site banner
PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2871 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for December 19, 2025

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

1
Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Dang, advised a buddy to shoot his shot with a girl in a discord he was into. Apparently as soon as he admitted he had feelings she immediately blocked him and left the server.

Not sure how this guy asked her out, but generally he's a pretty socially competent guy. Not autistic or anything, has been married before and dated a good bit so not an incel type. It's just nuts that ladies by and large can be so neurotic when it comes to getting propositioned. Now his whole status in this server with folks he likes is in question.

Idk, obviously I don't understand the female experience here, but it really strikes me as a lack of maturity to react this way!!!

Anyway to make it fun, what's your best story about getting rejected and/or rejecting someone romantically?

Now his whole status in this server with folks he likes is in question.

Was it in front of everyone rather than as a PM or something? Odd.

If he was doing this over Discord, presumably he didn't actually know her yet, or he would have done something else? Maybe she wasn't representing herself accurately? Personally, I've only spoken with people semi-anonymously on Discord, and would be a bit spooked if they inferred my location and invited me over, even just another woman as a friend. But other people seem to use Discord with their actual relatives when playing games together, I think. So it seems to vary wildly.

I don't remember any specifics of rejections, I'm very awkward and was even more awkward when younger, so I'm sure I said/did something terribly cringy. I do remember one time a guy that I was good friends with but not romantically interested it and I walked by each other unexpectedly, glanced at each other, and both chose to pretend we hadn't, didn't even wave. We later confirmed that, yes, we had both noticed that happening.

Was it in front of everyone rather than as a PM or something? Odd.

No it was a PM but she blocked him and other people and left the server, and he basically owned up to people and told them what happened.

He has known her online for a while, idk exactly how it went down but I'm assuming he said something like "hey I liked you and I'd be down to date." They are many states away from each other.

both chose to pretend we hadn't, didn't even wave. We later confirmed that, yes, we had both noticed that happening.

I think this is probably the better/more mature response, as opposed to nuking a whole friend group and causing a bunch of drama. I find that quite immature personally but idk what it's like to be a woman.

I suppose I know what it's like to be a woman, but not what it's like to have important friendships online that didn't start in person. Considering online relationships to be ephemeral and in some sense unreal seems to be fairly common, even on dating apps where the express purpose is to find someone to eventually form a RL relationship with, as annoying as that must be for the (usually men) getting ghosted. If someone on The Motte tried inviting me to their house, I'm not sure that I wouldn't simply never use this user name again. But DSL has in-person meetups (that I've never considered attending), so not sure.

Is that a dare? Sounds like a dare.

What is an adult doing on discord?

Anecdote: Some years ago, I was playing a semi-active role in my state's branch of the Libertarian Party. At the time, the party used Slack as its primary center of communication, and there was a minor crisis because Slack was discontinuing several free features on which the party relied. (Most prominently, Slack would now delete messages after a few weeks, rather than storing them indefinitely.) Unbelievably, the first instinct of these (state) Libertarian Party bigwigs was to switch to Discord! IIRC, they said to me something like: "We think that having the imperfect solution of Discord immediately is better than having the better solution of Element several months from now." I (merely a dabbler in this area) actually had to go to the effort of setting up an example Matrix/Synapse/Element installation in a Digital Ocean virtual machine (in the space of a few days, not a few months) before one of the bigwigs got around to duplicating the setup on his own personal hardware (not even owned by the party, I think).

I am an adult and I don't use discord a lot but I have at least two groups I participate with which are on discord. I don't know why discord specifically, it could be anywhere as far as I am concerned, but the fact is they are on discord, and so there are a bunch of adults there. That's just how it happens - a group decides "why don't we set up online presence?" and one of the people says "I know discord, I can set us up there" and voila - the whole group is now on discord. Could end up on Telegram or Slack or whatever - it's kinda random.

Gaming with friends? What do you mean? This guy has four kids but is a divorced dad and found a discord group he likes via his church, he games with his buddies. I think he's a great dude, I don't appreciate the snarky attempt to judge him based on a very simplistic characteristic. I thought you Trad Caths were better than that.

Look to the beam in your own eye, etc etc, eh?

I thought you Trad Caths were better than that.

No doubt this is meant as a joke but it grates.

Hah yeah I'm Orthodox so I sometimes poke fun at Catholics. But ultimately we both know the two of our churches are the strongest redoubts of Christianity by far.

That's always one of the possible outcomes. You take the risk, and often it doesn't pay off. And the girl doesn't owe anyone her acceptance of their advances, if she feels uncomfortable being propositioned, she can refuse, and she can leave. There's nothing immature about it. One has to decide if it's better for him to always leave in a state of vague hope but never know, or to risk it and know either way.

Saying "No" is always acceptable. A block, and then kicking off drama in a (digital) friend group? Honestly bizzare, and not what a normal rejection should look like.

Sounds like home boy really misjudged the chemistry / who this woman was at a minimum.

People meet in all kinds of weird places. But discord probably not ideal - you'd at least want to know how your potential mate looks like, not?

In fairness, my buddy met his wife on Discord. (Although, counterpoint, she suuuuuuucks, so be careful what you wish for, I guess.)

Nah I think it's still the best move to just shoot your shot.

Admirable, but mistaken.

Months-to-years of wondering "What Could Have Been" is way more painful than a typical rejection. Especially if it's someone you're really into.

A rejection by someone that you're really into can mean that you don't ever get to be around that person again -- which is also pretty bad, if you're actually really into that person.

Are you successful with women? Telling you, if you aren't willing to shoot your shot you never get anywhere.

Idk, I'd say it's actually far more risky shooting your shot offline. Going for ppl you know via internet communities at least has a gated downside risk.

Anybody remembers "elevatorgate" yet?

people you """know""" via internet communities

Didn't we just have a discussion regarding how, on the Internet, no one knows you're a dog?

Tell me you don't actually know any introverts without telling me you don't actually know any introverts.

Everybody has their blessings and their curses. I am sure your blessings are plentiful, but there are people for whom the chance of success cold-asking a woman out in person are exactly zero. It's just a fact. There are things that some people can do and some can't. Some can win a match with a professional boxer and some can't. Some can run a marathon and some can't. Some can bench press 2x bodyweight and some can't. Some can successfully charm women in person from cold start and some can't. Giving them advice "don't do shit you have - maybe small, but non-zero - chance with, and instead do shit which you have zero chance with" is strictly harmful.

Apparently things are different with younger millennials and boomers, but introverts have been courting each other for generations. They just invite each other out for coffee or a book club or some such tepid thing. I (a millennial who remember an analogue household) and the few but not none men who have asked me out (in person) are introverts. If things continue this way I feel like I'm going to have to send my son off somewhere less neurotic when he comes of age.

I admire your resolve in standing your ground here. I also dislike the term "shoot your shot" which brings unwelcome images of weird subreddits to mind.

I'd also suggest that like everything there are right and wrong ways to go about (it), with the latter far outnumbering the former.

It's a bad idea to shoot your shot when a (lets be honest, very likely) rejection leaves you worse off than saying nothing.

This is why dating apps are so big. The cost of rejection is zero.

Its also why asking out women from work is usually a bad idea. Massive downside risk.

Eh I disagree. Some table stakes can at least let the girl know you are serious.

I met my now wife at work. And she was the third person I "dated" from a work environment. (The other two might not count for different reasons).

I was aware while dating my wife that if things in the relationship went bad I'd have to leave that organization. She is/was well liked and well known there.

Life has trade-offs. You gotta decide what finding love is worth. If the answer is it's worth "nothing" and you'll take no negative tradeoffs in the search then I think you'll be searching for much longer. (All else equal of course)

You'll never get anywhere asking girls out on discord.

Maybe, maybe not. But I think @ThomasdelVasto has the right of it here. Assuming that the girl in question isn't someone you know through other means (i.e. you don't have better chances to ask her out), you get the best chances by shooting your shot. I'm not saying you should make Discord your primary means of meeting girls, but you also should take your opportunities when and where you find them.

The broader point here is that if your opportunities are coming from discord you're in trouble.

No, if your only opportunities are coming from Discord then you're in trouble. If it's just one source then you're fine. But either way, that doesn't mean you should disdain the chance to take a shot if it comes up. The guy who has other chances loses nothing by seeing what happens on both fronts. The guy who only has a chance on Discord should cultivate better chances, but still should shoot the best shot he has available to him.

Disagree! Many people find relationships online nowadays. It is definitely possible, hard and fast rules in dating are for suckers.

Do zoomers really ask girls out on discord?

It's safe to assume that every two way communication method widely used has been used to ask a girl out.

This guy is a millenial.

look in the dictionary for “Bleak”

it’s just a screenshot of this comment chain

Years ago, I was in a bookstore, and I realized I had forgotten to put my watch on that day. I asked the woman standing at the same shelf if she had the time. She looked me dead in the eye and said "don't talk to me".

She literally would not give me the time of day.

Fast forward a few years. I'm doing a particularly raunchy musical. I've lost a lot of weight, put on muscle, and I'm down to about 7% body fat. Part of the performance involved working the audience, and at one point I realized somebody had their hands down my pants. Looking down, I realized it was the same woman from a few years before. I pulled her hands out of my clothes, gave her a finger wag, and moved on.

She looked me dead in the eye and said "don't talk to me".

That is what I call immature and asshole behavior.

Daily reminder that women can be selfish scumbags too.

Years ago, I was in a bookstore, and I realized I had forgotten to put my watch on that day. I asked the woman standing at the same shelf if she had the time. She looked me dead in the eye and said "don't talk to me".

LOL this is a wild story. Really is crazy though. It's kind of overblown sometimes in trad circles, but I do think that women being bitchy nowadays and having no manners is a huge part of the decline in marriage and fertility crisis etc.

Becomes way harder to shoot your shot as a man when women are willing to act like this to you. It stings a lot more when you're younger as well.

ETA: also grats on getting swole my ninja.

In the old days women would be socially ostracized for shooting down men who were trying to respectfully interact in this way. Loose social networks or anonymity facilitate this kind of behaviour. Guys also use it to ghost, pump and dump etc, so it is what it is.

He messed up the power dynamic. Girls love guys who are in love with themselves.

Not true. Depends on the girl. You're sounding like @Sloot now.

Even if you don't agree with him, @Sloot is consistently hilarious.

I do agree, which is partially why I summoned him here!

Do not underestimate the nebulous wisdom of Sloot. I think he's in the far country of overly cynical and misogynist, but sometimes he is spot on, at least regarding the subset of young attractive females. (Do not ask me to link; I'm going on vibes.)

He's generally so accurate in his takes on the WQ that I sometimes suspect he's CovfefeAnon from X.

I think covfefe anon was covfefe anon.

https://www.themotte.org/@covfefeAnon

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats