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PaperclipPerfector  1d ago (text post)   1440 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for January 23, 2026

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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I feel like this is mildly culture war but more fun.

When I got my weekly Chipotle slop bowl this week I noticed they were promoting the amount of protein in their bowls. And double servings of chicken being 60+ g of protein.

It being January I am in workout mode and noticing my protein. So fits with what markets well to me at this moment. One thing I only just realized Chicken is like the best protein source in terms of protein per calorie.

Marketing to gym bros is like super not woke. You only really know it’s a gym bro thing if you’re a minor gym bro. Also find it interesting that I believe Chipotle is the definition of a slop bowl, but when I was in college Chipotle was like this shits awesome and tasty compared to my all you can eat college buffet at a private school.

Protein stuff is this year's fiber stuff, lots of food content creators have bemoaned this or celebrated it. If you go to a store and look you'll see shit tons. I'm pretty sure you can even get protein fortified Starbucks right now.

I don't think "gymbro" is anti-woke, it's a pretty common archetype in the culture now. "Gymbros" are harmless. They're even a little cute. They're not quite on the level of "goofy TV sitcom Dad" or "that whiteboi can dance," but they're largely a safe idea. Guardian-Vox hitpieces on "The alt-right lifts weights and eats meat" mostly failed and didn't permeate neutral corporate space.

Unrelatedly, I hate the new cultural obsession with "protein". What the hell is protein? Chicken, I know what that is, beef, pork, shrimp, but everything is "protein" now. We've idealized this raw macromolecule into being a good in and of itself, it can do no wrong, it's healthy! Slather it up in sunflower oil, bread it and fry it, shove the cow in a pigpen and bathe it in its own shit, feed the salmon corn and lock it in a cage, whatever, it doesn't matter what quality it is, it's protein, and protein is good for you. I'm not making a moral objection here -- aesthetically, I think the whole "category" of protein is gross. I don't care how high chicken measures in protein per calorie, diced burrito chicken is gross, I don't want it. I don't need to protein-load my quesadilla or milkshake, I will take however much is pleasing to eat. I don't condition my enjoyment of a steak knowing that it's protein, it fits the right ontological category, it's one of the five basic elemental categories, it's the good one. No, I enjoy steak because it's delicious. And if it's not delicious I'd rather just eat some mashed potatoes or pineapple juice or chocolate cake or pasta, quelle surprise, even without meat.

I was thinking about exactly your comment an hour ago for some reason.

Totally agree.

I just hate marketing more the older I get I think.

I get my ‘protein’ from meat and eggs and dairy and sometimes a (gay) powder - and frankly that’s how 98% of successful gym people do it too.

"What kind of protein would you like?"

"I'll take some kelp with a slice of microbial mat."

What the hell is protein?

British supermarkets could be found selling 'protein pots' at one point.

(It's two boiled eggs and a bit of spinach)

Unrelatedly, I hate the new cultural obsession with "protein".

It’s an overreaction to the food pyramid having been screwed up for the last 60 years. An entire generation of boomers lived under the delusion that saturated fat and animal meat was evil, and refined processed carbohydrates were the cornerstone of a healthy diet. In the 70s you literally had magazine advertisements shilling pure sugar as just the thing you need to kick those food cravings and give you energy to kick those cravings and give you the energy you need to get through your day. The FDA fed an entire generation through the diabetes meat grinder.

I remember reading a post about the American diet in the... early 1900s or something? Might have been a rundown of the past 100 or 200 years? Either way, I remember it mentioning how obsessed people were with fiber. I feel the same way about society and protein right now.

I'm not making a moral objection here -- aesthetically, I think the whole "category" of protein is gross.

Agreed, although for an aesthetically gross slop bowl from Chipotle, "protein" is probably the correct term.

60g of cooked chicken is damn close to a full pound of it depending on the exact fat content / blend.

Edit: I am a dumb. A full pound is closer to 90 - 100g of protein. Carry on.

I imagine Chipotle chicken is probably a bulk blend of mostly thigh meat with some breast met. Almost certainty skinless (for better storage and easier prep).

I've seen the advertisements for the extra protein, but haven't tried it myself. Did your eyeball on it say "yep that's probably about 60?" or did it seem light?

I taste chicken in my burrito. No where close to a full Gym bro measurements. I just can tell they are marketing to it.

I'm pretty sure that solid white canned tuna beats chicken by a small margin, but it's not the most pleasant thing to choke down if you're eating it plain.

Tuna is apparently bad to eat in large (or small if you're worried about this) quantities due to mercury. However other lean fish like haddock and tilapia have less mercury and great protein/calorie ratios.

Haddock: 16.9g protein per 69 kcal. That's almost all protein.

As a tangent to your noticing, after a blog pointed it out for me, I can't help noticing how more and more places use verbiage like "pick a protein" or "protein options" to normalize various bugs and sludge alternatives to normal meat.

I thought it was for vegetarians? 'Protein' meaning basically 'meat or tofu'?

It is. Interpreting it as "they are trying to normalize bugs" is a stretch worthy of Mr. Fantastic himself.

I said "bugs and sludge alternatives" and tofu clearly falls into the latter category. Don't get a sprain patting yourself on the back.

Really, restaurants around you are selling bugs?

He's saying they're changing the vocabulary in order to normalize bugz. But it wouldn't be out of the ordinary, there were a few pushes to get people to eat them - I even had some!

It would be weird to think that they're doing that to get people to eat bugs (which restaurants aren't doing) instead of thinking that they're doing that because they offer tofu (which they are doing). Bugz on the brain?

Not any weirder than brands adding mastectomy scars to cartoon characters in their promo materials, imo.

I wouldn't bat an eye at someone claiming that brands that are doing that are trying to normalize mastectomies. I'd be skeptical of a claim that they're doing that to propitiate Baal.

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