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What do you think of male-female dating dynamics relative to the culture war? I have a lot of thoughts on this but ultimately think the people worth pursuing are not crossing people off their list because they don’t believe in X or Y.
But it might be beyond your control. As an American, I remember swiping on tinder in London and seeing ‘Do not swipe if you are Republican’ but they replaced the word with something called the Tories. Clearly some people will only date people that share the same ideology. Which is fair if you want someone to nod along to whatever you say, I guess.
It gets tricky when you outright pretend to believe things you don’t. It’s not courageous or respectable. Not apologizing for what you believe is paramount to gaining the respect of your partner. Obviously, when I say this, I’m really talking about relatively conservative men dating liberal women. And honestly, except for far left people like Hasan piker that glorify violent revolution in such a way that they do a 360 and put off conservative ethos, I do think men women find attractive aren’t the male feminist, Bernie bro type. It’s almost like a yin and yang thing where you want some tension with your ideals.
Unlike religion, I really don’t see a need to agree with my SO on much of anything (odd to me that JD Vance and Usha married despite this). It’s sad to think that, on the spectrum of ‘not scaring the hoes’ political ideology, you could have a good thing with someone, say the wrong thing, and lose a relationship because of it.
Only thinking this because I’m coming to terms that I don’t necc need to date a based woman who appreciates old Sam Hyde stuff and edgy right wing leaning online happenings. I’d rather not select for political belief, find someone that will lightly argue with me, and has no interest in that stuff. Likewise, I’ll voice my opinion to her but not make fun of her for being on bluesky or whatever
Makes sense to me.
Suppose that I believe that Republicans (or Democrats, pick your poison) are all either not paying attention (ie, Stupid) or actually are all in on the party platform (ie, Evil). Why would I ever want to date someone I think is a lesser human than me?
Putting "No X" in the profile just saves time and effort for everyone involved.
Semi related: It's probably an artifact of the weirdly mixed politics of the area that I live, but even the apolitical women I know have started putting various flavors of "I think Trump is stupid and his followers are cultist idiots, if this offends you then fuck off" instead of "No republicans", simply because that filters out a good chunk of men that are a problem to date.
It really is an open field for women willing to tolerate conservatives in high income areas, they get to pick out of a huge lineup.
If you think that "not paying attention" means "stupid", you have a very blinkered view of human nature - as is common among people who are very into online politics, though, which is now a large and growing percentage of the population.
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Girls are suppose to be empathatic in their role so become a liberal and having suicidal empathy fits with ideal female personality traits. I don’t think many men would not date a girl because she’s a liberal. Though they may question whether people with those traits should get to vote.
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I'm my area, the women demand that you are also a leftist and/or communist. Sometimes every single Hinge prompt in their profile is something political.
In my area they are like this but are also frustrated that the men they match with are all burnouts and losers who are unemployable. The blue coastal elite men they desire are at the coasts.
"Why can't I just find someone with an honest blue collar job that's not MAGA?"
They're so close to putting it together.
(I'm a Dem voting blue coastal elite that retired to this town and am enjoying the comedy)
There are functionally no normal blue collar men who are conventional progressives or democrats in any way. Yes, that includes the unions.
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“Coastal elite”
“Honest blue collar”
one of these things is not like the other
My interpretation @dr_analog's comment that they want a "Costal Elite" but would be willing to settle for a good-looking guy with an honest job.
The "problem" is that selecting for men with honest jobs means selecting against men who hold luxury beliefs. They may as well be asking "why can't i find a handsome dark-triad bad-boy who wants to settle down with me?
The answer is that these are contradictory desires. Dark-triad bad-boy's aren't interested in settling down. And well-adjusted men with honest jobs who are interested in settling down are not going to share thier politics.
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Do you live in Leningrad?
Chicago.
Chicago is awful for this sort of hicklib/post-tumblr politics, but on a dating app you can basically treat it as 20%/80% "I'm cripplingly neurotic and vanishingly unlikely even to go on a date" or "I'm absolutely not relationship material, but play the first date right and I'm coming straight back to yours". You can respond to that signal as is appropriate for your goals.
How is a major metro area "hicklib?"
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Ehh, I found plenty of conservative women in chicago, when I lived there in the late 20-teen/early 2020s, including a date with a straight up neo-nazi adjacent woman. There are a lot of people in the city and even more in the burbs, it's just a numbers and signaling problem.
I was going to make a comment about you fumbling a win, but then I remembered the one I met who had a swastika and SS bolt tattoos. A man's got to know his limitations.
I fumbled nothing lol. She was interested afterwards, I was not, we wanted a different relationship style. I might have a pathologically open mind but spendapotamuses still trigger a disgust reaction in me.
Edit: neo-nazi in views but not a skinhead or a “baddie” looks wise, she definitely wasn’t the biker bar type.
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All the conservative Chicagoland women are in the collar counties and don't use dating apps.
I'm not looking for conservative, I'm looking for someone who doesn't ask me what my pronouns are.
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