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Friday Fun Thread for December 16, 2022

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Someone commenting on the Dickstretcher-Rolex saga suggested we have a watch thread. To kick it off, I'm going to post a guide to What Watch to Buy based on why you want a watch, I figure that's a good way to pick a fight and get it going. I love watches, watches are cool, they're one of the few pieces of acceptable jewelry for (white) men, I love the historical associations of vintage pieces, I love the mechanical beauty of automatic watches that turn movement into energy as if by magic and can go farther underwater than I ever will.

I want a watch that tells time, is cheap, and maybe isn't a total piece of shit and that some people will like

G Shock Classic Tough Solar. Classic to iconic design, will survive anything your wrist will and a lot your wrist won't, solar battery lasts effectively forever and the multi-band atomic system means you'll never have to set it. Has a stop watch and other fun stuff if you want to play with it. People love their G Shocks so it's not something people will look down on, has a certain rugged utilitarianism to it. If you end up loving G Shocks, they go up in price, features, and collectibility from there to a $500 all steel model, which I found kind of ruined the point because it was so damn heavy.

I want to blend into the corporate upper classes and fit in, this is a status item, but I don't want to spend a ton of money

Just buy an Apple Watch. My circles aren't yours, but no one I know can tell the difference between one model and another (maybe they'll change this with the ultra), and half the top execs and earners I meet these days are wearing Apple Watches anyway for "fitness" stuff, so for <$400 you blend right into the C Suite. Honestly, this watch has hollowed out the watch industry as a jewelry/status purchase, the ladder of success has broken down at the middle tiers. Only stuff cheaper than an Apple Watch or much more expensive than the Apple Watch can survive. It no longer makes sense for a middle manager to buy a $1k Tag or Raymond Weil and expect anyone to give a fuck when the mail cart kid is wearing the exact same Apple Watch the CEO is wearing.

I want a new mechanical watch that looks like a classic men's watch and functions well, but brand isn't important

Seiko 5, Glycine Airman, or the Timex Marlin, are all affordable models with respectable reliable mechanical movements and good looks. No batteries are nice, and you can see if you like mechanicals. Nobody will look at them and say it's horrible or cheap. Pick what aesthetic tickles your fancy. If you want to get more into niche boutique unique stuff, some microbrands like this Armida Explorer Homage or any of the fine dive watches out of Islander Watches have moderately better finishing than the lower end brands and more unique styles, while still basically paying homage to the big guys.

I have a really small penis and I want to make that obvious to everyone

Can I interest you in an invicta? They offer products for all price ranges between $50 and $5,000, and it all screams compensation from top to bottom.

I want a mechanical watch from a brand other watch nerds will respect, but that Champagne taste is on a craft-beer budget

Go vintage non-Rolex swiss brand. You can find great cheap Tissot Seastars, or for a step up in brand value get a vintage Omega Seamaster or Constellation, or go out there with a Vostok if you're quirky like a Coen brothers film. The vintage will appeal to enthusiasts richer than you who are wearing Rolexs or Blancpains that cost ten times as much, while costing much less. Much better value than spending $1k on a mid tier watch.

No, really, I'm fancy and I just want to dive into the deep end and flex

Just get a Submariner or a Speedmaster , they have the pedigree and the history and the reputation that you're looking for. Unless you're ready to buy a Patek or something, and that's out of my depth!

As for my collection? I have a black square G Shock and an Armida A9 that I wear 90% of days. I have a 60s Omega Seamaster which was a gift from an old friend that I love, and a Bailey Banks and Biddle watch that was given to my great grandfather for 25 years of work at the same plant which I wear for special occasions (I love wearing it to a fancy event because no one else has one quite like it).

So what's in everybody else's drawer and on your wrist? Or how did I fuck up my advice above? Do you wear nothing but fakes? Nothing but Swatches in fun colors?

G-Shock metal square with negative display and the rubber strap: got some adapters and I've currently got this on a distressed leather strap. Love this thing even if the adapters make the lug-to-lug massive. Probably the best G-shock overall short of the MR-G square monstrosities that sort of lose the idea of what it means to be a G-shock, although the G-shock octagon is probably an easier rec these days.

Straum Opphav Damascus: was charmed by this microbrand, the dial is something else.

Casio fanboy pick: Casio Oceanus OCW-3000, probably one of my favorite watches ever. Pretty much every watch should offer a version in titanium, polished and finished to this standard. Bought this when the yen cratered this year. I also had the Cachalot for a bit before reselling it (heavy discount), it's essentially a nicer bigboy MR-G with sexier finishing.

Seiko Sharp Edged Presage Aisumi Blue openheart: I go back and forth on this, I feel like I should own at least one Seiko but I feel like I'm just not making a connection to this watch as pretty as it is. In an attempt to like it I bought the official Seiko bracelet and stuck it on to replace the awful leather strap, but it got even heavier and as a result I like it less and less.

Lorier Neptune IV (date): found out about this literally the day before the drop. Pictures do not do it justice, for something this price it's an absolute steal. The acrylic crystal was a tough sell at first but it really does look nicer and warmer, with thicker distortion and a warmer look, even though it means I have to buff out scratches every month.

Currently looking at adding a Speedmaster to the collection but can't decide on which one. Also, despise Rolex enough to consider buying a superclone. I've been treated worse as a customer in a Rolex AD than when buying just about anything in existence.

Straum Opphav Damascus: was charmed by this microbrand, the dial is something else.

Never heard of this, beautiful. Great call.

If you go for a superclone, let me know how it goes. There's a few I'd be interested in, but I've never been confident in the quality to pull the trigger. I need that dickstretcher credibility that comes from seeing somebody on themotte.

Wearing a Casio G-SHOCK GA-2100 right now because I need dual timezone display. A great and inexpensive $100 travel watch without the size or bulk associated with G-SHOCKs. Mine is black on black like in the video, but it's legible enough. They make them in every color these days.

How do you like it? I've heard so much about them online at this point.

It's as light and thin as Casio's digital watches but having analog hands and dual time display makes it a straight upgrade over them. They used to be impossible to get at MSRP but now there's many more models and variants including an even smaller version for women. The only thing that's missing is lume. There's a light button but it's pathetic.

What does it signal in your framework if someone doesn't have a watch?

Someone who wouldn't have moved on from pocket watches

A wrist watch is a symbolic handcuff. The rigid shackles keeping you on someone else's schedule.

Studies of wrist phrenology suggest flaccid, watchless wrists are a sign of a weak mind. I’m sorry.

There's only three types of people who don't own watches: hippies, women, and people who spend too much time looking at their smartphones.

too much time looking at their smartphones

I see, seeker, that you are yet to learn the ancient art of taking your phone out of your pocket to check the time and then putting it back in again.

I prefer the more traditional technique of picking it up, checking the time, putting it down, immediately forgetting the time, picking it back up again, checking for new messages, putting it back down, and still not knowing the time.

This sounds like me going to the kitchen to look at the thermometer outside its window. Walk in, look, walk out, realize you haven't actually read the temperature.

Nothing, really. The whole watch/brand name item as positive status symbol culture is mostly dead anyway, I include it somewhat tongue in cheek because it is something first time watch buyers think about. I like what I like because I like it, though I'm not conceited enough to think I'm totally free of these tendencies.

On the other hand, I think the brand idea lives on in the negative. if I see someone driving a non-hellcat non-ram Dodge car, I adjust my estimate of their general competence downward slightly. Notice how everyone can argue about mechanical v quartz, vintage v actually working, high class brand v generic; but we all agree Invicta is for morons.

I want a mechanical watch from a brand other watch nerds will respect, but that Champagne taste is on a craft-beer budget

Go vintage non-Rolex swiss brand.

Spot on.

No, really, I'm fancy and I just want to dive into the deep end and flex

In my experience, if you want people to see the flex you should just buy a used Rolex datejust/oyster perpetual because most people aren't watch nerds and love the crown. Of all my watches, my gifted Rolex Date gets the most comments and it's not close.

I have a half dozen or so watches. The one I wear the most is my Panarai luminor.

The one I wear the most is my Panarai luminor.

Love that one, but it's a) out of budget and b) too large for my girly wrist.

Check out this New Zealand microbrand "Magrette": https://magrette.com/shop/moana-pacific-waterman-bronze-pre-order?in=370040261

It's a couple mm smaller, uses a swiss movement, and has the same look.

That looks very cool, thank you! I especially like the bronze version.

They're nowhere near what you're discussing here but I've always really liked slim, steel band watches from Bering. They help avoid people noticing that I have girl wrists.

I also loved my Seiko 5 after I changed the band.

That's exactly what we're talking about. I actually used to have that exact Seiko 5 from an auction! I never wore it enough so I had to reset the date every time and got tired of it, so I gave it to my protege at the gym, he wears it every day now in college. Great general use watch.

I have a relatively cheap (as in not garishly diamond encrusted) Cartier tank I got for my sixteenth, and an Apple Watch. I have a Chopard Happy Sport watch back home but it’s a little too much for me because they put diamonds on the case instead of just the floating ones inside.

  • relatively cheap
  • Cartier tank

Sir, plz choose one. Even the cheapest ones go for $3k+ right ?

They do look lovely. Something about it appeals to my very soul. It's an excellent heirloom gift.

edit: Can we make the post preview actually reflect what my comment will look like ? Some weird spacing issues here.

The Tank design was a WWI vet paying homage to the tanks he saw in battle. So while it's probably the most feminine coded of the "classics" in watch design, there's still a seed of industrial/utilitarian design in there.

Well, cheap relative to a new Rolex (or Chopard), let alone a Patek or an AP or something, as joked about in the original comment!

That's a hell of a sweet sixteen gift. That's awesome that you can cherish it forever! I love the more tasteful tanks.

Despite my preference for understatement I love the look of https://mrjoneswatches.com. Realistically if I were shopping for a watch I'd probably go to a high street clothes shop and choose something that costs £20 and looks like a Swiss railway clock but more muted.

https://mrjoneswatches.com.

Excellent choice. Almost got my wife the one with the wales, but it was too big for her.

Those look really cool. Nothing wrong with a statement piece on occasion.

Big into watches. I own one of these Gen. 1 mainly because I saw it in Minority report. I have one of these again because Chief Brody wore one in Jaws. Sensing a trend? Yes. I also have a Casio DW-290 that is relatively cheaper, and which appeared in another movie. I have a Longines Hydroconquest Chronograph automatic that my father-in-law gifted me out of the blue.

My current go-to watch however is the amazing Casio MDV-107, aka the Duro Marlin which is a dive watch for people who probably don't actually dive but want to look kind of like they could do if diving were suddenly required. That would be my own category. I switched out the resin band for a couple NATOs and even a nice leather strap, which doesn't make much sense on a dive watch but looks good, IMO.

I admire your vintage Omega and I myself am in the market for a vintage DeVille. Reddit has at least two watch enthusiast swap forums, the /r/watchexchange that most who care know about, and its offshot /r/watch_swap, which split from the exchange sub because reasons that I don't pay close enough attention to. Both are good for this kind of thing.

Sorry for the Japanese links but that's what came up. I should probably just photograph my wrist and show pictures that are actually mine--I dredged my imgur album but apparently I never uploaded any watch pics. Oh I also own a rather old now tank watch on a leather strap from Eddie Bauer of all places, that I bought on a whim in around 1998 and after two battery changes is ticking nicely.

For the watch enthusiast I cannot recommend enough a kit similar to this. The one I bought a while back was about three times the cost of the one I just linked and I have no idea of the relative quality of these things, but if you ever change bands or batteries or add or subtract bracelet links these kits are a godsend.

How do you like the Longines? That's one I've seen online, but never in person. I love that Omega, super neat. Was it really that expensive though, or can you get a deal on them?

Also, I've found (cheap Amazon NATO) leather straps hold up just fine to a quick swim, which is all mine is ever subjected to. I'm sure it would wear out eventually, but not the dozen times a year it hits some saltwater.

And taking good watch pics is so difficult! I feel like it's an area that lighting makes a huge difference relative to just holding a smartphone.

Thanks. Re: the Longines, it's heavy. Stainless steel, through and through, and 43mm width, so big on my thin wrist. If I could have chosen myself I would have chosen a lighter or darker dial. The gray-gray is not as easy to see as I would like. But it's my only automatic watch thus far (albeit without a display caseback). I like it, and the fact that it was simply mailed to me with a "Enjoy" makes it all the more enjoyable. I have considered getting a rubber dive strap for it--and then maybe actually diving. But that might be just passing fancy.

The Omega is titanium except the stainless steel bezel, and therefore relatively much lighter. While I could probably put the Longines in a sling and, with a well-timed throw, down Goliath, the X-33 would just bounce off. I bought it more than 20 years ago when I was single and flush with what I felt then was disposable cash, and paid almost full MRP. It's quartz, which turns off even some Omega enthusiasts. But to me that just means it's accurate. As much as I like the various NATO or even leather straps for it, the titanium bracelet is light as a feather and really pops, I think.

I agree taking watch pics isn't easy but some can do it quite well (I myself cannot), and I am sure they are just using their i-Phones or whatever. Alas, my android was considered a good camera phone when I bought it, but that was about 10 years ago and phone cameras have come a long way. I once read natural sunlight is preferable to most regular room lights when photographing watches and similar. Others may know much more about it.

Someone commenting on the Dickstretcher-Rolex saga suggested we have a watch thread.

That was me, glad you went through with it!

To kick it off, I'm going to post a guide to What Watch to Buy based on why you want a watch, I figure that's a good way to pick a fight and get it going.

I like the way you think. Picking fights is unironically the best way to start a discussion.

I want a watch that tells time, is cheap, and maybe isn't a total piece of shit and that some people will like

G Shock Classic Tough Solar.

G-Shocks are really nice, but they are usually huge and not a good fit for slender wrists. A good alternative, especially for techie types, is the Casio F-91W - a watch worn by both Obama and Osama. It's slim, indestructible, with all the features you would want from a watch and it's respected by watch nerds. It doesn't have solar charging though. The Casio "Royale" AE1200 is also a good alternative. Just don't get the bracelet, it's awful.

I want to blend into the corporate upper classes and fit in, this is a status item, but I don't want to spend a ton of money

Just buy an Apple Watch.

Booo! Heresy! Just get a cool midrange 700-1200$ watch from a "cool" brand like Hamilton or Oris. Or go the hipster route with a microbrand like Yema or Baltic.

I want a new mechanical watch that looks like a classic men's watch and functions well, but brand isn't important

Seiko 5, Glycine Airman, or the Timex Marlin, are all affordable models with respectable reliable mechanical movements and good looks.

Yeah, concur. I would through Orient into the mix.

I have a really small penis and I want to make that obvious to everyone

Can I interest you in an invicta? They offer products for all price ranges between $50 and $5,000, and it all screams compensation from top to bottom.

:marseynodfast:

I have a 60s Omega Seamaster which was a gift from an old friend that I love

Absolutely brilliant. An all-time favourite.

So what's in everybody else's drawer and on your wrist? Or how did I fuck up my advice above? Do you wear nothing but fakes? Nothing but Swatches in fun colors?

Apart from my grandfather's pocket watch which I adore to no end, I have the above-mentioned Casio Royale as my beater watch (the LED function comes in really handy in hotels at night and such when I don't want to wake up my wife but look where I put the water bottle. But 90% of wrist time is currently occupied by the Baltic Aquascaphe. It's relatively small at 39mm and I just love the looks of it. The bracelet is the most comfortable I've ever worn (and I suspect it's the same Doxa put on their watches). It also wasn't prohibitively expensive at around 1000$. I also have a smaller, inconspicuous Junghans quartz with a black dial for dressier occasions. Next on my radar are the Oris Big Crown Pointer date mentioned above, and the Stowa Marine Classic 36.

I like the way you think. Picking fights is unironically the best way to start a discussion.

It's the corollary to the rule about the best way to get the right answer is to post the wrong answer.

RE: G Shock Wrist size

I'm learning that seemingly everyone has smaller wrists than me on here. I guess at 200# with a 7.75" wrist I'm the resident fat guy! I will say try on different G Shocks, they have wildly different sizes/fits across their ~million models. There are some I absolutely could not wear, and some I barely notice.

RE: Heresy

Booing it doesn't make it less true. That's why Seiko is slowly eliminating a lot of their mid-range stuff in favor of moving more of their classics upmarket, and leaving the cheap 5s as the entry level. If you're not a watch enthusiast and just want something to complete your "Serious Business Man" look, an Apple Watch is going to do it better than anything else new at the same price. The Oris and Hamilton you cite are twice(!) the price, and IMO deliver less in the way of blending right into rich people. The only downside of the Apple Watch is that it won't last half the lifespan of a good mechanical.

RE: Orient

I stuck to recommending watches I've owned/handled something similar extensively and personally. Consider it added if you think it's a good pick!

RE: Stowa

Do you have any experience with these? I've wanted a Flieger for a while, would fit my vibe, but I've never even seen one in person.

Also how do you like the Baltic? They really seem to make some neat stuff, another Microbrand I'm looking at. I might pick up a Deep Blue on sale in the near future, they have some steep discounts right now.

Booing it doesn't make it less true.

True heresy is the most dangerous kind and has to be suppressed extra hard.

Stowa

Do you have any experience with these? I've wanted a Flieger for a while, would fit my vibe, but I've never even seen one in person.

Unfortunately not. I have looked at a few videos with brilliant macro shots though. I am still looking for an unobstrusive dress watch and I would like a handwound with small seconds, Roman numerals, and an exhibition caseback. The Stowa I linked fits the bill perfectly, at least on paper. I was originally looking at a Nomos Ludwig, which I have seen and tried in person. I liked it, but it felt too sterile. The Stowa seems to have more character. I suppose I will just have to drive down to their factory one day, my watchmaker doesn't carry them.

Also how do you like the Baltic?

I absolutely love it. With 39mm, the GMT is the perfect size for a diver, the colours (I have the turquoise/blue version) match my usual attire perfectly, and it's supremely comfortable to wear. I adore the looks of it with the domed crystal and the brilliant, timeless set of hands. It has a vintage-y touch to it without being try-hard. It is great to add a little bit more class to casual and smart casual outfits. You can wear it to more formal attire, and it does slip nicely under a cuff. But ultimately I just don't think that diver bezels and formal clothing go that well together, no matter what James Bond would like us to believe. I would only improve two things: the 42h power reserve could be greater, and the action of the 24 step bezel could be loser.

I have a Seiko digital watch. Mostl because my dad had a Casio digital watch in the 80's and I wanted something like his one: a smallish minimalistic digital watch in a steel housing, something that would be called "retro-styled" in the 10's. Casio didn't have anything like that, but Seiko did, and I got one from Japan. I like everything about it except its solar-powered battery, because it means it now dies every winter. I really should find a new battery for it, maybe even forego the whole solar-powered business.

I never liked g-shocks, since my hands and wrists are small enough to make Nick Shabazz's look like bear paws in comparison.

Which Seiko? I didn't really know they made digital watches outside the Arnold-Predator digital-analog (which I never really got the point of). I'm surprised the solar is a problem, the G Shock solars I've used do just fine, but then I guess different Latitudes.

SBPG001. I don't think they make this model any more.

I am a big fan of tastefully done open hearts. I really like the Orient Bambino Open Heart

Reasons to like it

  • Classic look

  • but has a little bit of restrained fun to it

  • Cheap, but well-regarded subsidiary of a more reputed brand (Seiko)

Other variations on this idea:

1 2


If I had infinite money, then I'd go for the Cartier Ballon Bleu [3] [4]. It is a thing of timeless beauty and I won't be convinced otherwise. Like a Ferrari Roma, C1 corvette or a Karman Ghia.

Love the Cartier, except for the Roman numerals which I find hopelessly cheesy on any watch. Cartier honestly has some great classic designs, the Tank Must, the Santos, and some of the Chronographs are all beautiful pieces.

I wouldn’t mind a high-class watch with numbers 1-9 and hexadecimal A, B, C.

I have a Seiko solar mechanical that I really like and have had for years now, but I've been wearing a cheap-ish EZON watch for a while now. I wanted a non-smart watch that can read my heartrate on my wrist without me having to use an app, but I had to settle for using a heartrate strap and working out.

I've tried to do the whole heartrate monitoring thing, and never got interesting information out of it. Have you found anything useful?

Well...I guess not exactly, other than I might be naturally high-strung. When I just put the strap on, my HR seems to hang around 77-84 before I get going with the elliptical machine. I want to get back to donating plasma, but it goes too high when they test my BP and HR, so I've been trying to bring it down by burning calories every night I can.

I used to have a Fossil that my wife bought me which was just about perfect for my taste. I like to wear a watch when I dress up, but I want something elegant and understated - most watches I see are way too flashy for me to ever consider wearing. The watch my wife got me was great, though. Looked a fair bit like the Timex that you linked, except the border around the watch face was gold colored. Sadly, it broke and Fossil wasn't able to fix it as they didn't have parts for it any more. Right now I don't have a watch.

One thing I'd be interested in is your thoughts on decent pocket watches. I know some people think they are a bad choice in this day and age, but I have had one and enjoyed wearing it with my suit on occasion. I don't know where I'd get a nice pocket watch, though.

Also, thank you for the excellent dunk on Invicta. I will legit never understand why anyone has ever bought one of those ugly-ass watches. Even men with a small penis should have better taste than that.

One thing I'd be interested in is your thoughts on decent pocket watches.

I think they're super cool, but I've always been more of a wristwatch guy. I inherited a nice gold one from a cousin, which I pull out every now and then. I'd love to see more companies put out "functional" tool oriented pocket watches. When I was a boy scout I had a Fossil branded clip on watch/compass on a Carabiner that I'd put on my beltloop for hikes. I'd love to see a kind of pocket watch/smartwatch combo, something in aluminum with a setup like the Master of G series sensors for altitude and direction and barometeric pressure and tide graphs and stuff. Or even a small smart pocketwatch that is designed to give me basic notifications and functionalities while leaving my phablet in my briefcase or something like that. I think it's an ignored format.

I will legit never understand why anyone has ever bought one of those ugly-ass watches.

It matches the aesthetic of the fake-Raptor grill on their mall-crawler.

One thing I'd be interested in is your thoughts on decent pocket watches. I know some people think they are a bad choice in this day and age, but I have had one and enjoyed wearing it with my suit on occasion. I don't know where I'd get a nice pocket watch, though.

You can find them online but I wouldn't know what to look for there. I think your best bet is to go to your local watchmaker. Mine has dozens lying around.

I have a couple of Casio F91W in obnoxious colours (not my picture) I don't like the aesthetics of the gshock and these Casios fit my style (or lack of) better.

I have baby wrists so dive watches are out. I bought a vintage Raketa from etsy that I like, but I would guess it's a chop shop job and doesn't keep time very well.

I have baby wrists so dive watches are out.

Just look for older ones. The modern monster-watch trend only dates back about 20 years, I share old relatively tiny men's watches with my wife, who has five and a half inch wrists.

So what's in everybody else's drawer and on your wrist?

I like a watch as a piece of masculine jewelry, but lost patience with mechanical watches. Wear a white-dial Grand Seiko 9F most days with the OEM straps in brown and black (leaving the bracelet it came with in the box). Picked up JDM Seiko solar-quartz Prospex diver and chronograph models for the weekends. And keep a quartz Hamilton Ventura for when I get dressed up in the evenings — swapped the fake lizard skin strap it came with for a real one. I forget the model, but I also have the larger version of the F-91W that Casio came out with a few years back for skiing, yard work, etc.

Maybe in a decade or so I’ll buy that solar Cartier Tank. But lots of other expenses stand in the way.

Found a Credor tank and a pre-TAG, Heuer diver for the missus on eBay.

How well do the Seiko solar watches work? I've never had one. There were a few that look nice that I'd consider, but I've had bad experiences with their quartz watches fifteen years back and don't want to repeat it.

I have had no issues with the Prospex solar models in terms of functionality. I keep them in a small watch box on my dresser with a glass lid and they’ve never run out of juice. There is a tiny alignment issue with the sweep hand on the chronograph, that I’m sure I’m the only person to notice, but that comes with buying gray-market JDM Seikos off eBay.

Gshock G8900 user signing in. That thing is indestructible.

I've had it since 2016, and it's still going strong. It's graduated high school and college and have been to 3 different continents with me.

I don't roll in the circles where the wrong watch makes me an untouchable yet, so sentimental value and utility is good enough for me.

Just keep the G shock if you like it. Everybody loves them. That was actually the first g shock I owned, I got it for $15 used for climbing. Eventually I decided the one I had was ugly and spent an extra $20 to upgrade to the square.

I wear one of these, though it is not gold plated

Edit: PS, Fossil sells a watch with a somewhat similar look

That is fucking hideous. It looks like a pimp's cufflink.

Sorry. Well, not that sorry. It probably looks better without the gold plating. :)

I think perhaps you are being distracted by the band. https://graciousgood.me/2010/03/25/ernest-borel-kaleidescope-cocktail-watch/

Nah, nothing about it is to my taste. If I was into expensive watches (and could afford expensive watches) I'd get something like the Dick Stretcher / Dan Draper Omega (assuming it was something like this: https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/nPMAAOSwkWVjjWm6/s-l500.jpg), but I'm just fucking around.

That's an ok watch, but it is indistinguishable from a Timex or a Seiko. Why pay extra for that? I'd rather go extra minimalist, like a Skagen.

What else am I going to pay extra for? It's not like an expensive watch tells time that much better, or is that much more reliable. The whole point is basically spending money on intangibles. An old(ish) watch that looks that sleek is much cooler than a quartz watch that looks the same, same way a mint 60s muscle car is infinitely cooler than a 2000-era reboot Charger or Mustang, or a Miata or something.

(Also, heh, I already own a Skagen and a minimalist Seiko.)

Exactly like that, but on a bracelet rather than a strap. My wife is always 100% for bracelets in watches, I'm always 100% for leather or bright nylon NATOs.

I got it for ~$300 a couple years back working well with a bit of provenance so you could probably get one without a dick stretcher history in the sub $500 range no problem.

I love it. I feel like if I was drunk or bored I'd just stare at it.