domain:abc.net.au
Corvos
3hr ago
Oh, I know. Believe me. But you said
when you drill into it with 'the worst she can say is no, why don't you give it a whirl' the explanation is 'because then I won't be able to speak to anyone she knows ever again'. Sorry, rejections just aren't that awkward
And I’m trying to show how the current situation developed. It’s not (just) because young men are afraid of a polite no, it’s because we were told (and then shown) that asking without prior explicit interest was sexual harassment. People therefore moved to a platform that structurally required women to show interest before any interaction.
most women prefer some sexual harassment to no interest at all
I’m not sure this is true. I think most women explicitly prefer no interest to unwanted interest. If female-centric outlets started saying loudly, “don’t punish men for politely trying their luck” then the dynamics might change quickly.
benmmurphy
3hr ago
Women don't want to spontaneously play pickup basketball because they will be criticised for doing it for 'attention' :/
BahRamYou
3hr ago
But I want to talk about jobs. It's time for a nice change of pace. Back in the day, to get a blue collar job you walked in, physically, to a blue collar workplace and asked for one. It's true; ask the old men and they will tell you. And you can in fact still do this; I reckon any one of you can find a job within biking distance of your house if not walking distance by asking around enough, in maybe an afternoon's effort- granted, probably a job as, like, a dishwasher, but the boomers don't regale you with stories of walking into a job as CEO of the company
I actually did literally get a job as a dishwasher that way as a teenager. But it helped that, (a), someone else I knew worked there, so he had already vouched for me and told me how to ask and (b) the place itself was such a shitty job that no sane adult would want the job. They relied on teenagers to young to have any other options and, uh, recent ex-cons.
More recently I tried to get a bartending job this way. The bar was crazy busy, the staff was all obviously overworked and exhausted. I asked them if I could apply. They seemed open to the idea, but they were just shift workers, the actual manager and owner were nowhere on site. They took down my name and info, but never called me back. I have no idea what happened to my "application," it seemed just the same as an online app where you throw your app into the ether and it disappears without a trace.
I actually think people have plenty of grit. See: all the people hitting the gym every day, or training for marathons, or grinding out thousands online of hours to try and launch their streaming career. It's just that "grit" sucks, and the modern world makes everything so unpleasant and unnatural that it leaves people feeling confused and isolated. Most of us aren't cut out to be pushy telemarketers who will ignore all social cues and relentlessly press for what we want.
sarker
Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
3hr ago
info-hazard Daughter Question
I'm almost afraid to ask. Is this just the "think about it logically" copypasta?
netstack
Texas is freedom land
3hr ago
Sorry, what other comments do you mean? The only thing I’m seeing in your profile is a copy of this post with a couple words changed.
hydroacetylene
4hr ago
Are there women on this forum?
Yes. We even have women mods, iirc. Gaashk and 2rafa at least are women and mostly not progressive, by motte standards or otherwise.
hydroacetylene
4hr ago
Is it any wonder that people got afraid to date except on an app where she’s explicitly expressed interest by swiping right?
Except everyone hates that. It doesn’t get any dates, it doesn’t get anyone anything, and most women prefer some sexual harassment to no interest at all(because they won’t show interest first).
Seriously, have you EVER seen a group of women playing pickup basketball or soccer in the park? I never have. Literally never. (Although sometimes one or two bold women will join the guys).
Nor have I.
Closest to male/female parity I’ve seen or experienced would be in beach volleyball, where women may ask to join on-going pickup games so they can better teehee around in a bikini and bask in male attention.
I’ve played a lot of pickup basketball games growing up and as a young adult, but probably a single digit number of them included a woman on a squad that tagged in (generally of quite different aesthetics than the aforementioned volleyball women). And they’d be left generally unguarded by (us) men. I’ve never seen just women playing each other in a pickup basketball game In the Wild, ranging from 2v2 to 5v5.
Of course, one might counter that this is only due to societal factors and internalised misogyny that leave women too traumatised, anxious, and self-conscious to play pickup games against each other, that life as a woman is too exhausting and time-consuming as to leave mana for playing sports, or that men are always manspreading their way across courts and fields and crowding out women with their toxic competitiveness and rapey male gaze.
With regard to organised sports, my hypothesis has been that, given low birth rates among married Western couples, fathers with no or few sons have a tendency to treat their daughter(s) as the son(s) they lack as cope and compensation to keep the info-hazard Daughter Question thoughts at bay.
Thus resulting in higher female participation in sports than there would otherwise be. Of course, this is no guarantee that one’s daughter won’t do the usual thot-maxxing when it comes to her profession, hobbies, or “hobbies,” as Maycee Barber’s father was recently reminded.
Sheepclothes
4hr ago
For sure. I was pretty tired while writing my post, so I didn't do a very good job of expressing my overall intent with it. What I had was an extreme, and unhealthy reaction to my girlfriend's normal past.
There really is a part of the male ego that many of us have to vary degrees that just wants to be the fucking best, period, completely unthreatened by those losers in the past. But then if they were losers, that devalues her!
You hit the nail on the head here. I was definitely struggling with swinging between these two extremes. To fix that, I had to do a lot of work with empathy, understanding why my girlfriend got together with these people and why she left. But I could only start doing that after I got over obsessing about details in the past.
I still try to focus more on how great I am and not how bad they were, as that's healthier. It's all a crutch to get to the ultimate end goal of becoming fully secure in myself and not thinking about her past any more than a mentally healthy person normally would. Getting older should take care of that. For now, it beats feeling bad all the time.
RandomRanger
Just build nuclear plants!
4hr ago
Because they'd rather lose goods to shoplifting than pay employees
They've been telling their employees NOT to interfere with robbers, this isn't a matter of penny-pinching. Plug 'employee fired for obstructing theft in store' into your search engine.
Nor does law enforcement care to crack down on basics like robberies, car theft, vagrants, drug dealing and so on (unless of course Xi Xingping is coming to town). See the open air drug markets in US cities, or how some US train stations are used for enjoying narcotics rather than travelling by train: https://www.latimes.com/california/story/2023-03-14/horror-the-deadly-use-of-drugs-on-metro-trains
It's not just corporations, it's a breakdown in society generally. The corporations don't want theft of their products but they're clearly more afraid of inconveniencing criminals, just like every other institution.
I am actually not sure if this economists is blind. I think he might be asking the question when he can’t say the answer.
They do discuss this paper
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0014292198000191
And he eventually says this.
"How different countries deal with race and ethnic differences more broadly" is very much an example of the cross-country differences I think are interesting!”
I am updating my priors to he knew he was posting bait in a completely innocent way. My guess is he’s not woke. He chose Buenos Aires for the comparison when I think he could have chosen many other comparisons. Even I think Mexico City would work as I know plenty of rich Mexicans who live there. Argentina even seems to the average person to have some Nazi/fascists connotations. So he picked a country without diversity to beg the question why is their urban core different.
Amadan
"I would put a screwdriver through your eyeballs if I could"
4hr ago
How snail-brained gullible are you exactly?
This was an unnecessarily antagonistic comment in an otherwise fine post.
ser
4hr ago
What product/service has had significant impact on your quality of life? For me, it's was a nice standing desk and a nice office chair (Herman Miller Embody). I don't even stand much at my desk, but being able to make minor adjustments to its height has been very useful since most desks are too short for me.
sarker
Where are the Snowdens of yesteryear?
4hr ago
The peak of US crude oil production seems to have been a few months ago, but as far as I can tell "wtf happened in 1971" style rhetoric is still in full effect.
https://www.eia.gov/dnav/pet/hist/LeafHandler.ashx?n=pet&s=mcrfpus2&f=m
ResoluteRaven
5hr ago
I work in tech, but my employer explicitly forbids walk-ins and will throw out anyone who tries. Which did happen once.
As for the social consequences of getting rejected, it’s kind of circular. I was on the internet in 2010 and feminist websites did pretty much say on behalf of frustrated gamer girls everywhere, “asking out a girl without her explicit permission in advance is literally sexual harassment and me and my friends treat it as such”. In retrospect, that was a narrow subgroup of crazies but without experience, how is a young, naive man supposed to work that out? Then MeTop comes along and, yup, the wrong pass can destroy your career.
Is it any wonder that people got afraid to date except on an app where she’s explicitly expressed interest by swiping right?
iprayiam3
5hr ago
Sure but can you be slightly more specific? What market is it in? What class of problems does it solve? Is it entertainment? Is it business focused? Is it for everyone? For girls? Young people? Technical people?
ResoluteRaven
5hr ago
Two somewhat related examples are liberals who believe that "the moral arc of the universe bends towards justice" being confronted with what in their mental framework are inexplicable political reversals such as the election of Trump or the repeal of Roe v. Wade and (I imagine this one might be a bit more controversial here) economists who don't connect the economic malaise in the US after 1971 with the peak in domestic oil production and subsequent higher energy costs because their thinking has become almost entirely divorced from the actual material inputs that drive the production of goods and services.
hydroacetylene
5hr ago
A warship almost certainly had the ability to sink their crappy wooden boat before they could surrender.
Corvos
5hr ago
Thanks for the serious reply.
The country is England, just for the sake of clarity. I might be wrong, but Somerville looks like a pretty standard suburb to me, I think we’re already building in at least that level of density in most areas. Here is a randomly chosen town street. It is nice, though :)
We seriously lack accessible green space anywhere near the big cities, which are constantly expanding. And big chunks of land are rock moorland and difficult to build on (including most of Scotland).
yellowgreenred
5hr ago
Whenever the topic of tradwives and fertility comes up, my first thought is, what do the women on this board think? Are there women on this forum?
Downthread and over the months I've been here, I seen users argue that women's employment and college admissions be significantly curtailed, that makeup should be banned, that the 19th amendment be repealed, and so on.
hydroacetylene
5hr ago
Mormons in the 2010's had a TFR of almost 3.5, and tradCaths today have a claimed TFR(yes, the internal data is not very good) of 3.6. Both of those groups use technology and the internet.
hydroacetylene
5hr ago
It's not a drive for status. It's a terror of being dependent on men. Mormons, tradCaths, Amish, etc have gotten around this by convincing their women and girls that their men will treat them well, it's the ones outside, out in the world, that you should scared of. Obviously that's harder to do on a society wide scale.
I should probably clarify my argument; what you're offering here is policy reasons against the summary execution of pirates--which is fair enough, but not completely on point to my objection.
@ares claimed that summarily executing the pirates would have been 1) morally wrong, and 2) not in keeping with the rules of war. These are two distinct claims.
In response to 1), I am pointing out that summary execution of pirates was historically a universal practice. That doesn't make it right--slavery was also universally practiced, and also wrong--but you need to show your work in dismissing it. Your own arguments about incentives would be relevant to a consequentialist moral analysis, but not to other systems. Even in a consequentialist frame, @ares makes several good points about the thorny issues of how to handle pirates otherwise.
In response to 2), the laws of war, expressed in documents like the Geneva or Hague Conventions, don't apply. Pirates are by tradition "outlaw," and may be exterminated wherever found, in time of peace or war alike. They are by definition non-state actors, as distinct from privateers, who have an official state patron (generally via a letter of marque and reprisal) but are not a part of that state's uniformed military.
Executing pirates may well be contrary to US military policy, expressed through the UCMJ and various theater rules of engagement, but those judgments should not be confused with unsupported moral claims or general appeals to "the rules of war."
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