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Wellness Wednesday for February 28, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Just drink bro. Everything good that has happened to me has been a result of drinking. The only thing that really helps is if you want to take charcoal pills. But that just makes it so you can drink more without a hangover. 85% of the people on this forum are interesting high IQ shut-ins that wouldn't know what to do with a vodka shot if it spat in their face.

It makes TV and movies 10x better. It makes conversation 3x easier. It is all around a huge life enhancer. After about 1.5 to 3 drinks you'll be in the "Ballmer peak" where you are actually smarter, more coordinated and much more charming than you are with zero alcohol.

I kind of hate that I like myself better when I'm 2 drinks in, and suddenly social situations are 'easy' to navigate, I'm more witty and charming and let slights roll of me without a care.

If alcohol didn't cause all those other health problems in the long term, I'd probably keep myself in a constant state of light inebriation except when I really needed to call on my self-control.

There's actual tech devoted towards curing hangovers danger now which would certainly remove some of the reluctance.

Yeah, that's what happens when you just drink.

The other replies are exactly what you'd expect.

Absurd to pretend like food and TV isn't sometimes improved with alcohol. Or that the ballmer peak of sociability doesn't exist.

Or that drinking until you're hungover is a requirement? All these supplements, when a pickle, 2 cups of water, and ibuprofen, will completely solve your problem.

Yup. It is like this here and on slatestar. Bunch of tea totalers. Social drinking would solve 80% of the "I'm lonely" posts.

Between that and acting like getting into a fist fight is mortal danger, I sometimes feel like I've been beamed to another planet.

Yup I've had 2 replies already that have straight up called me an alcoholic for suggesting drinking might be fun and improve your enjoyment of certain activities. Which it 100% without a doubt does. Same people would probably think I'm suicidal for skiing without a helmet or picking fights when the singing is done on south bank of the Liffey. Life is for living. Not sneering.

I feel sorry for people that don't drink, because when they wake up in the morning, that is the best they are going to feel all day-” ― Frank Sinatra/Dean Martin

No, people called you an alcoholic because you suggested drinking as a solution to someone's problems. Which I think is harsh but I get it. If someone needs alcohol to enjoy activities, then that's a strong sign of alcoholism.

I said they make them better and more enjoyable. He said he wanted to start drinking again to have more enjoyable interactions. I think it is a good idea. No one said anything about need. I was just pointing out what billions of people know already. Alcohol makes a lot of stuff more fun. Apparently that is a trigger in online rationalist adjacent spaces.

I mean I disagree with the idea that alcohol makes things more fun, as I said in another comment. But even if I did think that was true, I think that while you might not need alcohol to enjoy life, it's still bad advice to tell someone "hey if you aren't enjoying life you should drink". Because in that case, the person you are talking to would wind up needing alcohol to enjoy life and that's a terrible thing.

"Needing" a couple beers to enjoy hanging out with your buddies at a bar is not, in fact, a terrible thing. This is particularly true for definitions of "need" that aren't fully compulsive.

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He was proposing drinking in a social situation once a week. Hardly the path to addiction and death. Billions of people drink, it is because it makes them feel good and makes things more fun.

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How does that solve the long term problems, i.e. significantly increased risks of all sorts of illnesses?

I think drinking 2-3 times a week is absolutely worth the cost, from all the articles I've read.

I make the same decision about Philly Cheesesteaks and fast food.

If you're maximizing longevity of life over quality, that's a valid decision, but I've never been interested in that.

Fair, but I'll just add: Longevity is likely to affect quality, too. Low quality years marred by sickness are likely to come sooner and take up more of your lifespan if you haven't respected your health.

I agree with you there, too.

Alcohol is the opposite of a wonder drug. I've drank it 5 days a week and 0, and the latter is preferable. Especially as I age, I see it's role as far more minor in my life.

All that being said, some of the best nights of my life have involved it as a central theme. The best relationships have had it greasing the skids. The most delicious foods have been complimented by some form of alcohol. Those of you who are eschewing it completely while your body can handle the downsides of the toxin may be missing out on more than a bit. I don't think a drug lasts this long and has such a stranglehold on our species for 0 reason.

My experience with alcohol is completely different. I will not offer studies and data but only my personal anedcotes - my "lived experience" if I may.

I find even the smell of alcohol nauseating and I had never tasted alcohol until 18 despite the Italian legal age being 16. Due to this I've gotten drunk only once and it was an experience that I can descrive only as the one of the most horrible things that I've ever happened to me. It was not the hangover that upset me so much as the emotional state that alcohol provoked. It turns out that alcohol makes me really really depressed, in a very existential way: I start to think about how everything is useless and life is ultimately meaningless and worthless. On one hand, this is what I actually think, on the other hand these thoughts generally stay in a way analytical, cold part of my mind; alcohol makes me feel these thoughts, they become emotions: the terror, the despair, the feeling of the Nothingness that was, is and will be beyond. It was terrifying. For me it was a "Never again" moment.

As with everything, I think there is a strong genetic component in people reactions to alcohol.

As with everything, I think there is a strong genetic component in people reactions to alcohol.

For sure. And, for what it's worth, despite being an advocate of 2-5 drinks (depending on body weight and tolerance) I also get unbelievably morose and existential beyond that.

IDK man. I drink occasionally, and I disagree that it actually makes food taste better or makes relationships better. I drink because I enjoy the taste of some drinks, not because it actually enhances other things.

Red wine with chicken parm, and white with piccata? Bourbon with Conecuh or steak? A beer before barbecue? Margaritas and burritos? We're talking about our individual palates at one level, but these are classic pairings.

For relationships, alcohol is an intimacy accelerator. When you only have one night to get someone's attention, it's incredibly valuable. Most people aren't capable of talking deeply about philosophy or what they need from a relationship within 5 minutes of meeting you, in fact, it's creepy unless you've had a drink or two.

I'm a huge fan of beer, wine, and particularly whiskey, but I'm with /u/SubstantialFrivolity personally on that alcohol doesn't enhance the experience of eating foods, except for the intrinsic quality of the drink itself. Like, it's nice to eat beer with a burger at a bbq or have Margaritas with burritos or even red wine with chicken parm, but I see those as more aesthetic preferences than anything about the way the tastes go together. Same reason why I prefer to have East Asian-looking servers when I go to a Korean restaurant.

I'd say being drunk can sometimes increase the sense of hunger I feel, which indirectly makes the experience of eating foods better, but in terms of the influence on the direct experience of the taste, it actually dulls it, if anything.

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I mean... wine and beer both taste horrible imo, so those aren't going to work for me. But yeah even with drinks I actually like, I have never found that alcohol enhances food.

edit: forgot the other half of your comment

I don't personally find that anyone is incapable of having deep conversations about philosophy or whatever even if they don't know you well. If they found it creepy, as you said, then they obviously aren't someone I'm going to ever get along with. I fail to see why I would want to try to use alcohol to make us get along in that case. There are lots of other people to hang out with, if we don't click it's not a big deal.

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I agree that it can have real upsides. I drink a couple of units sometimes, like with a gourmet meal or when meeting a friend I haven't seen in a while. It's just the habit that I want to remain free of. Better to wait for the right occasion, and then drink something especially delicious, than to try to use alcohol to create an occasion. :)

It makes TV and movies 10x better. It make conversation 3x easier.

Maybe for deeply addicted alcoholics unable to function without their fix.

Spoken like an alcoholic, to be honest. It does not necessarily make TV or movies better. You're just using it to adjust your mood. You get your fix, you feel happy, you get in the flow of enjoying stuff. Thinking you're smarter while significantly inebriated is very much an illusion too. It wrecks any complex thinking, while making you think it doesn't. Your conversation will flow easier, sure, but discerning people will identify you as a faucet.

It's better IMO to put down the emotional/mental baggage that hinders your enjoyment of sober life instead of relying on an unhealthy crutch... This is not to say that people should never drink, but it should be done more deliberately, and less, rather than reaching to it several times per week as a fix or 'enhancement'.

Kinda harsh man. Sounds like you could use a beer.

If you're wasted out of your gourd then yes you'll be annoying to be around. But a night out with friends, office party, a wedding or a thanksgiving meal are all a ton more fun when the booze is flowing, even a deep chat with a best pal you only see once a year is better when you've both had a few drams of whisky. I'm sorry that hasn't been your experience. My comment was about OP deciding to drink once a week while socializing. You really think agreeing with that sentiment makes someone an alcoholic?