domain:astralcodexten.substack.com
GBRK
1d ago
A high number of FTMs I've known have at least stated they're autistic
Yeah, that's part of the reason why I'm only assigning a 1-5% probability of this being true. I could come up with an argument along the lines of, "autistic women do better with men than schizoid women" but that has its own problems.
GBRK
1d ago
Part of this satisfaction could also be gaining a new social group.
Yep, that's what I'm addressing with the
and joining a dedicated community
bit. The autism compensation culture is my explanation for why they join the "trans" group specifically. Sure, they can join a wargaming group and have fun with fellow autists, but reinforcing autistic behavior makes the social deficits in the rest of their life worse. trans groups, meanwhile, teach them to be pro-social at least when dealing with LGB people and white liberals.
This kind of shit is prime fodder for someone like hoe_math to respond to. Men who make up the bulk of an actual representative sample, to her, are Not People.
Oh, the women are idiots, rest assured. They've presumably been raised on low-quality romance literature and misinterpret the least effort towards a pleasant date from an attractive man to be a sign of deep and abiding love. So when some socially adept and quite rapacious men figure out that there's an ample supply of idiots out there who just need a meager offering of romance-lit aesthetics and who can't initiate or sustain a real romance from their own abilities, said idiots have no idea of how to approach romance from... well, not exactly an adversarial stance, but at least an active one, where you accept the base fact that life between man and woman (possibly man and man or woman and woman, not much personal insight there) is always a negotiation and you need to stake out your own ground to get what you want. And a relationship without disagreements or fights is either a temporary anomaly or an active con. But I won't say the men are acting in any way reasonable or just in this case. I can get a young idiot screwing up and breaking the heart of a woman, but doing it repeatedly shows that he doesn't care about them at all.
I don't think these are representatives of the average woman, either. At least, I really hope not. Although the simple fact that I haven't run into women like this is not any evidence of anything in particular.
FarmReadyElephants
1d ago
Pretty common is an overstatement, but it's a behavior I've seen around AGP/sissy spaces. I used to be AGP. Not all trans people are AGP, but it seems that a greater portion of AGP people are going trans nowadays than back when I was into it.
In the broad sense, getting turned on by behavior the person associates with feminity is the most common and defining AGP behavior, and that is not rare at all. The trans redditors call it "gender euphoria" nowadays, to avoid calling it a paraphilia.
kky
1d ago
The preferences are, I think, the big part. And the main of that is understanding what the desired end-goal relationship is, how that can be founded, how it can be maintained... and so on. Then the natural partner becomes more clear, and the virtues that a woman can cultivate beyond sexual attractiveness. But if you don't know what you want in the end, how can you tell the difference between a good partner and a bad partner, rather than simply an attractive or unattractive partner? And that in turn requires a vision or model for a stable romance, and considerations of old age, and so on and so forth. But it sounds like the women in question are, at best, thinking of the early phases of a romance. I'm not sure they're even looking ahead to something as minimal as moving in together, much less marriage or children. And if that's the case... yeah, I guess it tracks that when the author talks about how much effort her girlies are putting in, it's about getting the right outfit and putting makeup on, not figuring out ways to show off a loving and nurturing spirit (e.g. cookies, not that hard to make but very pleasing).
But on the other hand, I don't think it would matter to the guys they're currently dating how nice or not they are. Sounds like they'd tolerate a mean or dull woman just so long as she puts out, which is a pretty sad place to be. If those women are losers, then just imagine the guy who spends all his time trying to sleep with losers...
Shrike
1d ago
One of the interesting things that the right wing in the USA is doing is working to destroy many of the institutions that can be deployed to be The Man (the Department of Education being perhaps the prime example).
I don't think this eliminates the chance that the right-wing counterculture suffers from victory (as seems to typically be the case!) but I do think, if successful, it makes it more difficult for the right to seize and hold the low ground of "mandatory and cringe" that typically alienates people. Banking on "diversity of thought" to skew right-wing is a bold choice that may not pay off, but if it does it is actually likely to help keep the right more diverse (and more tolerant) by ensuring that the right's "client base" (for lack of a better term) is diversified.
2D3D
1d ago
Honestly I'm surprised the left hasn't tried to figure out Asmongold 's popularity with young men
"Doesn't look like anything to me."
The left is approaching the problem statement from the wrong direction: men aren't right wing because they listen to a magically popular midwit trash goblin, the roach king is popular precisely because he shits on leftist shibboleths. Its a literal blind spot for the left to see any positive value in the anti-woke and generally anti-identitarian rhetoric of Asmongold, which is one of many blind spots but the most pertinent one. The only time such data can be noticed is when it is a cudgel to attack enemies "the evil men like Asmon only because they are anti-woke" or "Asmon is anti-woke because he needs to appeal to chuds!"
Viewership stats seem opaque but my gut tells me the right wing anti social-justice creators have way more traction than social justice. I did a quick peek to see how Breadtubers are doing and I didn't realize how inconsequential they are, much less against Asmongold. This just reinforces the point that the left wing just doesn't have the sauce to keep audiences engaged, but the reason for that isn't the packaging its the message itself.
Leftists are hoping that they can infiltrate mens spaces to share the message, convinced that the gatekeeping is what keeps the message from being received. Its like they never learnt the problem is the message itself. Infiltrating mens spaces to spread the gospel of The Future Is Female doesn't create converts, it hollows the space. Shoving ugly they/thems in Concord didn't tap into Modern Audiences and for all the technicolor progressives populating Overwatch R34 still clearly shows skinny hot chicks dominate.
HighResolutionSleep
1d ago
I mean, sure, you could overindex in on the worst example on offer. But the average between the men she's describing seems to offer little more than a shrug when it comes to commitment.
I'm assured that this is enough to completely befuddle the average woman, as though she were being promised lifelong marriage. I'm not sure what to make of this.
TIRM
1d ago
an unregulated free market privileges large corporations over workers. I assume that most of the commentariat here is already familiar with this analysis.
Familiar sure. And also understanding it is false.
kky
1d ago
That's a pretty naive take. What is "it feels like we're falling in love" followed by "I did say that. But that’s also how all my good first dates feel. Like we could fall in love!" if not clear and obvious duplicity? That's straight from the top-level link. Haven't you heard of lying with implications before? You don't have to spout literal falsehoods to deceive someone as to your intentions. And intentions are what romance is about.
TIRM
1d ago
an onlyfans star writing about this on her substack might have motives other than sincerely seeking a solution to a problem
So that's now two onlyfans performers who determined that a substack is a good way to advertise to some potential clients. Aella and this one.
SerialStateLineXer
1d ago
And the dissent was all conservatives. The Democrats were happy to throw chronic pain patients under the bus in order to preserve an obviously wrong interpretation of the Commerce Clause because it's the source of the Federal Government's power to regulate purely intrastate affairs.
ThomasdelVasto
Κύριε, ποίησόν με ὄργανον τῆς ἀγάπης σου
1d ago
Also look up the "triple tradition." Confucianism, much like modern humanist atheism, succeeded because it was deeply embedded in the Buddhist and Taoist religious frameworks.
aldomilyar
1d ago
I'd say they'd suck less for the average woman, if they were capable of setting up boundaries.
Prettymuch. The average woman is likely capable of getting into a stable relationship with a pretty good guy from a dating app if they just jiggle their preferences a bit. The average guy has to go on a massive path of self improvement to get attractive enough to then actually start meaningfully 'dating' then can maybe look at dealing with it.
HighResolutionSleep
1d ago
I was responding to what this poster said, what was discussed in the article, and what you yourself said above:
This is not a new problem. The age old refrain of the cad is 'I swear I'll marry you, I just can't wait'
Is there something between the lines here that I'm missing? Do you consider a man promising nothing and promising marriage to be basically the same thing? Where does women's personhood enter in to this equation?
hydroacetylene
1d ago
This guy was grating to read but it sounds like there might be a lot more wrong with him than gender nonconformity? He keeps circling back to 'messing with sex hormones changes things' but see also puberty.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
It's clearly possible to dangle a relationship in front of a girl who likes you without referring to the possibility directly, men do it on accident all the time.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
Confucianism as not-a-religion is a pretty modern frame; while westerners have been confused about it for a while it does include substantial ritual/preternatural commitments as traditionally practiced. See 'Chinese rites controversy' for further information.
AlexanderTurok
Alt-MSNBC
1d ago
My concern is that I’ve never really heard of a secular society with those kinds of restrictions on sexuality; the only places that successfully curtail premarital sex do so explicitly through a religious point of view.
Confucianism. You could ad-hoc define it as a religion along with communism, liberalism, etc., but then the statement is tautologically true.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
What about people who collect guns to eat organic food(a good portion of hunters rambling on about the health benefits of venison) or who drink tea while they watch football?
Tribal tendencies are just tendencies. I think we all know that but I also think the causation goes the other way; people who think driving a pickup truck is a marker of a respectable man belong to a particular culture, and it's a culture that Trump appeals to. People who seek solace in Buddhist practices divorced from spirituality belong to a different culture that really cares about LGBT rights.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
But I will say, because it's quite an interesting detail, that violent, destructive riots by black people in the 20th century has been a largely northern phenomenon in the U.S. Southern law-and-order has been much less coddling of such things,
Southern cities are also much less segregated, that might have something to do with it.
WhiningCoil
1d ago
Women could be pleasant.
If all you have to offer is what's between your legs, and men flee as soon as they get it, I mean, sure one option to create a pussy cartel. The other is women would just be pleasant. Be nice, be warm, be loving, create a positive atmosphere. And maybe change your preferences in men too.
But that codes too "Stepford Wives", and women have rejected it for the political prospect of being a boss bitch and unchecked neuroticism.
hydroacetylene
1d ago
I remember sex negative feminists growing up. Girlbosses but no bikinis, that sort of thing. I think it's just a generational barber pole.
Maybe that has something to do with their messaging or decisions about which issues to prioritize?
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