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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   1443 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for June 10, 2026

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Any advice for cooking restaurant quality Chinese food that isn’t too terribly unhealthy?

Chinese Cooking Demystified has a good tutorial for making a basic stir fry, both video and text. It does involve a fair amount of oil, but probably still less than what a restaurant uses.

Have you tried velveting meat? It gets that slightly soft, slightly chewy consistency that the restaurants have.

Around 3 months ago, I decided to lock in and lose some fat. Started at 22% body fat, goal was to get under 18% before the summer. Did a dexa scan few days ago - came in at 15.2%. Was a bit surprised, I was estimating low 17s-high 16s because I still got some abdominal fat and my abs are barely visible. At 6'3, I'm now officially victim weight at 155lbs. Even though I'm down 10lbs on paper (down 12.7lbs in fat, up 3lbs in lean mass), most of my upper body clothing fits tighter, which is nice. I'm really glad I went through this, learned a lot about nutrition and my body. I was eating 2000 calories, never missed a single day. While it was limiting, there wasn't a day where I felt like I was starving. However, by end of month 2 I did start feeling more tired and less motivated. Workouts would drain me hard, and I started to have to line up my carb intake with my workouts - I would just feel dead as soon as I stepped into the gym if I didn't. Workouts where I had some fast carbs beforehand vs workouts where I didn't were night and day - with carbs I was still able to push myself and continue (slow) progressive overload, while without them I was just barely holding on. And in last 2 weeks, even carb loading stopped being effective. By then, I gave up on progressive overload and just coasted through with 60-80% load.

A few interesting things: I somehow lost enough fat off my face for it to be noticeable even though I didn't have much fat there originally (or so I thought), makes me curious how I would look like at 12-14% body fat. I've always thought I had a mild case of gynecomastia on one of my titties but nope, it was just uneven fat distribution, which is now completely gone. The current trend of protein obsession in all foods is so clutch, makes hitting macros so much easier, while still letting yourself have some treats here and there.

Next goal is getting to 165lbs 15% body fat, clanker is telling me it will take 6 to 9 months. I already upped my calories to 2.3k/day, it's genuinely hard for me to consume this many carbs, I'm inhaling so much fruit daily and somehow still have some loose carbs leftover. Definitely an eye opener to how out of whack my macro intake was when I didn't track every meal like I do now.

At 6'3, I'm now officially victim weight at 155lbs.

In light of your linked comment, your proportions must be unusual that you don't look like a concentration camp survivor at this combo.

That's a BMI of 19.4? Skinny, but certainly not underweight or gaunt.

I'm 6'2" and have pictures of myself when I was 150. Impossibly gaunt. The BMI calculator saying healthy weight for my height goes down to 143 is absurd.

Slightly unusual yes, I happen to have really long and thin limbs. Don't think I look like a concentration camp survivor, but would definitely look better with extra 10-15lbs of muscle.

What is "victim weight"?

Internet gym lingo. means you're at a height&weight where, in an imaginary violent confrontation, you'd have no chance of making it out in good shape (you'd be a victim of the violence).

Just joking about me being too light for my height

On the inadvisable one.

I have managed to fall for a lesbian. I knew better. She told me to know better, clearly and kindly, the way you'd warn a man about a missing step on the stairs. I agreed with her assessment in full and missed the step anyway.

In my defense, the trap was well constructed. She's gorgeous. She laughs at my jokes against her own better judgment and then looks annoyed about it, which is twice the reward for half the effort. She is a genuinely good person who would deny this under oath. We walk a lot, the kind of walks where the conversation outlasts the route. I hate walking, really, but I always say yes and go running anyway. We get the occasional drink. The odds of this becoming anything more than what it is sit somewhere near the odds of the city chippie getting a Michelin star. So what. We show up for each other anyway. That's the whole arrangement, and it holds.

The wanting is the manageable part. The hard part arrived a couple of weekends ago: something small I did while we were out drinking on a date and having a great time, well, it hurt her, badly, an ordinary gesture of affection that landed on old trauma I had no way to see. Even she ruled out blaming me, immediately, with a generosity I would struggle to extend to myself in her position. What kept me up was watching her treat her own body's distress as a non-event. No anger at me, no care redirected toward herself, just an administrative decision that this was not worth anyone's concern, hers least of all. She has since instructed me to stop worrying, and separately to stop being her shrink. I am complying with the second, mostly. The first is outside my jurisdiction. I know my limits.

(I'm told watching someone refuse care builds character. I had a character. I'd like a refund.)

On the more energetic developments, since @FtttG asked.

A lady, slightly older than me, exactly as fond of flowers as I'd suspected. Smart, gorgeous, laughs at my jokes, which regular readers will recognize as clear evidence of mental illness, though her prognosis is excellent. She insisted I book a hotel for the night of our date, that there was no way I could expect an invite home to hers. That she had standards. I booked it, privately confident the whole time that this was a formality. The hotel went unused. I consider the cost a donation toward the upkeep of plausible deniability.

Her dog is, per the lady herself, an excellent judge of character. The dog spent the evening filing me under family and the morning giving me side-eye, possibly over the snoring, possibly over what I did to her mum. We have since walked in a park, the three of us, like a scene from a tasteful European film. She acts as if I'm the second coming. I keep explaining that this is a low bar. She keeps declining to be discouraged, and there's a second date on the calendar. She's a busy lady with a life, and she makes time for me. And sends me interesting pictures while I'm at work, making me hot under the collar.

I know where the odds are better. I can read a prior as well as the next Bayesian on this forum. I fell for someone else anyway, and my great fortune is that it appears to be ruining nothing: the friendship holds, the dates continue, everyone involved is being implausibly adult about it. It may or may not work out. I try anyway, which has lately been my answer to most questions.

Cool story, bro.

I can't help being too cool for school, which is why I'm in higher education.

I wonder if we are all really gluttons for our own doom. Or if it's just you.

Not just me, and not everyone. Somewhere in the middle. I'm just honest about things.

I've made my share of foolish choices, but I like to think one reason was that there was no one waving a red flag at me telling me not to make them. Consider me your waving red flag.

Sorry, can't hear you. Because I'm on the sidelines waving the red flag too, and so is she.

I do know. Very well. Uncomfortably, painfully well. Falling in love is not a choice, at least for me. And I am genuinely okay with being just friends with her, which is most likely outcome.

We were good as married in my mind,
But married in my mind's no good.

Years later, Cuomo found out she was only an ally, not a lesbian.

Finally over the awful ear infection I had last week.

It was either the worst or second worst sickness in my life. It was like a constant 6/10 pain with spikes up to an 8 or 9. Tylenol and Advil barely did anything. Or maybe they were the only things keeping me from an even worse experience.

It mentally wore me down and I broke. Was a whimpering mess for an hour, before I pulled myself together enough to go to the ER in the middle of the night.

Ear infections are no joke. I perforated an eardrum before I could get to a doctor. Glad it's behind you.

Glad to hear you're feeling better. Last year I had Covid for probably the third or fourth time and it was some of the worst pain I'd ever experienced, just splitting headaches for days.

How are you guys preparing mentally and physically for the impending arrival of flesh-eating maggots?

All maggots are technically flesh-eating. Just screw worms don't wait for the dying part. To answer, I'm living several thousand miles away.

Grimace and reluctantly settle for medium-well steaks.

That's unnecessary, right? Neither eggs nor larvae can survive stomach acid. The dangerous thing are female flies laying eggs on you.

full body condom

New Year's resolution check-in:

  • Posted my thirteenth blog post of the year yesterday, concerning the murder of Henry Nowak and how the case was covered by the progressive media (expanded from two comments I posted here).
  • Went to the gym three times last week, two days of cardio and one day of deadlifting. Planning to go this evening. Can deadlift 1.84x my bodyweight for 3 reps, squat 1.22x for 8 reps and bench press .87x for 6 reps.
  • Have not consumed any pornography since waking up on January 1st.

How goes it @self_made_human, @thejdizzler, @birb_cromble, @ThomasdelVasto and @falling-star?

Got a lot going on but doing well despite it.

  1. Work. Paper was published! Feeling a bit anxious about work because of the possibility that we don't have microscopes when I get back from the UK and just poor time management in general
  2. Fitness: Did 2x tempo sessions last week and hit 57 miles with some biking. Did not make it to the gym: will be better about that this week.
  3. Intellectual Stuff: Novel clearing is going well, and writing my Italian update for this month.
  4. Finances: Nothing to report
  5. Dating. Brazilian women is "too overwhelmed" by living in a new country to be in a relationship, which is such bullshit because she just changed all her hinge photos. I just wish people would be honest when they rejected me. Anyway, have a date with someone else this weekend and a third person the weekend after.
  6. Tarot. No session this week
  7. Socializing: EA meetup, Spanish Happy Hour, various parties. Again too much socialization.
  8. Screen time: 1.4 hours phone. Getting that last little bit below an hour is proving to be a big challenge.
  9. Mental health: feeling bad because of rejection and poor time management at work.

Congrats on the publication!

Did you abandon meditation completely? Not worth your time?

Outside chance: it's now so embedded in your routine, like brushing teeth, that it doesn't need mentioning... 😌

I forgot to mention it. It's still in my routine, it's just kind of stagnated at 5 mins when I wake up/5 minutes when I go to sleep/breaks throughout the work day. It's something I would like to spend more time on, but I have to get over this attitude of always needing to be "productive"/in motion. The ideal goal would be sitting for 30 minutes in the morning and doing a 30 minute walking meditation in the evening and spending a bit more time on it during the weekends.

If I were you I'd try to look at whether the subjective mental experience of being productive/in motion is the exact same as the external activities corresponding to it, or not.

A lot of things can be accomplished with less mental activity and more peace, than what most persons believe.

I'm coming to realize this as well. When I do a single thing at a time almost anything is relaxing.

Multitasking doesn't even exist, but we act like it does. Rumination and crystal ball gazing doesn't really work either, yet almost everyone engages in it. Could call them mundane insanities.

One thing that's odd is that the mind has some sort of habit of re-establishing an aversion to just being focused and chilled out in the Now moment. I still get this sometimes, in fact I'm struggling with it today. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Work. Paper was published!

Congratulations

Brazilian women is "too overwhelmed" by living in a new country to be in a relationship, which is such bullshit because she just changed all her hinge photos.

In her defense, Brazilian women tend to be very promiscuous. Just because she doesn't want to be in a relationship doesn't mean she doesn't want to fuck lots of American boys. Also, I thought you'd already lost interest in her?

Yea but I'm the one who has to express that not her, it hurts my self esteem to be rejected (mainly kidding).

Spending is $727.72 than the same day last year.

I was a little irresponsible with my spending over the weekend by having a small party for friends and family. Food and booze costs really stack up as guest count increases.

I still haven't deposited those insurance reimbursements. I know I should, but part of me wants to wait until July when the second half of the big home repair payment comes due. I hate going cash flow negative in a month, and I'm coming around to the idea that losing a little interest is worth me not doing more foolish things to compensate.

No workouts, well, barring some push-ups. I have too much going on. Good and bad. Mostly good, thank fucking God. I am holding myself accountable to more important things right now, and still getting laid so the physique isn't too bad.

Who's the lucky laid-y?

Not the asexual lesbian, because she probably is an asexual lesbian with incredible sexual trauma. But I'm sure I'll write about her (the lucky one) at some point.

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