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ZorbaTHut  1yr ago (text post)   4920 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for September 11, 2022

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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What superstitions do you have? What ordinary acts do you find vaguely supernaturally sacred/blasphemous?

For me, I don't really like most cakes, but if I'm at a Birthday Party or especially a Wedding and there's a cake for the event, I feel like not eating a little bit of it would be deeply disrespectful. Like saying "I hope your marriage fails."

Equally, out of some vague sense of karmic justice, if I'm late for something I self consciously avoid doing anything rude to try to hurry up. So no cutting people off in traffic, no letting the door slam in someone's face, etc. I just feel like if I cut courtesy corners like that, the next piece of luck will 100% go against me.

What superstitions do you have? What ordinary acts do you find vaguely supernaturally sacred/blasphemous?

None of them in the literal sense of the supernatural.

Believing in "karma" or the law of attraction or the sanctity of gifts, isn't believing in the supernatural, you can make mechanistic/statistical arguments for justifiably "believing" in all of those things. Or that you can believe in those behaviors and beliefs having utility without the need for belief in spirits and ghosts.

Sure you can, but are you in the moment? Or are you just rationalising it as that afterwards?

I ritually repeat words to myself under my breath in order to reassure myself when I'm stressed out/uncertain about stuff. As ridiculous as it is, it feels to my brain as if repeatedly verbally stamping out uncertainties makes it go away.

I don't see this as superstitious/magical. You are basically pressing the "purge all thoughts" button by spamming your brain with a single repeated concept.

The Law of Attraction. Not very seriously, and I don't bank on it at all, but sometimes I think about someone or something and then not long after they reach out and enter my life after being out of it for a year and I can't help but feel there's some cosmic connection there.

sometimes I think about someone or something and then not long after they reach out and enter my

this is clearly just random chance. (also, if it wasn't, you could just ... think about everyone. like, make a list of all people whose names you remember, then law of attraction them. now everyone loves you!!)

also if you really want more people to 'reach out' to you, you can just reach out to them first. that'd be much more effective! Not that generic 'friendship and connection' has any specific value - it'd vary a lot from person to person - but at least try something effective.

Probably a bit tangential, but I believe in a number of "pesudoscience" Parapsychological phenomena, such as remote viewing and micro psychokinesis - Particularly of random number generators.

I am not out to attack or debunk any one’s beliefs, but I just don’t see how one could go about justifying psychokinesis of a random number generator. If this where possible wouldn’t it be ludicrously easy for someone to demonstrate? Or do you think that such people have gotten filthy rich gambling and just want to appear as extremely unlikely but otherwise normal outliers? (The only thing I have ever heard of that seems to plausibly suggest such an ability is that mathematician who won the lottery four times but given her background there could have easily been some other type of advantaged play https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joan_R._Ginther )

Not sure if it's a precise fit to the topic, but I have a bit of an obsession with the emotion of gratitude, I think.

Any object made with care or given as a heartfelt gift is sacred, and must be treasured. If it becomes necessary to dispose of it, then some form of ceremony to commemorate it is in order. If it is possible to keep it around, then kept it shall be as a reminder of the positive relations associated with it.

I have boxes full of happy memories, and go through them about once a decade each.

Many of my EDC items and clothes are worn and torn, but for as long as they still fulfill their function I continue to use them because being able to physically take good thoughts with me outweighs the inconvenience of any broken zipper, scratched screen or tattered lining.

Every night before going to bed I stand at the window, look out into the sky and wish well to anyone who ever did me a good turn.

It may all be immaterial to impractical, but it feels very right.

While this video is intended as comedy, I can assure you it's all true...

https://youtube.com/watch?v=l-isdRah3rQ

...the EMS gods are real and they are always listening.

Honestly, nothing, at least not that I can think of. I regularly break many of the taboos others have listed, such as saying "things can't get any worse" or setting thermostats and volume dials on random numbers, and am often taken by surprise when I get scolded by other people who are bothered by this stuff. I think I am missing the part of my brain that makes me care about symbolic or "sacred" things. I'm an atheist, I don't care about flags and similar symbols, I don't get offended by the utterance of taboo words, I don't care about particular dates on the calendar (e.g. I often take my wife out "for Valentines Day" on a day that is not actually Feb 14, since the restaurants are less crowded).

I often take my wife out "for Valentines Day" on a day that is not actually Feb 14, since the restaurants are less crowded

This is the way. I do the exact same thing, it's not generally worth it to go out on Feb 14.

  • The thermostat, TV volume, and radio volume must always be on even numbers. My wife also does this.

  • I avoid stepping on sidewalk cracks when I can

  • If I walk across a tiled or patterned floor I try to step on only tiles of a single color or walk along the shape of the pattern

  • All the cards have to be facing the same way before they get put back in the box

  • When I put away my daughter's pencils I always either organize them from tallest to shortest or into a single continuous color gradient

If I walk across a tiled or patterned floor I try to step on only tiles of a single color or walk along the shape of the pattern

xkcd 245 was when I knew I wasn't alone

All the cards have to be facing the same way before they get put back in the box

I think that's just convenience, not superstition.

It makes me slightly irritated if they're not facing the right direction just on principle.

I don’t think any sane person puts cards back in the box with some facing forwards and others facing backwards. I assume we’re talking about cards that have a proper direction up and down, it’s nice to have them lined up correctly.

Or maybe he’s talking about the suit direction? Like on a 7 of spades, the pip in the middle needs to be facing the right way?

In my little circle of math olympiad nerds, growing up, the tile-stepping stuff was maintained to be the single best correlate of "one-of-us"-ness, too.

It feels so good. Ironically I'm probably least gifted in math. I still did well in my math classes, but I found calculus and physics math pretty hard to grasp. Simpler math was a breeze though and I can do mental arithmetic faster than most people I know.

It's funny because this is OCD spectrum behaviour but there's no telling whether there's a hidden sixth point that goes "also, OCD is ruining my life" or if this is the full extent of your quirkiness

I think I have other little things like this, but if I can't do them they just annoy me slightly. They're not compulsive, fortunately.

The thermostat, TV volume, and radio volume must always be on even numbers. My wife also does this.

In any car with dual zone climate control where you set a temp, I always have them on different numbers. Just by a degree or two. I thought it was funny when my mom got her first car like that when I was 8, and I've stuck to it ever since.

Yep, same - why do we even have dual zone climate control if we're not going to use it?

It was even beneficial once - my girlfriend and I had rented a car for a trip and it had dzcc. Instantly she put her side on 26° and I put mine on 20°. After a couple of hours we switched seats, and she asked how I could stand it so cold? And I was just about to ask her how she could have it so hot, I was sweating after only a few minutes! And so when we got home we set the air conditioning to 23°, a temperature neither of us found uncomfortable.

Man I hate that, lol. I used to always make sure that both zones were on the same even number.

I try never to invoke karmic irony by saying 'well, things can't get any worse' or 'at least we're finished with that problem', or so on. I'm sure it's coincidence, but in so many places my life has seemingly run on movie logic it's at the point where I don't believe it, but I alieve it very strongly.

I intentionally tempt fate by saying things like that all the time.

Reminds me of Irritant's Law from the Practical Guide to Evil.

“Irritant’s Law: inevitable doom is a finite resource, and becomes mere doom when split between multiple heroic bands. Nemeses should never simultaneously engage a single villain.” – Extract from ‘The Axiom Appendix’, multiple contributors

If the world runs on drama and irony, flooding the field to undercut any particular instance and rob it of all power is a viable strategy.

...and well, here we are.

But fortunately, things can't possibly get any worse now.

Curiously, social norms and customs, however ornamental, do actually work because they are social equilibria everyone coordinates through. My private superstitions though emerge when I can't figure out how to deal with the problem. I inevitably start to consider any "noise" (random tiny factor) as potentially decisive (or as being a sacred seed to ensuing activity). Feels like a trivial coping mechanism, but it's quite influential.

I a not really comfortable being "in debt" to other people, even friends. So if somebody is a designated driver I always offer at least gas money, if somebody gives me a gift I feel the pressure to reciprocate ASAP, if somebody invites me for a dinner I need to plan dinner of my own to invite that person to and so forth.

Later in my life I found out that especially an unsolicited gift is one form of manipulation, it seems that a lot of people are hardwired to count it as a status game so I guess I want to return the favor on my own terms rather than waiting if this other person ever wants to "call in the favor" for something more. Interestingly from my observation there are loads of people who do not have this at all and they are comfortable to just receive without giving back. It is not that I have any issue if it is the other way around and my gifts/favors are not reciprocated, but it seems strange to me.

When I was a young teen a girl I had a crush on offered to bake my some cookies. I turned this offer down on the grounds that not causing her extra effort made me a more attractive partner. I now know that this was a foolish understanding of how gift giving and general reciprocity work. People like doing other people favors. It makes them feel good and useful, not because they expect an equal or greater reward in the future but because it satisfies their self conception as a good and resourceful friend. When you try to balance the scales constantly it makes relationships feel transactional and cheap, sudden the sacrifice I made to be your designated driver is cheapened to some gas money.

I live under the philosophy that I should look for and utilize opportunities to do large amounts of good for other people are low cost to me and just be genuinely grateful when others do likewise to my benefit.

Later in my life I found out that especially an unsolicited gift is one form of manipulation

People who do this are to be avoided.

deleted

People who give unsolicited gifts or people who use unsolicited gifts to manipulate?

unsolicited gifts to manipulate

it seems that a lot of people are hardwired to count it as a status game so I guess I want to return the favor on my own terms rather than waiting if this other person ever wants to "call in the favor" for something more.

I'm like you with regards to feeling uncomfortable being in debt, but I've learned that trying to return a debt on your own terms can for some odd reason cause friction, I guess you can still be the annoying demanding party insofar as you're asking them to show up so you can pay them back.

I try to stay away from creditor/debtor scenarios when it comes to personal relationships. If you're a close friend who really needs it I'll just give you the money.

My wife has always shared your sensibility on this sort of thing (not between us, outside our relationship) and I've always had trouble understanding it. It's not that I receive gifts without an expectation of reciprocity, it's that I'm perfectly fine with keeping some rough ledger in my head of what's owed and received and would regard any friend I can't do that with as someone that I don't much trust at all and probably not even really a friend. That extends from small monetary things like buying a round of drinks to non-monetary effort like helping someone move. I don't even really care if the ledger actually ever evens out, just that there's some rough approximation of equal effort and money.

Any favor is a blow to agency, to some extent. In the future it might easily be claimed to bear interest, moral if not financial. Cialdini in his book "Influence" has a section, devoted specifically to unprovoked gifts as a manipulation tool.

I have a parent with narcissistic traits who is also the breadwinner of the family who uses that form of manipulation. Gifts, vacations, and/or tuition money means forever debts that cannot be repaid and makes emotional, financial, and/or physical abuse beyond criticism (in their mind).

I've never liked gifts.

I don't care for borrowing/being borrowed from either. I've been on both sides of it when it created resentment. Good way to damage relationships.

I feel the same way unless something is very specifically denoted as a gift.

I feel no qualms about accepting a gift freely given, in the spirit it was intended. Similarly, I give gifts with the expectation that such won't necessarily be reciprocated, and that is more than okay. I might feel more affection for a person who gives me a gift, which noticeably makes me more pleasant towards them and more likely to give them a gift in the future, but it doesn't form any sort of obligation which might drive future behavior.

But if someone does a "favor" for me my brain basically forms an entry on a ledger that is even more indelible than the bitcoin blockchain, and I will carry that knowledge around with me until I somehow am able to wipe it clean by returning the favor or otherwise balance the books.

I don't like throwing away books, even though I know for sure that it doesn't matter; the world's not running out of paper and ink any time soon.

At the same time, some books are much less likely to see a reprint/new edition anytime soon.

Most books take up so little space I don't think there's much harm in keeping them around so long as you're not actively collecting and hoarding them.

I never put salt or pepper on my food. My mom once told me that it was rude to put salt on food before you tasted it, and then I thought about it as a child and was like, sounds just as rude to be like 'urgh, good heavens' after taking a bite and then salt it, like it just seems to me if the food needed more salt or pepper, the chef can add it.

It's honestly really stupid, but now it's kind of just what I do.

Another one - my dad told me when I was a kid that if I wore a belt to sleep, I would die. 20 years later he doesn't remember saying it but we both think it's hilarious because I didn't find out until I was on my LDS mission and told my companion that he needed to take his belt off before sleeping or else he would DIE. Anywho, he was like "excuse me, what are you talking about" and gently corrected me at the time, but I still dutifully take off my belt before a nap!

It's honestly really stupid, but now it's kind of just what I do.

There's a real good Russian proverb about this. "на вкус и цвет товарищей нет". Which basically means everyone has his own preference for color and taste.

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