domain:alethios.substack.com
Pair bonding is not a thing for guys.
I often doubt if I have anything of value to his not subreddit except anecdotes, but, hey, I believe I have a worthwhile anecdote.
"Pair bonding is not a thing for guys" is one of the takes that just too alien to any and all life experience that I had. Majority of males that I know clearly had have a pair-bonding going on. Everyone I know of who I have had the opportunity to observe closely enough (mostly, extended family) and had a serious long-term relationship and the relationship ended were evidently emotionally confused and miserable for quite some time afterwards. No everyone was dramatically devastated, but given the aftereffects after the bond broke, it is simply implausible to argue the guy had not emotionally pair-bonded, unless the words are twisted beyond their meaning.
I have fallen romantically in love exactly enough times to recognize that yes, I am capable of pair bonding.
Sure, I guess there are guys who don't pair-bond. I hear about them and I sort-of know of such people, but not very well, never got to know them. Wouldn't be surprised they are over represented in redpill. Perhaps it is one of those correlations where "like attracts like", or maybe it is actively causal, enough of PUA kills one part of the male mind which is capable of romantic notions. Am not surprised at all they are underrepresented in a convenience sample of "middle aged men who had a family and/or widowed pensioners (and relatives with offspring who could observe them)", PUA doesn't seem big on family-formation.
It's qualitatively different than stereotypical female-coded pair-bonding, true. It does not follow immediately from sex act. I suspect without traditional Western cultural constraints, many men could imagine themselves with a wife and a long-term mistress or two, with romantic pair-bond going on in different stages, and some concubines without any real feeling. Yet, the reality is that the WEIRD Western liberal city-dwelling places have officially dismissed the traditional Western cultural constraints and embraced non-monogamy ex cathedra,but I am not be surprised either that surprisingly few men are capable of acting on such fantasies, in particular if the guy has ancestry from the European part behind the Hajnal line.
Sometimes I wonder if the received wisdom about stereotypical female pair-bonding is wrong, too. It certainly can't be any hard rule, there are far too many women who seem to be totally on board with the promiscuity project or becoming party who jumps ship and initiates actions that make the serial monogamy serial. Middle aged women seem to have as good or better chances of successfully bouncing back from their divorces.
Tree
1d ago
Nah he's usually pretty friendly, with other men... It's only when you threaten to cut off his goolies while simultaneously confessing lower status that he becomes this aggressive.
urquan
Hold! What you are doing to us is wrong! Why do you do this thing?
1d ago
Oh, yeah, I had the same experience a long time ago. It happens, I guess.
We really do need the bidet in the west. I have basically trained my digestive system to be almost perfectly regular, and I shower every time I have a bowel movement so I can keep things clean.
My general policy is to extend maximum charity and assume good faith until proven otherwise.
Funny enough, I use similar principles when dating, and I get burned for it on occasion.
netstack
Texas is freedom land
1d ago
Can you, uh, rely on the most miserable, desperate portion of the population to make optimal decisions? Optimal for the rest of us, that is. It’s not like they’re going to be around to clean up.
In the best case, that’s first responders removing a body. I think most cases are messier, more personal, or otherwise worse. They’re externalities to the suicide. Mitigating those is worth something.
incentivizing profits
Okay, but that’s a fully general argument against doing stuff. Plenty of companies are naturally incentivized towards collateral damage. We generally handle this by regulating them instead of banning their industry outright.
sun_the_second
could survive a COD lobby and a gay furry discord server
1d ago
Sloot talks like this all the time. If he felt particularly threatened or incensed by the castration comment, it did not show.
Tree
1d ago
It sounded to me like you thought sloot's inflammatory tone came out of nowhere. But it was the equivalent of an inflammatory response by a woman to a 'misogynistic' policy someone here might propose.
phailyoor
1d ago
That’s disgusting: scrolling on Instagram, watching TV shows, and having sex with various women. How does he meet these women and how does he seduce them? Just so I know how to avoid such a lifestyle.
Any app can be a dating app, Instagram included.
self_made_human
Sajjano durjano bhūyāt, durjano badhyatāṃ sadā, baddho'nyān nibandhāyet
1d ago
This wasn't even anal sex. The aroma hit me during doggy :(
What's worse is that, like you said, the lady in question was far more of a freak about fastidious cleaning than I ever was.
How could you extrapolate from what you've seen (As a lawyer? As a politician? Have you ever worked in politics? Have you ever been to a legal society meeting?) to a country with a different legal and political culture? Why not just ask these politicians why they support what they do, they will probably just tell you. You can glean from interviews that he sees Israel as a strong military ally against a number of nearby states that the USA is hostile towards. Why is that less convincing to you than a conspiracy theory?
phailyoor
1d ago
The whole point of pursuing money and status through your career is to gain access to women. If you can cut out the middle man, why not? What's a job other than working 40 hours a week to make your bosses richer?
Actually, the point is to have the money to buy sports cars, rolexes, guns, night vision goggles, Japanese wagyu steaks, RTX graphics cards, etc. And no, there aint a bitch in the world who gives a single damn that you have those things. Those are boy toys.
And if you have game you can get laid all you want with hot women without any of those things. If you have the money for a normal apartment, Toyota Corolla, and decent clothes at the outlet mall, the rest is 100% on you having game. (Unless of course you're filthy filthy rich and don't mind gold diggers.)
Oof. Hm. Never tried anal sex and it's not my kind of thing, but I've never gotten the impression that the women I've seen would be exceptionally angry about it.
If anything, women I've dated have been more interested in sexual cleanliness than me, particularly for themselves. I'm not sure, "you stink" would be considered a wonderful thing to say, but I don't have any doubt that I could express what was going on and it would all be okay in the end, even if feelings were hurt in the moment.
Tree
1d ago
Your justifications are all over the place and incoherent. They boil down to resentment. Lotharios don't need to lie to those women to sleep with them (what are they, proposing? In this day and age?). And obviously you don't castrate people for not being maximally productive. Nor for being too hot ('make standard dudes invisible').
If Sloot or anyone else wishes to object to the policy of castrating or killing "Lotharios", they are as free to make their case as those in favor. I think the ludicrous nature of such a policy is sufficiently evident that arguing against it is a waste of my time; others who judge differently are free to discuss as they will. We allow people to make foolish and even insane arguments here, because we are not interested in accepting responsibility for policing which ideas/positions/ideologies are good and which are not.
What we do not allow is commenters using their posts to directly attack each other, or wind each other up. It seems obvious to me that this is what @Sloot did, and doing so is a violation of several rules here.
It's also worth pointing out that the interpretation of the rules that I am applying here is the reason @Sloot has not himself been banned up to this point. He routinely makes comments that could be described as "petty" and "mean", as well as "advocating hardline policies". He usually does so from behind a level of abstraction similar to that employed by @thejdizzler above, which helps a great deal to keep him on the right side of the line.
JarJarJedi
1d ago
How do you all interact with LLMs?
Two ways:
-
as a search engine where I don't have to think about how their algorithm works to construct a query that would find what I need. Very successful usually, unless it's too obscure for it to be actually indexed.
-
As a simple code generator when the task is too simple to bother learning about it myself. Worked in about 90% cases for me - I only use it if I can describe the task in one or two clear sentences. If it's more complex than that, I'd usually have to design it myself - though I could split it into elementary tasks that could be generated.
Failed attempts:
- Getting instructions on doing something that I couldn't verify if the instructions are correct or not until the final result. The final result came out not at all what I wanted pretty much always. I've given up on using it that way.
- Writing some texts I am too lazy to write myself. Usually the result had AI stench so horrible that I ended up trashing the whole thing and writing it myself anyway. Gave up on that too.
The thought of having "conversations" with it seems to me as weird as the thought of having conversations with a refrigerator. I mean, I love having one - in fact, I have multiple ones (OK, it's more correct to say my wife has multiple ones because it was her request) and I would be greatly inconvenienced if I had to live without one - but "conversations" is not part of the picture here. I usually set up a system prompt explicitly instructing it to stop being chatty and just give me the dried out info.
No, the second would be way, way more offensive.
‘Fuckbois who lead women on should get their dick chopped off’ will make people laugh or grimace depending on how you say it, but ‘women should be kept chaste for marriage’ will get you labelled as an misogynist and people will vanish at the speed of light.
self_made_human
Sajjano durjano bhūyāt, durjano badhyatāṃ sadā, baddho'nyān nibandhāyet
1d ago
Let's just say that when I did disclose it, a long time later, it went about as well as I expected. Your wife sounds far more amenable to critique than the average.
birb_cromble
1d ago
Last week, I spoke briefly about the SIG P320, also known as The Gun That Goes Off By Itself.
Since then, there has been a new development in the case that serves as a flashpoint for the current events that surround it.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/air-force-announces-arrest-related-201251351.html
Since then, the investigation has progressed and an individual has now been arrested on suspicion of making a false official statement, obstruction of justice, and involuntary manslaughter,
Allegedly, the event that caused multiple government agencies and private ranges to ban the use of the P320 and its variants is being investigated as a case of manslaughter rather than an Uncommanded Discharge.
This sequence of events is interesting to me, as it seems to be a very concrete example of several trends I've noticed in group thought, regardless of the context or subculture.
- The old thing is always good. The new thing is always bad.
- Taboos are quick to be implemented, and slow to be repealed: generally functioning as a ratchet.
- There will always be a subset of the population who will continue to believe something, and take refutation of their stance as proof that they are actually right.
With respect to the first point, it's interesting to look back in history. When striker fired pistols first became popular in the form of the Glock, people frequently complained that they were unsafe, with terms like "Glock leg" and "Glocknade" embedding themselves in the lexicon. Even the Beretta M9, looked upon favorably now, was an object of fear, with whispered rumors that the slide would fly off and put a hole through your skull. In both cases there was a kernel of truth to the aspersions, much like how a pre-2018 P320 was not drop safe.
On the second point, my local rod and gun club banned the P320 after the air force did the same. Multiple members have asked for clarification, and the board is pointedly not offering a response. This behavior appears in multiple domains, with sexual misconduct accusations being the most immediate comparison that comes to mind.
The third point reminds me of a book I read a few years ago, titled "When Prophecy Fails". It chronicles the lives of cult members after a rapture-like event does not occur at the specified time. A fraction of the believers harden their resolve and decide that the lack of a rapture only proves that the prophecy was right after all. In the case of the SIG Uncommanded Discharge, I have had extended family members claim that SIG and the DOD are conspiring to frame the arrested Airman to keep their contracts intact.
Regardless of how the story develops long term, the current environment is interesting to observe, if nothing else.
thejdizzler
1d ago
The Incels don't need to win against all Chads or even most Chads. The problem is not Chad, it's Lothario. Look, I've said it a billion times on this thread and others, my problem is not with guys who can lock down hotter girls than me (although I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous). It's with guys who churn through tens or hundreds of girls by lying about their intentions, making those girls slightly less dateable for a healthy Chad, and with standards that make relatively normal dudes invisible. In this case forced marriage, followed by castration when there's adultery, doesn't actually seem that far outside of the historical wheelhouse as a way to rein these guys in.
gattsuru
1d ago
This seems like a great opportunity to use the "hide" function in the Photos app.
There's some advantages to knowing op-sec, but there's also some strong advantages to recognizing when future you might be (probably) drunk or half-asleep, thinking with the wrong head, and making bad decisions otherwise, and recognizing that future you will not maintain the right level of op-sec and changing habits around that.
((That's not even just a photo concern. iOS will quite happily take screenshots if you hit the power and voldown button, and boy can you believe how easy it is to get accidental screenshots of stuff you don't want to be sharing with the hets.))
This seems to suggest to me that the big problem with this group is that they're cheating on women. In particular, STI testing is relatively uncommon among men who date women, and there's a lot of friction to start if you've never done it before. Or, if finding the answer would mean a messy obligation to disclose a compromising health detail to an intimate partner.
In practice, yeah, the problems that come with guys cheating on a woman with a guy is still some of the motivation. And there's a lot of other gay stereotypes about bi or closeted men, some of them moderately well-founded. The steelman is that even bi or closested gay guys who don't have and aren't looking for a woman still have some pretty significantly different behaviors than out gays do, and put different expectations on their romantic (or not-romantic) partners.
Trivially, if you're with someone that's not out, in their social environment, it puts a significant onus on you to dial down the flame lest you out them in turn. In gay social spaces, they're likely to be a lot less happy with a lot of more flamboyant behavior. Even without all of the frictions and concerns that a positive STI test result would bring to a het relationship, just getting a test done at all even knowing you're clean still involves a) talking to a professional about your sexual history, and b) doing something that's overwhelmingly advertised as important for the gay guys while you're talking to a professional about your sexual history, and having done it knowing that the professionals don't care about anything but the next break, that's really awkward from the closet.
Some of that's just blaming specific person or relationship issues on the identifiable trait -- especially in these fields, there's a lot of dramatically different expectations for how serious a hook-up's going to be open to becoming, even if I've seen almost every possible combination and direction for bi-on-gay pairs. ((Though there's some fuzziness on the edges of that. I'm not gonna say that bi guys are universally happier with the idea of a threesome, because that's probably not even remotely true. But even and maybe especially closeted gay guys will put a remarkable amount of effort into having a woman tangentially involved in ways that most out gay men will run away from.))
At a deeper level, I think there's some level of 'seen the elephant' involved in really coming to terms with being gay, specifically. But I can't say for sure, because I haven't been there.
Goodguy
1d ago
The whole point of pursuing money and status through your career is to gain access to women. If you can cut out the middle man, why not? What's a job other than working 40 hours a week to make your bosses richer?
I got laid plenty before I had any serious money or status. The main reason why I pursue money and status now is so that I can stop working and enjoy life in many dimensions, only one of which is women.
Hate the game, not the player. The problem is that society allows James to get access to women without contributing his fair share.
I don't consider that to be a problem.
You fantasize about castrating James because you are not allowed to fantasize about locking up the girl you dated.
Sure he is, who would stop him about fantasizing about it? Even if we mean "fantasize about it openly", I don't think that the average person would be much less disturbed, if at all, about hearing someone say "I want to castrate a man because he is getting laid without contributing to society" than about hearing someone say "I want to lock up women so they don't have sex with men who do not contribute to society".
orthoxerox
If you can read this, you're using a custom theme
1d ago
They said that in a male-male context the polite response would be to send the man to the shower or call for a reschedule. I said that if I tried that with a woman I would be killed, slowly, and possibly correctly.
Depends on how well you know each other. I've had a "wait that's not lube any more" moment with my wife that could only be fixed with a shower and a reschedule.
According to the CDC website, 67% of new HIV cases are to gay men and 55% of total existing cases. So it's more of a 1.5/55 scenario than a 13/52.
This is true, but it begs the question. Yes, men and women have different foibles, but how do they compare? How do the standards for men stack up against the standards for women?
As WhiningCoil expresses above, the redpill perspective on women essentially considers them as men's lessers, baser creatures driven primarily by instinct. This is a perspective with strong cultural precedent, and its echoes persist to this day, even in aspirationally egalitarian societies. When feminists keep talking about wanting men and women to be equal, despite their equality before the law and the outright preference shown towards women by our cultural institutions, this is what they mean.
In this way, I'm sympathetic to both feminism and the redpill perspective; I do believe that women are to some extent more childish, instinctual, etc. than men, but I also think that this is a highly unfortunate reality, not something to celebrate or appreciate, and hopefully might be ameliorated by whatever means necessary, social or biological.
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