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PaperclipPerfector  10mo ago (text post)   2629 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for June 23, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Mark Zuckerberg is ready to fight Elon Musk in a cage match

I'm really not sure how I feel about this new trend of nerdy billionaires getting into wellness and steroids (Bezos went from Lex Luthor to Kingpin) but this'd be an interesting contest. If we're gonna have bread and circuses...

I'd put my money on Zuckerberg btw

I'd go full on Elon. It'd be better and I'd liked it more if Zuck won, but the size and weight difference is too much.

Of course, I assume that if it happens at all, Elon will have ≥2 months to prepare with professional trainers, and optimize his tactics against a Zuck-like opponent so it won't just be him overconfidently trying to pull off The Walrus.

By the way, would that be the most-watched fight ever? I think this is very likely. Most-watched individual sport event, perhaps?

It looks like there's an estimated 1/4 chance it happens, per manifold markets.

In the spirit of the day they should have a submerisbles duel. The one that dives deeper or survives wins.

I'd say depends on the rules and how fit Musk is. Zuckerberg is younger, but Musk is significantly taller and probably bigger. Can be an advantage.

Unless Musk turns out to have dynamite hands for an amateur it'll probably come down to gas tank.

As long as Zuck doesnt get stuck under Elon he can try to keep his distance and wear him down. I doubt Elon is any good at cutting the ring/octagon.

TBH grappling and leveraging superior size can be absolutely tiring.

Given he hasn't fought before (AFAIK) the chances of him gassing without submitting the younger,fitter man are huge.

Zuck takes the decision or TKO by way of exhaustion.

Makes sense. I don't think Elon can knock a person out in minutes, and from my own experience, people without sparring training severely underestimate how fast you can gas out. Before I started training myself, when I was young and stupid, I was always kinda wondering why boxing rounds are so short - these people seem to be pretty fit, can't they do it longer? Now that I understand better I no longer wonder. That's why I said it depends on how fit Musk is - if he's secretly been keeping peak form, he may have a chance. If not - he's going down.

If he does the minimum research required, he could train up a lot of gas.

It doesn't take years to do so.

Shit, I forgot about Zuck doing so much training. He also hasn't been in bad shape for a long time.

I really think both of them are serious but haven't been in a situation where you're losing a physical fight in front of people, especially since they've "won" almost everything their entire lives. I've had it happen a couple of times for various reasons, and I considered it pretty traumatic. When Musk loses he's going to be fucking pissed.

they've "won" almost everything their entire lives

Musk was bullied in school in SA

He's significantly larger than Zuckerberg; I wouldn't count him out. Depends on how soon the fight happens (if ever)

I have twitter blocked on this device as a futile anti-procrastination measure but I saw that Jordan Peterson (or Mikhaila on his account) tweeted suggesting they should be naked and oiled up.

A lot of his tweets have his diction pretty much, but this one ..

Either Mikaela or he's a bisexual or something weird like that.

Just like the old Olympian times. Also, under the old time rules, technical infractions were punished by whipping.

Truly a premise with bipartisan appeal.

Me too, isn’t Zuck in his thirties?

39... Elon's 51.

And Zuck does MMA and BJJ.

Elon is a bigger guy, but I'm not sure how much that will count for.

If Elon has never been in a real fight, his size won't count for much. You never understand how quickly you can be punched until you have already been punched.

This is true. Fights happen fast. Also being punched sucks.

"I wish Musk would stop doing brain-damaging stuff like wasting so much time on Twitter", I say, as the monkey's paw curls another finger...

The monkeys paw has been fisting us for a while it feels like!

This would be excellent PR for Zuckerberg.

Especially since he's reportedly been training Jiujitsu for several years now.

Mark Zuckerberg is ready to fight Elon Musk in a cage match

Please let this be real. This is the intention of tonight's rosary.

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