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PaperclipPerfector  17d ago (text post)   1049 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for March 25, 2026

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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The primary saving grace about experiencing emotional shocks is that they seem to have a half-life. Not in a dismissive sense - the underlying facts don't become less real, and the things that warranted careful thought still warrant it - but the brain's alarm systems appear calibrated for novelty, and novelty is, almost definitionally, temporary. By yesterday I had gone most of a day without the intrusive guilt-spiraling I'd described before, which I'm counting as a positive update. I genuinely do not think it's taken me very long to come to terms with what by all rights is a rather earth-shattering revelation about my near and dear ones.

I want to be clear, again, that my distress was never about any moral objection. I have approximately no moral intuitions against homosexuality that survive five seconds of reflection. The worry was more diffuse than that - a kind of anticipatory anguish about social repercussions, about what I should have done differently, about whether my brother had been suffering in ways I'd failed to notice. The answer to the last question is probably yes, and there's not much to do with that except file it away. Eventually, my subconscious will tug at that drawer and will discover that we've lost the keys.

Then my brother came home and introduced a complication I hadn't fully anticipated: his boyfriend was upset. Not at me, exactly - at the disclosure itself, at having been, in some meaningful sense, outed without consent as a side effect of an unplanned coming-out. This seems to me like a legitimate grievance. These things happen, but the fact that something was inevitable doesn't mean the person affected has to be cheerful about it.

I offered to intervene, partly because I'm on reasonably good terms with the boyfriend, and partly because I suspected - maybe correctly, maybe not - that absorbing some of the relational friction myself would make it easier for my brother to have the subsequent conversation. That's the benefit of being a third party in someone else's relationship conflict: you have less skin in the game, which makes certain kinds of reassurance easier to deliver credibly.

I called him. He was eating, so he called me back. I tried to strike a tone that was somewhere between warm and matter-of-fact - acknowledging that his frustration made sense, explaining the psychological weight my brother had been carrying, reiterating that my knowledge of all this wasn't going anywhere (you lot don't count). I told him nothing had changed between us, that I didn't intend to handle him differently, that he'd been a good friend and a good boyfriend. He sounded somewhat annoyed, but I had the (possibly self-serving) impression that the directness was landing okay. People often respond better to being treated as if their distress is ordinary and manageable rather than as if it requires elaborate delicacy.

They're going to talk it out themselves, which is correct. My most substantive tactical suggestion was that my brother bring sweets and perhaps a flower. I'm moderately aware that this advice is imported wholesale from the tactics I've developed for apologizing to women, and may not transfer perfectly. I'm not sure how much of romantic repair-making is universal and how much is culturally specific to particular relationship configurations. I'll update based on evidence, maybe angry gay/bi men would, like me, prefer a beer.

(My brother is pretty good at calming things down when I've argued with my girlfriends, even if he takes their side at a distressingly high frequency. I lack the same experience when it comes to him, because as far as I was concerned, he'd spent his life in celibacy. Oh well, I'll learn. The skills transfer.)

I didn't expect the response to my previous post to be as generous as it was. The rationalist-adjacent internet, and the Motte in particular, has a well-earned reputation for a certain kind of adversarial argumentation, which I participate in as much as anyone. But people gave real, considered advice when it mattered, and I'm genuinely grateful. That's worth saying plainly. Thank you guys.

A few weeks back I posted about obtaining and using peptides for injury recovery. Some notes:

  • If you're thinking you can go ahead and find a niche forum to learn about this and execute while injured, you can't. They're heavily gatekept (?). You need a 1-1 invite from someone you know, then there are multiple days of probation before you can get to the data, and then the most valuable and critical threads for group buys are locked down even further. I never got to them.
    • There's a whole thing where these are run by women, primarily for weight loss, and how different the culture is around it compared to a forum like this.
  • I was able to find a friend who had already gotten in deep into the grey market process and was able to, for around $120:
    • Compound what I needed
    • Send a supply and an easy-to-use disposable needle pen
    • Provide the link to get a free needle disposal kit from Novo Nordisk
  • PeptideSciences . com had similar kits and formulations for $400, but has since ceased operations
  • My surgeon and I talked about their use, he said "I won't stop you, they may help"

My recovery was generally fast. I was cleared to cycle on a stationary bike 2 weeks after surgery, major rides aftter 4, and light overhead presses after 7. I faced no significant side effects. No way of telling if they helped or not.

A lot of information is public and readily available without having to woo woo with autists that prefer to gatekeep everything. For starters, use peptaura . com to order peptides directly from manufacturers. Every single peptide from your original post is available for sale.

I’m always nervous about ordering these things direct from China in case my package gets seized, so I end up overpaying from a compounding pharmacy.

Risk of seizure varies depending on what country you're from. For US, as far as I'm aware, chance of seizure is low.

I didn't do exhaustive searching, but Reddit banned discussion and I had to pose as a researcher when discussing with an LLM.

I want to hire an experienced finance professional—preferably someone with significant equity research experience at an investment bank or hedge fund—to help me prepare for a rigorous final interview.

Background: I'm nearing the end of a three-month long interview process (5 interviews (formal and informal), one case study take-home test, many email exchanges) for a finance role and am looking to hire someone to help me prepare for what I think will be the final interview in ~2 weeks.

My vision: We would meet a few times for a few hours each via video call over the next two weeks. Initial call would be me giving you as much background as possible, followed by preparing a "game plan" for me to work on before our next session. Rinse and repeat as we agree upon.

Pay: Very open to negotiations on rate, payout schedule, method, etc. I'm also willing to offer an additional lump sum payout if I end up getting the job as an additional incentive for you to work with me and put effort in.

If you're interested, please DM me with your background, resume, LinkedIn, etc. The more information the better. Rest assured your identity is safe with me.

I’m open to any questions. I was a bit vague for privacy reasons, but am willing to open up a bit over DM or email.

(Mods, apologies if this is breaking a rule. TheMotte is the best place I thought of to post an ad like this.)

I don't want to specifically condone or encourage people advertising here, but we do tolerate it as long as people contribute back. It's a grey area. Since you're asking for something and offering to pay, I'd say it's fine and I suspect the other mods will agree.

The Motte is the best place I thought of to post an ad like this.

Astral Codex Ten's weekly open threads and occasional classified threads may also be of use.

New year's resolutions check-in:

  • To make up for only going to the gym twice the week before, I went to the gym four times last week. Can deadlift 1.8x my bodyweight for 3 reps, squat 1.05x for 6 reps and bench press .85x for 6 reps.
  • Have not consumed any pornography since waking up on January 1st.
  • Have completed the SQL course.

How goes it, @thejdizzler, @birb_cromble, @falling-star and @Tollund_Man4?

  1. Work: Had a mild freakout at work when my (published) software wasn't working. Part of it was a quick bug fix, part of it was the user not exploring the parameter space correctly. Worked a bit extra today and fixed it. Planning on getting some Claude Code help with cleaning up the GUI (back button, fixing weird window pop up, etc.) by the end of this week. Other than that experiments are going to plan!

  2. Fitness: 11 hours last week again. Amazing workout this morning: 2 x 20 min at 5:55 and then 5:37 pace. Feeling on track to run sub 2:35 at Boston. Annoyed at the Baltimore youth for stealing my nice UA jacket.

  3. Intellectual Stuff: Very happy with Marx blog post. Wrapping up the last half of Toll's final Pacific War book, and then really trying to finish my Italian book. Spanish surprisingly has not suffered from my lack of practice, and I still speak fine during my weekly lesson.

  4. Finances: Expenses are no longer so low this month because I went to a jazz show when my friend was in town and booked a flight to Florida to see my other friend. Parent's transfer kicked off successfully, and will gradually be liquidating the assets over the next few years until I need to buy a house. Now that it's spring I'm realizing how little I actually need a car, so that may not be happening after all.

  5. Dating: Still seeing the same girl, but I'm no longer very enthused about it. She's began to come off as very childish/delusional which I don't want to deal with long term.

  6. Tarot: Good session last night

  7. Socializing: My friend Simon was here this weekend and we had a great time biking around Baltimore and hanging out.

  8. Screen time: 1.2 hours.

  9. Mental health: have been very anxious for some reason waking up. Would like to get to the bottom of this.

Mental health: have been very anxious for some reason waking up. Would like to get to the bottom of this.

Are you in any medications? I had amoxicillin clavulanate give me raging anxiety attacks for a few weeks every morning at around 5:30 am.

Medication free!

Alcohol: a bit better, I had a look at my budgeting app and despite all the free beers you get working in restaurants the cost over 3 months gave me more motivation to cut down.

Gaming: I've barely thought about it for at least a week.

Nicotine: the snus pouches are being banned in France in a few days and tobacco shops are running out of stock. It'll be a sharp withdrawal but the nanny state will do my work for me soon.

Overall I'm getting much better sleep, which was the overall goal in the first place. I have a questionably reliable guy promising me a job next month which would finally involve me not finishing work at 2am.

I'm sure I've asked you this before – are you a chef?

Yeah, I kind of ended up being one after moving to France but now it has gotten interesting and I wouldn't mind getting better at it.

Good job on the alcohol. I know how hard it can be. Not paying for it is a good way to limit yourself, when you can't commit to pure sobriety (me). I'll still buy drinks when I'm out, but I don't pay for alcohol to keep at home anymore.

Thanks. I never had a habit of drinking at my place, my main problem is always being around bars due to work and the ease at which you can end up going for a pint to celebrate a difficult shift/a birthday/a friend visiting/another birthday/someone quitting work etc. All these once in a while events can add up to a lot.

Can I recruit myself into your accountability scheme? I want to commit to going to the gym at least once a week, unless I have a very good excuse (exam pressures, sick etc).

I think someone asking me would help, but I would also be willing to ban myself for a week per infraction to make it sting (I'm too cheap to put money on the table).

Noted, I'll ping you going forward.

Thanks!

Spending is $2,272.27 less than the same time last year. I had a pipe develop a pinhole leak, so an unexpected plumbing bill slowed my progress down a bit. Tomorrow is the expensive dental appointment.

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