domain:epistle.us
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
23m ago
Chill the hell out, man. This place isn't your private toilet.
vorpa-glavo
37m ago
The framework spawned by therapy culture in the west is particularly bad, mental health awareness is bad, stoicism is probably correct.
I get that you are making a distinction between "therapy culture" and "therapy" proper, but it is worth pointing out that Stoicism's DNA is in CBT by way of REBT's influence on it, with REBT's founder Albert Ellis being influenced by (among other sources) the Stoic philosophers. So Stoicism's influence is part of modern therapy, even if it is not part of modern therapy culture.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
37m ago
Are you talking about legality, or are you talking about lack of enforcement? Because, although it was a while back, I distinctly remember stuff like a SWAT raid on a raw-milk co-op.
vorpa-glavo
1hr ago
Catholic doctrine holds Christ above Mary (right?) but I'm pretty sure most Catholics worship and respect Mary more.
Technically, the Catholic position is to worship (latria) God alone, and to merely respect or venerate (dulia) saints, including Mary. However, because of Mary's special status as the Mother of God and Queen of Heaven, she is offered "hyperdulia" the highest form of respect or veneration.
Tenaz
1hr ago
Regarding not having a plan for a career, I have to say this was always the case for me.
I truly don't understand this--what you study has such a large impact on the rest of your life. It's probably the single biggest choice you'll make! If there is anywhere you should exercise judgement it is there.
In previous centuries, a husband in his twenties could start working and earn enough to feed his family and eventually even buy a house. Today, plenty of people feel they need two post-grad incomes to even consider kids, and few have delusions of being able to afford to own a house from the money they will ever make.
I can't comment on Europe, but in America most people have similar beliefs which, to my eyes, are obviously wrong. I have friends constantly complaining about how poor they are and how they can't make rent, but also literally never cook, choosing instead to eat out for every single meal. They spend more than their rent weekly on food, but prefer complaining to budgeting. It seems to me that most who complain about such things have really not put much effort into finding solutions.
Tenaz
1hr ago
I'm not even sure what I would be looking for. I've known quite a few women who claim to have been taken by surprise by Master's degree requirements for their desired jobs, and no men. These women generally finish with a Bachelor's and enter the workforce doing something only somewhat related to their major.
I looked for surveys asking about how well people understood the educational requirements for their chosen careers and didn't find any.
boo
1hr ago
broadly the same kind of state they already live in?
The Free State of Texas is going to have MORE gun freedoms, more free speech, no abortions, no homos, no blacks, no woman votes, and no troons. It will be paradise.
self_made_human
Kai su, teknon?
1hr ago
Hmmmmmmm....
Gaashk
2hr ago
that doesn't mean you can sell your food.
Yes I can. Nobody bothers the tamale vendors, clearly selling stuff they made in their home kitchens from out of their personal cooler chests. The teachers in the schools are selling their home cooked food (mostly tamales) to each other through the official newsletter. Just if they make enough money at it, they'll be expected to pay taxes.
Tenaz
2hr ago
If everyone's following my advice now, then I'll tell all women to get married immediately and all men to be good husbands. Problem solved.
Really, though, selection is actually a thing that all women can do. If nobody marries deadbeat men, then deadbeats and the corresponding bottom X% of the female population just never marry. This probably leads to some good effects--the marginal deadbeats realize they need to shape up to have a chance with a woman and do so.
It's good general advice to ask people to be selective about choosing spouses because it encourages everyone to shape up.
And yeah, some husbands will still be deadbeats, but I did say women should do both--be selective and get good educations.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
2hr ago
I have heard of it happening now and again, or in an emergency, but it is absolutely not a regular thing
Weird, was pretty common when I was a kid.
it was definitely not illegal to watch each other's kids
Yeah, it's also not illegal to invite someone over to dinner, that doesn't mean you can sell your food.
Gaashk
2hr ago
If you're already taking care of a kid full-time, you can throw in a couple more, and barely see the difference
This doesn't appear to be true. It's extremely complicated to get a stay at home mom to watch another mom's kids even for a couple of hours of babysitting. I have heard of it happening now and again, or in an emergency, but it is absolutely not a regular thing, and I could definitely not pay my stay at home mom friends to watch my kids reliably, all day, at any price that I would be able to pay. I grew up around stay at home moms, it was definitely not illegal to watch each other's kids, and it also very rarely happened at a greater scale than very light occasional babysitting.
Gaashk
2hr ago
Ideally all women do both--getting sufficient education and selecting good husbands.
...? To the extent that there's any selection going on, it can't be done by all women? Do you just mean the women you personally know and like or something?
Gaashk
2hr ago
Sure.
But then you probably can't just advise a young woman to get a frivolous degree and hope to be a housewife, because even if it works out to get married, start a family, and be a stay at home mom from 22 - 35 or something (big if), she'll still either need to develop a very substantial hobby that might as well be a job, but without burning through all their disposable income, or have a plan to get a job that's sustainable as a middle aged and older mom, both of which take some amount of forethought.
Tenaz
2hr ago
A lot of women think most men are abusive and that they'll be nearly as fertile in their 40's as they are in their 20's. Our culture is extremely uncomfortable telling women that they need to get started with having kids relatively early, to the point that many women don't get that message at all and are shocked when they learn how female fertility actually works.
I would also be very uncomfortable trusting my finances to someone else. There's not just physical abuse to worry about--you also need to hope that they won't quit their careers to pursue a pipe dream, run away with a woman they meet on a business trip, or just get fired and fall into eternal unemployment due to depression. Getting education, and being capable of providing for yourself, is one way to deal with this possibility. Finding a good husband in the first place, one less likely to do any of these things, is another.
Ideally all women do both--getting sufficient education and selecting good husbands. As a culture, though, we refuse to acknowledge that at some point these strategies trade off against each other. Pursue a challenging and time-intensive degree and the best husbands will probably have already married other women. You may not have the time and resources to find a good spouse in time while dealing with educational demands.
I'm not saying women shouldn't get educations. Speaking as someone with no more than a high school diploma, I think a Bachelor's is probably the sweet spot for most women, but individual circumstances vary. I just think it's a shame so many people, men and women, operate off of faulty information and narratives when choosing how much education to get.
curious_straight_ca
2hr ago
My take:
Look I love rolling in shit as much of the next guy, but I think it has to be interesting. Yeah, critical theory gay pedo, I remember watching that video four years ago or whatever, but you can't just say the line for the thousandth time, try to do something new with it.
If jannies had the balls to moderate on QUALITY, and just say "yeah you're irredeemably r-slurred have fun on .win", jannies would be seen as sigma monarch chads and not whining virgins.
This place as a whole doesn't want any of that toxic stuff anyway. I'd say run back to rdrama, but rdrama comments in 2024 are so dull I sympathize with coming here. Try twitter, idk.
ResoluteRaven
2hr ago
Maybe a computer mouse or something like an NES controller for playing retro games? Alternatively some kind of optical scanner that can read barcodes/QR codes for data retrieval.
ArjinFerman
Tinfoil Gigachad
2hr ago
One of the few areas where this is not true is child rearing and i s part of why daycare is so expensive and why people sometimes quit work to care for children.
There is no way that daycare costs aren't artificially inflated. If you're already taking care of a kid full-time, you can throw in a couple more, and barely see the difference (it's the whole reason it's even possible for daycare to work). The reason your SATHM neighbor can't offer daycare as a service is that she's not allowed to, not that it wouldn't be cost effective.
AvocadoPanic
2hr ago
I read OP's post
Motherhood needs to be far more prestigious than any career.
and this had been the case when tfr was higher, though I don't see that @Tenaz actually makes this argument.
To claim that modern society has devalued motherhood and femininity, or made them low status, is completely backwards.
This disagreement with OP leads me to believe @To_Mandalay also believes that @Tenaz has said that motherhood was more valued before 'modern society'.
Though I don't see that he says it I read OP to mean the perceived 'value' of motherhood had declined from the past to the present. @To_Mandalay disagreeing could mean that perceived value had increased over time. Hence my question.
Motherhood and femininity in general have been devalued for as long as patriarchy has existed, so pretty much the whole of human history.
I now take this to mean that @To_Mandalay means the perceived value of motherhood has been flat or unchanged because the patriarchy. I don't find this argument particularly compelling.
ResoluteRaven
2hr ago
I think The Expanse and For All Mankind fit what you're looking for, and maybe Firefly and Battlestar Galactica as well.
I mean, you could probably make a similarly complicated chart for Christianity to be fair. Make branching paths for Arianism, Nestorianism, Filoque, Transubstantian, Marian and Saintly devotions, Apostolic Succession, Mormonism, etc.
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