)?
It’s not wrong until they start getting uncomfortable. The point of uncomfortableness depends on a lot of variables such as local/gym culture, your attractiveness, what you mean by looking etc. Assessing this somewhat accurately is a skill we call “not being autistic”.
Women work out their hips as it’s the only muscle group they can keep growing and contributes to their attractiveness. Women moving their hips in tight clothing looks erotic.
It’s not wrong if they start getting uncomfortable either. Your gaze, your choice. Look as much as you’d like, kings. It’s not like the modal gym thot would give the slightest of fucks about your comfort.
Men don’t have a duty to read minds, be attractive and not be unattractive, and police themselves lest chicks feel less than maximally comfortable in their forever quest to be sex objects and farm sexual attention. Freedom to wear skimpy outfits is not freedom from discomfort if a man wishes to look where he wants. Chicks can always just wear more clothing if they don't like the sexual attention they're getting.
I only police myself over checking out gym thots in case an opportunity pops up later to chat them up, and I don’t want to preemptively give them the Ick for no good reason. Or I don’t want to self-sabotage future approaches with other chicks in case a given gym thot might gossip about her remembering some time in the past where I gave her the Ick from looking at her. Additionally, I don’t like giving chicks the sexual attention they crave without me getting anything out of it. I’m not running a validation-providing charity for attention whores over here.
What you are describing is just destroying the commons, and not that different than what the women hanging out in the gym semi naked and filming themselves are achieving. “Commons” here being the culture of both sexes doing sports together without the involved women being viewed as whores. The end game of your strategy is rural India or Middle East, where men are infinitely horny and treat any mixed space as a sexual harassment contest, so mixed spaces either disappear or are put behind strict class barriers and women are constantly on guard against any men around them in public. It sucks. Don’t do this.
Of course, in Western countries we simply have the reverse, where women treat any mixed space as a sexual harassment contest, and men are constantly on guard against any women around them in public (re: Pence Rule).
That sucks too, but I'm not the one that has to moderate to fix it.
More options
Context Copy link
If the options are "Cooperate with defect bot" or "Defect against defect bot", the latter wins every time. If you don't want that end scenario, start undoing the damage of the ones who turned every male space into a mixed space and destroyed all the checks on their harassment.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
This is the best reason not to look. I'm happy to provide some validation that addresses their daddy issues, but they have to be offering me more than wearing some skimpy clothing around the gym.
Nah, I'll validate as much as they want. Doesn't cost me anything, and I don't need anything to be offered, really.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Usually when someone goes viral for ick guy was looking at me it’s some tatted up chick who’s not that hot.
Gym bros wear completely different clothing that doesn’t show off so I don’t think tight lulus etc are for comfort. It’s what they are socially allowed to wear to be hot and get attention and I think they like it.
I believe I have seen articles on female only gyms and they always fail and no one goes to them.
I don’t think that’s true about female only gyms. There are many successful ones around me. Clientele skews Muslim but really not that much
More options
Context Copy link
I haven't been to the gym in a while, but I don't think gym bros tend to wear completely different clothing than women; they do tend to wear tights like women do. Because tights allow for less friction and more mobility while doing exercises, especially if sweat is involved. It's just that, due in part to anatomical differences, wearing only tights for the bottom is considered inappropriate for men while it isn't for women, and so the gym bros also usually wear a regular pair of athletic shorts over them. Even then, this isn't universal, and outside the gym, cyclists get an exception, probably because their junk is flush against a bike seat most of the time and so not noticeable regardless.
I certainly do think that the reason many young women are drawn to go to the gym is because of the costume rather than the health and more than the long-term attractiveness benefits. And I think that's a reflection of the reality of how sexy and practical converge in female clothing for gym purposes (and, in general, many/most athletic purposes).
More options
Context Copy link
Speak for yourself. I'm mostly in either a tank top or shirtless when I'm in a public gym.
More options
Context Copy link
Really? That's interesting. Although consider one possibility why that might be.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Why I thought this was more of a fun thing. Most girls besides online too much feminists want some male glaze. My workout clothes and fairly common for a man is like basketball shorts and a t-shirt. It doesn’t highly body parts. Female gym clothes are often form fitting lululemon stuff, 30-50% of the time the top exposes the stomache and even actually breast material. A few percent you can make out actual vagina lips.
Those outfits provide a small performance gain but greatly stimulate the male attention. Plausible deniability of wanting attention.
And yes female interests in hip exercises and squatting is primarily to develop their body for male interests or their husband. Combined with form fitting closing it’s a lot for the reptilian parts of the male brain.
Most interesting thing is if I ran a poll female only “Should men eye fuck girls at the gym”. It would be 100% no. But actual female fashion trends optimize for that.
Hm. Intentional or typo?
Typo. But a funny one for this conversation. To be clear I am not advocating for rape because a girl wore some lululemon and was doing squats.
Just that they likely like the fact guys are noticing them.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
The company logo features a semi-abstract/plausibly deniable picture of the back side view of a woman bending over. They know what they're doing.
Also, the founder chose their name because he thought it would be funny to hear Japanese tourists try and say it.
Ironically it's rather easy for Japanese to say very comprehensibly. Something like sitting sportswear would be tough.
There is a fast food restaurant called "First Kitchen" here. It is abbreviated by almost all to ファッキン. If you can read that, you get the joke.
There are a lot of restaurants named Pho King...
A joke I tell whenever I walk past a particular restaurant.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
haha
Have you heard of the clothing chain "French Connection United Kingdom"?
I've seen the t-shirts. I actually believe most Japanese naïvely have no idea that their abbreviating First Kitchen sounds like the term fucking. Some younger people might, but even they don't really seem to hear it. It's not intentional adolescent cleverness.
This is a land where an extremely overweight, deep voiced transvestite has his own TV show that has zero to do with being an overweight deep voiced transvestite. There's a willful blindness to irony and/or satire in Japan (and a surprising--to me--amount of cross-dressing.) But then there's a great deal of Japanese comedy that I just don't get.
it would honestly be more surprising to me if they didn't cross-dress; I'd actually kind of expect a race of people that seem to possess a below-average amount of sexual dimorphism -> they can pull it off more convincingly to be more into it on average
your example is kind of exhibit A there, but in fairness he's not wearing the female battle standard of 'literally all the makeup'
Yeah, there seems to be a lot of the 'that' emotion in play. I don't have a word for it; I don't have a word for the 'this' emotion that makes you appreciate intentional adolescent cleverness either, though its opposite/suppressant seems to come from prudishness/disgust reflex; maybe if [the thing that suffers disgust] is the group you get more of the 'that' emotion, since the 'this' emotion doesn't really work if [the thing targeted for disgust] is not you.
Considering how many puns Japanese media tends to contain, at least to my eyes, there's very little 'this'.
Do members of more homogenous cultures inherently possess more willing suspension of disbelief?
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link