domain:parrhesia.co
The reason I don't talk about my own success or failures in this arena much is that it simply doesn't matter for the arguments I'm making. I don't want people to give my words more credence or less credence based on my own personal status. Read the stats, bring your own stats, make the arguments without regard to personal achievements.
My romantic life is kind of a mess on the whole, lot of false starts and pursuing the wrong people. But I've never had actual trouble getting dates. Its finding the right person and getting them to commit where I've struck out.
I was at one point two weeks out from being married to a girl that I truly loved. Then SHE cut it off, shacked up with 'the guy I wasn't supposed to worry about' for a bit, then flew off to the other side of the country. I felt (still feel) a sort of irrational fury towards the other guy in the situation. I would gladly go a few rounds in a boxing ring with him, for instance. "Jealousy" ain't it, though. He'll never have what I had.
I currently have a second date scheduled with a cute redhead that I met through an old friend of mine. About a month back I had a couple dates with a petite little Haitian girl that I could literally toss over my shoulder with one arm and carry off to bed.
I feel what could be described as jealousy towards the type of guy who just lines up women for almost every day of the week, rotates through them, dumps them when they become inconvenient, and literally never ever commits but uses commitment as a carrot for getting laid. I'm sure that lifestyle has tons of perks in the current social environment.
But then I think about how corrosive to their own wellbeing that process must be, and I lose the part of the feeling of "Man I wish that were me" and its mostly replaced with the anger of "he pays no cost for ruining them, then leaves the rest of us to deal with the fallout."
I'm about as jealous of these guys as I am of a guy pissing in a swimming pool. Sure, it's easier than getting out and going to the designated bathroom, but I know that if everybody starts doing it, we all end up swimming in urine.
Because of the aforementioned woman I almost married, I know full well that my actual preference is to have a long, established relationship with an intimate partner and having regular sex with the same person is qualitatively superior (to me) than a few flings per partner with many partners in a row. I've run the experiment on both sides, I know the outcome. I act accordingly.
But none of what I just says changes the nature of the stats out there. A small portion of men are being chased by a large proportion of women, banging them, getting their hopes up, breaking their hearts, and moving on, leaving the women bitter and with heightened standards going forward, making life harder on all the guys who come after.
And believe me, I am GENUINELY WORRIED about the social effects that will arise if those guys continue to struggle. I can't hate women. Its not in me. I see them as 'different, but not inherently lesser.'
The generation that's coming up? Many don't seem to have that restraint. I'm trying to warn people, and hey, i worry too because I live in this society. But believe me I ain't the one struggling.
fmac
Ask me about bike lanes
13m ago
The proles yearn for the slop
I always knew this, but I profoundly under estimated both how many proles wanted the slop, and how fucking BADLY they want it.
Good god
self_made_human
Grippy socks, grippy box
15m ago
It seems that there's an intentional scheme to mitigate this in my parts, you can see my followup post in the CWR thread for more.
fmac
Ask me about bike lanes
17m ago
He made a sweeping statement about people who's views he dislikes having other views he dislikes with 0 evidence or support
Is that not the definition of "booing the out-group"?
Sloot
17m ago
One possible solution I've been considering recently is forcibly marrying and then if that doesn't working, castrating these men. Of course I would like women to shape up too, but that seems like a tall ask.
I’ve been inwardly giggling at you and @faceh’s recent comments matter-of-factly talking about castrating or even executing “Lothario” men.
Like the state of affairs is so bleak, the cultural inertia too powerful to reverse, that such a practice is more realistic and further within the Overton window than marginally but directly limiting or inconveniencing the FUN or freedom of young women in some way to increase the protections afforded them.
Some of my resentment towards him is certainly jealousy (he has recently been fucking a girl I went on a date with and mildly liked)
lmao, epic roommate-mogging.
Do you have to listen to her moaning when he’s taking her to poundtown in your apartment? If I had a roommate, I’d be looking into lease-breaking options before subjecting myself to potentially seeing a crush, even a mild one, walk into a roommate’s room—much less listening to her moaning when it’s her turn out of his soft harem to get railed, at which point the recently discussed option of assisted suicide would rise in temptation.
Maybe he could kindly grab a PoV cellphone sex tape with her for you. It might break her spell on you, cure your crush on her, for you to see her Wonderfulness get defiled. On the other hand, it could also skyrocket your seethe and jealousy.
When I first met this guy he was deeply interested in history and biology and in pretty good shape.
Well, he’s laying pipe left and right, so it sounds like he’s still in decent enough shape. The market speaks. What better judge of shape than what’s deemed sufficient by various young women to dick them down?
Now he doesn't do anything except scroll on instagram, watch retarded kids TV shows, and have sex with these women.
That’s disgusting: scrolling on Instagram, watching TV shows, and having sex with various women. How does he meet these women and how does he seduce them? Just so I know how to avoid such a lifestyle.
He also recently got his PhD, but with ZERO publications, despite being in a computational biology lab where the expectation is 3-4 papers by graduation. This guy is smart and should be contributing to society, but instead is mooching off the NIH tit
“What do you call someone who gets his PhD with zero publications?”
“Doctor.”
If he’s not intending to go into academia or pursue one of the rare industry jobs that cares about such a thing, publication grinding is a poor use of time. If he indeed is intending to do so, the only real victim of his lack of publication record would be himself.
If he’s “mooching” off the NIH, to the extent this is an injustice, the fault primarily lies with his PI and/or dissertation committee for letting him coast his way to a PhD. Otherwise, I disagree he has some unilateral duty to Contribute to society based on some nebulous Social Contract, a duty rarely demanded of women or non-Asian minorities.
Expecting him to labcuck and publication grind Just Because instead of chilling out and slinging dick would sound like Calvin’s dad and “misery breeds character” to me.
You should invite James here. Would be entertaining to hear things from the perspective of jdizzler’s rizzler roommate.
fmac
Ask me about bike lanes
18m ago
It's literally a mass delusion. I'll grant them there is a slight difference, but as a non-delusional person 5>4o. The difference is a win for the consumer.
It's also just so funny to me that you can just ask it to be a little sycophantic yes man and it will. Why freak out? Just tell it what you want (but that's embarrassing to have to ask, is my best guess).
self_made_human
Grippy socks, grippy box
21m ago
Look, Private Equity firms have a reputation for evil, but I haven't heard of them going that far.
Southkraut
The rain fell gentlier.
22m ago
Is it? Please explain.
fmac
Ask me about bike lanes
25m ago
Do cardiologists open McDonald's outside their hospital?
Genius vertical integration, we should find some VCs
TwiceHuman
28m ago
One of the methods I have in mind can be done at home, and if they fail, I don't think they do lasting damage (though I'm not sure). Of course, somebody will find your corpse, which might traumatize them. Suicide can at best be painless for the person who dies - it's painful to everyone connected with them.
I think many suicidal people won't go through with it as long as they know that somebody actually cares about their well-being (even if only superficially). One of the things which leads to suicide is the fear that the world doesn't care about you. Of course, there's multiple kinds, and some of them are rather selfish. Suffering generally leads to selfishness as it turns your perception inwards.
Grant_us_eyes
30m ago
A Scandinavian economist once said to Milton Friedman, ‘In Scandinavia, we have no poverty’.
Milton Friedman replied, ‘That’s interesting, because in America, among Scandinavians, we have no poverty, either’
I fear the steps to solve such issues involve impossible tasks. If the first step on your master plan involves 'First, you must become Swiss', we have quite the road ahead of us.
thejdizzler
31m ago
Thanks man. I've decided to stop dating for now so it's not weighing on me too much, but definitely does breed a lot of resentment. This is not the first time this dude has done this to me either. Should have moved out last year, but didn't want to pay more rent.
fmac
Ask me about bike lanes
32m ago
That said, as nightmarish as that act was to them, there at least was no 3rd party to the act to complicate their feelings of grief.
I actually think the method in which he committed suicide does matter somewhat.
It's hard to make up a counter factual when we don't know the "factual". Would his mom's pain have been better or worse if the two options were:
-
he goes to a clinic and gets euthanized painlessly
-
she discovered his headless corpse after he takes it off with a 12 gauge?
I don't have a child, but I think stumbling into the horrific aftermath of a DIY suicide would be infinitely worse than receiving the worst phone call of my lifetime.
For 2), I can think of many many more colorful horrible scenarios. Including but not limited to walked into a failed suicide, where instead he's writhing around on the floor blind, as he shot out his optic nerves but didn't die (never shoot temple to temple kids, in your mouth, up and back).
I guess the counter-counter factual is how would they feel if they discover him in bed peacefully lying there after ODing, or slumped in his car after flooding the garage. I guess that's probably roughly equivalent to receiving the "we just euthanized him, sorry" call.
But the call will always "work", DIY guaranteed 100% will result in all the hypotheticals I'm making up, and more.
WhiningCoil
Ghost of Quokka's Future
36m ago
I guess let me be clear. Not I, nor any of my peers, were spinning plates.
Well, there was one guy... but there's always one guy...
The point I'm trying to make is that red pill observations about women where the only thing any of us found with any explanatory or predictive power. They were horrifying, and reduced women to attention seeking narcissist/children most of the time. But damnit if they didn't work. And frankly, at the time, they hardly seemed worse than the covers of women's magazine's you'd see in the checkout isle proudly advertising ways to "train your man".
But all the same, when your attempts to treat women as people with equal agency and responsibility to you fail miserably for 10 years, and the advice you constantly receive is "Treat them like narcissist/children" and it works... I mean... how do you go back? How do you compartmentalize that back away? And once again, this isn't in the effort of getting laid all the time and having as much sex as possible, but merely getting a second date. Merely not being immediately rejected. And then maybe, if you are lucky, having her decide to decamp the cock carousel for you, and hoping she doesn't regret it and go back on your commitments to each other.
Now, I suspect there is a hidden breed of woman out there, well adjusted and predisposed to marrying a humble well adjusted man, and starting families. I may have seen a few back in my highschool days. I think some of them even married their highschool sweethearts, and I think some may even still be together. I think by some degree, if you are still dating in your 30's, you've got problems, and you are picking through other people with problems. I also think our society is destroying the environment that raises well adjusted, family oriented people, and they are damned near an endangered species at this point, such that the modal advice to treat women like spoiled children is probably the most actionable, especially into your 30's.
thejdizzler
36m ago
Certainly jealousy is a factor. But I don't think that explains my feelings. I've been jealous about many things in my life, but the direction of the jealousy is that I usually want to become like the person I'm jealous of. Be faster, more witty, etc. I don't want to fuck an untold number of bitches, I want to pair bond with a stable, well-adjusted woman whom I love and respect.
DelendaEst
37m ago
Some of my resentment towards him is certainly jealousy (he has recently been fucking a girl I went on a date with and mildly liked),
Just wanted to say that this is extremely shitty and I'm sorry you are going through that. If you have a friend who is also having a hard time with girls and he gets with a girl you liked that sucks, but you can at least be happy for him. Having that girl instead get used by a guy who is already having an order of magnitude more success than you is just shit all around and makes you lose all respect for both of them. Hang in there.
faceh
40m ago
Hard earned insights that were A/B tested for quite a while.
I've done a lot of lifting over the past year and a half and I'm already 6 foot 2. I won't say that I can capture any given woman's attention at will, by any means, but if I can get that initial attention its funny how positive the interactions are regardless of whether I'm being a dick or just being friendly. Its like the words don't matter in the slightest.
Learning how to flip between a general aloofness and then a more intense, undressing-with-your-eyes energy was also key.
thejdizzler
40m ago
Well Christianity isn't doing too good of a job with survival either right now....
fmac
Ask me about bike lanes
41m ago
Suicide is trivial, and obvious.
Also incredibly unfair to subject innocent bystanders to. Jumping in front of a train is horrific for the train driver, plus the massive inconvenience to thousands of people as train schedules get disrupted.
Jumping off a high structure runs the risk of hitting someone at the bottom, and guarantees some flavor of first responder has to scrape you off the pavement/fish out your bloated corpse. Let alone the trauma to whoever finds you first if it's just a random who gets to watch you splat.
Basically every flavor of at home suicide also involves at minimum a first responder having to deal with your aftermath, and again runs a very high risk of traumatizing a friend or family member who discovers your corpse.
Also people are fucking stupid, so failed suicides are guaranteed. That means you also eat up finite medical resources AND probably have a lower quality of life.
Suicide is fucking barbaric, and honestly pretty selfish.
self_made_human
Grippy socks, grippy box
42m ago
It's better than nothing, but mobile first design does have some advantages. I miss BaconReader and Apollo, Reddit should have bought those out and repurposed them, and not made their own bespoke abomination.
ToaKraka
Dislikes you
43m ago
I use a modded Reddit apk, but the experience is just abysmal.
I recommend just using your mobile Web browser, with the "New Reddit" interface toggled off in your account settings.
mrvanillasky
Indo Aryan Thot Leader
44m ago
Precisely. My grandfather met Robert Kennedy when he visited Jaipur as he was a part of the royal staff. In all his life, he'd never seen a man with a presence like his, when Kennedy was riding the elephant, you could tell he was like an emperor.
Can't fake that, good PUAs are the real deal for this reason. You can't read your way out of being unattractive.
Tyler's product the blueprint decoded was presented as a short ebook, hacked from the lectures that were gonna be in the package, the book begins with the line "do you think you can change?". Frame is 100 percent real. Very astute observations on your part btw!
The_Nybbler
In the game of roller derby, women aren't just the opposing team; they're the ball.
45m ago
Have you ever seen someone advocate for sports restrictions on the grounds of preventing suicides? I don’t think I have.
No, nor am I claiming anyone has. I'm saying they'd nerf the world for other reasons as well.
Alright man this was a little far.
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