domain:putanumonit.com
HalloweenSnarry
36m ago
I wouldn't say that's intelligence, per se, but evolutionary instincts doing what they're supposed to.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
1hr ago
My opinion is just my opinion and is not meant to represent the macro level worldview of the group you're labeling "conservative." I'm speaking from my own experience of the world, particularly over time, and my views have evolved since I was much younger and the world seemed an eternal spring.
I've read on this very forum the view that parenting doesn't matter much, possibly related to a widespread view that nature trumps nurture. I think parenting most definitely matters--I'm absolutely certain of it--and also because of my own experiences and from watching people grow up around me.
I wouldn't suggest a certain parenting style will produce particular results all the time, but that's different from saying it doesn't matter.
I am not a psychologist thank god, and am not charged with having any particular view of this woman's psychology, damaged or not. I would suggest that her lifestyle at 30 is probably not sustainable in any sort of happy fun time past, say, 40 or beyond. Thankfully it's none of my business.
Jiro
1hr ago
"Bullshit jobs" strikes me as a massive motte and bailey.
There definitely are bullshit jobs. But a very common case of a "bullshit" job is one where the employee does work that's actually essential to a company or to societyy, but doesn't directly produce tangible things, so it feels like his job is useless.
We were in an explicitly Christian homeschool group, and when I was young, my parents would take me to church and related events, weekly park meetups, and other homeschooling and church adjacent things. It was fine, I think. I don't remember too well. I was in Girl Scouts, with mixed results. I wasn't very good friends with the other girls, who went to a Christian school together. I tried attending the school for fifth grade, and dropped out after a semester, because it didn't help my social problems, and the curriculum wasn't anything better than I'd been doing at home. In retrospect, fifth grade is probably a bad time to try out school for the first time. I never tried again, but went to community college starting at 16, and liked it a lot. My husband was in Boy Scouts and had a much better experience, made it up to Eagle Scout level, but isn't sure about it anymore (and was in public school, so probably less socially needy). My parents are both bookish introverts, who did not enjoy public school and made few friends there.
As an autodidact, I had the problem I mentioned of going out into the world and assuming all sorts of things were common knowledge that...weren't. I wonder how avoidable that really is; experts are famous for forgetting that their "jargon" isn't common knowledge, after all. It may be that any good education, no matter where it comes from, will set graduates up for that. Did you have that experience too?
That wasn't much of a problem for me, but I'm closer to the average interests and IQ than, for instance, Jason in the link, and my specialization is novels and art, so all my male friends in college could out-nerd me. Also, I joined the Orthodox Church (literally Byzantine liturgics) at that time, and everyone my age there out-nerded me all the time.
I guess my main experience has been that it's important to go find the little pockets of quirky book people, and move there. I've moved a fair bit in my 20s. There are all these interesting little subcultures, interesting little Great Books colleges, interesting little bookstores that run their own seminars, all sorts of things, and I just had to kind of follow them around. My husband and I are very high in trait Openess, and we've discussed that if the kids are having a lot of trouble in the local environments, we'd probably try moving, perhaps countries, or at least across several states, as close to a first resort. Which has mostly worked for me as an adult, anyway.
Edit: Ha, my mom talks about learning to read at three, by her father "reading the newspaper to her." She was especially unhappy that mandatory bussing (there weren't even black neighborhoods, it was just because that's what the other cities were doing) disrupted her ability to even get decent friendships out of school, or bike there and back herself
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
2hr ago
I'd like a movie where some gigachad Sean Connery secret agent from the 1950s comes forward in time and has to deal with modern norms and lame gadgets, shows all the paper-pushers and pencilnecks what real racism and sexism looks like.
Demolition Man, but different timeframes.
jkf
2hr ago
Children can no longer enjoy the vibrant culture of cities like London, Paris and New York as they could even in the 1980s
...
When children have access to safe cities, they develop more independence, courage and can develop more maturity.
He's suggesting that NYC should be made safe again... like it was in the 1980s?
Cities are not fucking safe, yo -- navigating them despite that fact is what actually develops independence, courage and maturity.
(the country is not safe either, but in different ways)
Gaashk
2hr ago
What are some of the most important things you've learned since having kids?
I'm not sure. Parenting advice tends to be either vacuous, or too specific to be worth giving out generally.
erwgv3g34
2hr ago
Does 50 Shades belong in the romance category?
...Yes?
The romance genre is just the female version of pornography. Much like purpose of porn is to stimulate male reproductive instincts, the purpose of romance movies is to stimulate female reproductive instincts.
The difference is that men and women are attracted to different things, so instead of men watching an endless stream of videos depicting naked girls who moan a lot, women consume an endless stream of stories about billionaire athlete demon pirates kings who declare their undying love for the audience surrogate.
Tree
3hr ago
Also your characterizing Aella simply as a "sexually liberated woman" seems off here. Something something motte and bailey.
That is the point. It’s supposed to be a dilemma. The conservative tends to favour an education similar to aella’s, but detests what she has become (“damaged”). The liberal otoh detests aella’s education (“abuse”), yet finds she ended up fine (”sexually liberated”) .
So the lesson is: do the opposite, like George (not you). Every instinct they have, was proven wrong.
As to my own opinion, I don't think she's damaged, because for one, she doesn't think she's damaged. She also seems to have a pleasant undamaged personality, not bitter, mean or aggressive.
And I don't think parenting matters much, so that's how I escape my own dilemma.
TitaniumButterfly
3hr ago
Don't really have time to get into it atm but I didn't want to leave you hanging. Just play with it. Try to get it to do stuff. You'll be amazed.
urquan
Blessings crown the head of the righteous, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.
3hr ago
Ah, I see what you're saying now. Sure, his ideas should be judged on their own merits, regardless of what his conduct in his personal life is.
But to be clear, I don't find findom offensive because it's degenerate, I find it offensive because it's stupid -- there are much more efficient ways to pay people to get your rocks off, even if your thing is being humiliated. For instance, you could pay someone to actually have sex with you while telling you you're a loser.
It's an economic waste, is all. Like someone investing their fortune in beanie babies. I just couldn't look someone in the eyes or think them intelligent if I found out they did it.
TitaniumButterfly
3hr ago
Latchkey kids.
There's a term I haven't heard in a while. But I do remember hearing a lot about it in the early 90s, including, iirc, actual TV commercials denigrating it, presumably paid for by some kind of advocacy group.
anon_
3hr ago
Gaashk
3hr ago
I don’t think that’s fair. Who doesn’t value being young and attractive?
Sure.
I don't necessarily think that she's wrong. When four year olds are asked what they want to be, and the boys say firefighter, and the girls say princess, they aren't wrong, even if the boys could literally become firefighters whereas the girls could only metaphorically become princesses.
The karate story is weird. Plenty of parents would be upset and embarrassed if their seven year old walked into a trial karate lesson, saw that the other kids were smaller, and proceeded to throw a tantrum about it, then hide in the bathroom sobbing. That's significantly worse than the average public school kid who's parents spent way less effort instilling discipline into. It's more in line with the public school kids who have behavior action plans in place. It's not too surprising that her parents would be pretty shocked, they must have actually believed in the early obedience regime, or why go to so much trouble? It turns out they were wrong, and would have gotten better a psychological grounding by reading Notes From Underground.
Pigeon
coo coo
3hr ago
You're right in geological terms, which I definitely missed in the original comment, but I think it's more circumstantial than "high demand for coal". Imperial China, for example, had similar issues with deforestation as Britain did, and had widespread adoption of coal both as a daily fuel and as a metallurgical resource in response to this especially in the Song dynasty; Marco Polo notes the predominance of coal as a fuel, for a European source that's a couple hundred years down the line.
I'm not completely sure why Britain had the need to artificially drain its waterlogged mines while China didn't, despite widespread use of coal. I do recall that the Chinese generally didn't employ shaft mining until quite late, that shaft mines would just be abandoned rather than drained even in the late Qing, and that some Chinese mines had relatively efficient natural drainage that made them less flood-prone; perhaps the geological details of the mines themselves, and the mining techniques necessary for them, were significant factors. I'm also of the impression that viable mines in Britain were able to be operated very close to waterways in a way that e.g. China's (or perhaps other European countries, as well) didn't, which may have lead to different financial bottlenecks.
Speculatively, I also wouldn't be surprised if coal and firewood consumption fell significantly, at least at a per capita level, after the Yuan (14th century or so), which would at least partially explain why there was lower demand for further improvements in mining.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
3hr ago
Greenwald isn't exactly a spring chicken. If he has poor judgement, I think people should be able to show that directly rather than via proxy.
Findom might be insane, but is probably on the least offensive side of the spectrum of degen behavior, and I find it darkly funny that the liberals freaking out about this apparently don't see all their gay friends are doing this right now.
anon_
3hr ago
In many cases it raises costs significantly, not because the individual tradesmen are paid that much more (they are, but that's not the problem), it's that they have union-mandated staffing levels. If bargaining were truly Coasian (hah!) then you could easily make a deal to increase salaries even further in exchange for bringing staffing to international standard.
This killed a plan by Steph Curry to open a HQ in the dogpatch.
George_E_Hale
insufferable blowhard
3hr ago
I am not sure characterizing the experiences she had as a child as "religious conservative" is accurate, or at least it's drawing the Venn diagram a bit large to encompass what I'd consider pathologic violence. The getting whacked with the stick bit repeatedly when told "come here" is far more a weird, violence and control for the sake of it experience than simple religious conservatism at work.
I have no idea if religious conservativism leads to damaged girls. I do know absent or distant father figures, and in particularly violent and/or emotionally manipulative ones, do very much lead to damaged girls. And that's what she described in her partial memoir that was linked.
Also your characterizing Aella simply as a "sexually liberated woman" seems off here. Something something motte and bailey.
If I were her friend ot acquaintance (I'm not) I expect she'd not be able to tolerate me, as I'd be telling her all this LSD and free love isn't going to work out well for her in later life.
urquan
Blessings crown the head of the righteous, but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.
3hr ago
It's these people that suddenly decided that boosting leaked videos showing you're a paypig findom-enjoyer is a valid angle of attack on someone.
I mean, given how insane of a concept it is to pay a sex worker to aggressively not have sex with you, I do consider doing that to be a major red flag for someone's judgment even in non-political terms.
HonoriaWinchester
3hr ago
Once when my husband was playing with our toddler in our driveway, a police officer showed up saying someone had called about "an infant by the side of the road" at our address. He had been in physical contact with our kid the whole time...so now we joke that he's invisible. :D
Meanwhile, as a city kid I was allowed to cross the street at 3, walk 1/4 mile to the park at 4, walk generally around the neighborhood within about a half mile radius at 5, and ride the bus home from school as a latchkey kid at 6.
My impression of the past is mostly formed by British and Scottish novels, where lower class children would rove around in packs, causing trouble (a la Oliver Twist), and upper class children would have governesses, tutors, or go to boarding school, where they were supervised a bit less than now, or about the same amount, and the boys would oppress each other a bit.
What first comes to my mind is the Five Children and It series--they had a governess but were allowed out on their own (weren't they?).
Then there's Understood Betsy, which...could be taken as a "city kids are starting to be less free-range, that's bad" novel from 100 years ago. (Though that's really an oversimplification. But for the purposes for this discussion...)
Then for American history, well, see the "Schoolhouse Blizzard" or "Children's Blizzard"--so named because it hit just when school was letting out, so many of the victims were children trying to get home from school. David Laskin's book about it argued that it made Great Plains settlers of the time (1888) conclude they had "trusted the land too much" or allowed children too much free range. (Little House on the Prairie and Anne of Green Gables are both set before this, in the 1870s; The Long Winter was 1880-81.)
the age at which a child could feasibly be wandering the countryside or neighborhood (8? 10?) is the same age when they can be quietly reading novels or playing with their siblings or being dropped off at events while their parents drink a coffee or visit a bookstore or something. Unless that's also not a thing anymore?
IDK but I do know there's controversy in Girl Scouts over whether parents should be (a) allowed at or (b) required to be at Daisy meetings (K-1st), because some feel that kindergartners are too young to give a coherent account of what's happened to them so parents should always be there... Meanwhile, a constant source of angst in parenting groups is "What age is old enough to assume a party is drop-off rather than parents-attend?" This freaked me out when I first saw it because I'm old, I didn't know "parents-attend" was even a thing. (Remember in Beezus and Ramona (1955) where preschool Ramona invites neighborhood kids over for a party and they all get dropped off?)
celluloid_dream
4hr ago
Maybe. I also stay away from the Marvel stuff, but from the description, it least sounds like it's not nothing.
Yelena is sort of protective of Bob, in a big sister way
... but it's more like a found family type of thing.
that's something!
At the end, after he saves the world together with his best friend
... basically best friends who occasionally kiss
also something
But I haven't seen the movies, so maybe you're right and it's a wasted opportunity.
There wasn't much romance in the new Top Gun movie either, Cruise spent much of the non-jet parts being dressed down by former lovers which I found a bit irritating and unnecessary. Quite different to the old one.
In either of the Mission Impossible 'Dead Reckoning' movies there wasn't much romance.
Not sure how you can have romance in the modern era where there seems to be so much emphasis on men being denigrated. Traditional James Bond style romance is too rapey, Roger Moore's Bond is right out. Even soft wooing can still give the ick to some extent. The male can't pursue the female without being humiliated it seems,. And if the female is pursuing the man it seems like male wish fulfillment fantasy, the Japanese trope where a very passive guy ends up with a harem of 10/10s because he's 'nice'.
So how do you have a romance then if neither party can pursue? Ironically, lots of women want Roger Moore x10, they want a billionaire werewolf lumberjack cowboy with a massive cock. The 50 shades of grey movie made 570 million on a budget of 40 million, it's a clear success. As in my previous post, many many women want the alpha male version of Malfoy: https://www.themotte.org/post/877/culture-war-roundup-for-the-week/187490?context=8#context
But directors and high society/PMC feminists absolutely refuses to permit the alpha male version of Malfoy, Rowling wrote him to be a wimp and a loser. I saw a funny thread on /gif/ the other day where the premise was 'feminists/liberals fucked hard' and so naturally all these commenters joined in a pointless political debate on 4chan's third most degen pornography board: 'you guys are incels posting this garbage', 'its so cringe, trump supporters don't have sex' and nobody realized that the clips were all from the reddit forum, fuckingfascists. It was leftwing and liberal women who were into this stuff, getting fucked by trump supporters, getting turned into tradwives. Femgooners were to blame. You can tell this instantly because none of it or the stuff from fuckingfascists was anime. Clearly it wasn't authentic right-wing content. There's a huge gap between the roles and expectations that society tries to project and what's actually happening, at least in terms of masturbation fantasies.
I'd like a movie where some gigachad Sean Connery secret agent from the 1950s comes forward in time and has to deal with modern norms and lame gadgets, shows all the paper-pushers and pencilnecks what real racism and sexism looks like. The femgooners can have their dangerous alpha male. I can have an antiwoke, fun, action movie. Everybody wins except the directorial class who've been pumping out all these terrible marvel movies.
OliveTapenade
4hr ago
This also matches, for what it's worth, personal experience of Ethiopian Orthodox churches - humble, friendly, and they take very good care of their places of worship. I have nothing but positive things to say about them, and their attitude towards non-Ethiopian churches, at least in the West, is very gracious.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
4hr ago
Sure, but everybody's acting like no one would know about the video barring Greenwald's actions themselves. So I'm asking what context justifies the conclusion.
Some jokes just write themselves.
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